The Final Days.

Oh this sounds so morbid I know. But. It's really the final days! like, 32 more days left.

Departure: 31st March 2009
Time: 2340
Place: Terminal 3

This is so final, Ican'tstandit!

Sigh. I'm depressed. I think this is what people call the "pre-departure blues". Like, I'm about to bid goodbye to a place where I've spent all my nineteen years in. Not permanently, of course (I hope) but still! For those of you who know me, I'm a very homely person. I love to stay home, love to be around my family, love to eat homecooked food, love to hear my parents laugh, love to see how my dog can light up my parents' faces, love to just bum around the house doing nothing.

Ah. I talk like a 50-year-old.

So, BBF once told me that I should blog about my pre-departure feelings. Well, the feeling's blue in colour. Tinged with a little green to make it aquamarine so as to make myself feel better.

I'm not making sense, am I?

These past few weeks have been a blur of rushed, and last-minute if I do say so, arrangements. Getting the acceptance letter (yes, it's really that last minute!), getting notification when I can actually start moving in into my dorm, confirmation of the date to fly over, panicking over bank accounts, contemplating on moving my whole room because I absolutely can't decide what to bring over, wondering if I'll freeze in the cold, dreaming of blooming sakuras, feeling a hollow pit in my stomach as I realise that I'm one day closer to my departure.

Sometimes, sometimes, this feeling creeps up to me, saying, "Are you sure this is worth it? Are you sure you won't regret it?". Of course I'm not sure! I've had my own doubts, I've struggled with myself. I don't have an answer to that. I know that when I made the choice to leave, I might be giving up friendships, giving up what really matters in Singapore. But it's all too late now, isn't it. I'll just have to take the risk for what it's worth.

But the bottomline is, I really appreciate those who are genuinely going to miss me, who have been the sweetest, who have thought of giving me farewells. All of you will be in my heart even when I'm miles and miles away. And for the people who really matter, please don't give up on me, especially if I may seem distant or may seem like I don't bother keeping i touch. When the time comes, please understand that I'm trying to deal with loneliness, with independence, with the trials that will come my way. I just need you guys to hang on to the Charmine you know. And your prayers.

So whatever it is, I know I won't be alone. I'll always have Someone with me, guiding me, being there for me in my darkest days (:

Sorry for the emo post. And it's only the 2nd post! I promise I'll be back with happier ones. But meanwhile, I just need to vent.

Whoever read this whole chunk of words, thank you! You're a sweetie (:

♥, char