How it feels to be a popsicle.

Ever wondered how it feels like to live in a freezer? I do now! And it's going to get even colder from tomorrow onwards. Gonna hit below 0 degrees celsius soon. My heater is turned on almost 24/7 (except when I'm in school, where heater is free of course XD), I'm wrapped up like a bundle, I'm dreaming of the glorious sun. This morning when I woke up, I felt so homesick. Like, incredibly. The feeling was so bad. Firstly, because I was dreaming of people back home which made me realised I was back to reality when I woke up, and secondly, because it was so cold that I didn't want to wake up and I was dreaming of being back home in my warm bed. Nightfall is officially at 4.30pm. Sigh. Winter is hardly the season to get pumped up for, is it? So do give me permission to emo.

Kegan did the math and I was pleasantly informed that I can officially skip school for the whole term after tomorrow and still graduate. Theoretically. Whoo. But of course, I can't do that even if I wanted to. Nevertheless, it's still very comforting to know that my attendance is secured when I don't feel like going to school, feeling emo, don't want to wake up on a cold dreary morning, feeling anti-social, feeling homesick. But of course, this came with hard work. I had 100% attendance for the past 2 sems. See kids, perseverance do pay off. (Not always in this form though, don't learn the wrong thing from me xP)

Felt lousy today but looking at pictures of snow and planning trips in my head is helping me feel better. I really don't understand why I always evolve into this person even I myself hate when I'm here. I just feel anti-social all the time and fall into episodes of self-sympathy and -hate. I'm pathetic, aren't I. Heh, I know that myself.

My fridge is still unstocked ever since I came back 2 days ago. So I've been having sad dinners. Today's dinner was hot milo and an afterschool snack of fruits and nuts. Yesterday's was... oh, yesterday I was out so dinner was good - assam chicken, pumpkin scones, muffins and cold sesame spinach, courtesy of Gerald and his nice little cosy place! But I haven't eaten anything substantial today, not because I'm on a starvation diet (I told you, Eric, I won't be able to accomplish that so don't worry :P), but because it's pelting liquefied hailstones and it's too cold to go out to buy groceries. Tomorrow would have better weather and thus, better food I promise.

When someone asks you "How are you?", it's ironic that they would expect to want to hear positive replies like "Good" or "Okay", but never "Horribleiaminsuchahorridmoodthatiwanttoshutmyselfupandstaythere". The bottomline: when people ask you something generic like that, don't feed the person with your lifestory. But I think I'm one of those minorities who would love for replies to be something honest and heartfelt instead of a PC one like "Good". Not because I'm sadistic, or because I enjoy hearing people's lives crash and burn, but because I would love to have someone like that to burst out to without them freaking out or giving me the "Errrr, okayyyy" look. This randomly occurred to me as I was pondering on social behaviour just now.

I remembered I had something else random to say but I can't recall it now. Hmm. Words fail me when I need them most.

Really should travel around more instead of staying in my room typing senseless posts like this. Haha. I want to go to the countryside to unwind for abit. Getting abit stifled by the people and citylife. Deatheater was here to visit.

I'm sorry for this utterly long and silly post. Thanks for reading if you've had the patience to read till HERE.

Rah. I need a hug. For warmth. And for some love.