Om Nom Nom.

Haha, it seems like everyone's using this phrase now. I wonder why? Where did it originate from? Like some tv show or something?? Anybody who knows please enlighten me!

Anyway, this is another food post! I'm posting alot of food pictures recently because I've been cooking! One, to clear food stock before I head back so as to save the hassle of moving so many unnecessary food items; and two, to save money. After lending Kegan 300,000yen I feel utterly broke. I have lots more pictures but I picked these few cos I've something to say about them!


This looks rather disgusting, I know. It's called "高野豆腐 (kouya tofu)”, which is dehydrated tofu. You gotta rehydrate when you cook it - it swells to twice its size. Then cook it in soya sauce, mirin, dashi (the things I use in almost all my dishes). This one has egg on it.



This was my dinner today! Spammed lots of Korean Chilli on onions, carrots, long beans and mushrooms. Yummy! Two thumbs up ((:


When breakfast gets too boring... my inventions haha! My current favourite breakfast menu. The one on the left is nutella with almond nuts for the extra crunch and on the right is actually an idea stolen from Toast Auntie in St Nicks - Chicken Floss Cheese. I can still vividly remember ordering it. I want to eat the Toast Auntie's waffles ): Can we go back to St Nicks in March, girls?



Ta-da! Big thanks to Ruth for this recipe! White chocolate with oreos! I added almonds cos I'm an almond-freak lah. But it really turned out sinfully awesome, so thank you again! :D

Side-Note: Speaking of which, I'm superbly happy I can finally attend one of my friend's 21st! Yay! And I thought I'd be missing out on all the action. Can't wait! ((:

I'll have you know that I made it to two full days of school. I think I can only keep this behaviour up towards the end of the week. But thinking about it, I only have 3 more weeks in this school, so I guess I should just make the extra effort despite of the boring lessons. 3 more weeks.. it's so unreal. One whole year has passed just like that. Next phase would be university which is nothing but a blop of grey matter to me as of now.

And fact is, life is actually not so boring afterall. I was sighing with relief today after I've finished my speech that I've been dreading for the past few weeks (turned out better than expected, thank God) while thinking that I've nothing else to fear/dread until uni starts. But I realised that 'tis was not so.

Marching forward to:
1. University Interview (Feb 15)
2. Final Sem Exams (Feb 22 ~ 24)
3. Home Sweet Home (Feb 24 ~ Mar 19)
4. Hong Kong & Guangzhou Trip (Feb 26 ~ Mar 1)

5. BestFriend's 21st (Mar 13)

6. Moving Day (Mar 25)

7. Start of University (Apr 1~)

Many farewells to be said soon. Goodbye to Tokyo Japanese Language Education Center, Goodbye to YoungSang who's leaving for Korea, Goodbye to Kegan who's moving to Osaka, Goodbye to everything and everyone current and Hi to new people, new environment, new school.

Have I mentioned how much I hate goodbyes?

Yeah, I really do. Hate starting over. But life's like this - full of changes. I guess noone can really say life's boring in all honesty.

Getting out of Tokyo tomorrow and the day after! Going to visit my homestay family in Hamamatsu :D

TGIF (:

Have an awesome weekend, ya'll (:

Lost.

Rare evening spent today.

Finished the remaining of Murakami Haruki's "After Dark" in one breath. Felt so nostalgic after that. Took out BBF's scrapbook she made for me when I came over. Looked at the photos taken over the years. There was youth in our faces, our smiles, our eyes. Everything felt so simple; a smile stayed a smile, tears meant sorrow. Now, a smile hides sadness, it hides secrets. The youth has disappeared from our faces. What's been replaced are weatheredness, experience, cynicism. Time's the culprit.

I miss every little thing. Wished things could be simple as before. Why do we always have to go make things so complicated?

Don't look at me with those cold eyes. What happened to the passion that was once there?

Wish I could cut away at your icy exterior you've placed there for protection. Protection from.. the world, from the hurt, from the things you don't want to know.

Everything feels unreal now.

Oh Innocence, you've been sorely missed.

Yay.

From ANA "Thank you for your purchase."

I guess I've become a hardcore ANA fan, haha because it's probably the cheapest and most decent airline around. I must say going back this time is really an impulse on my part. I'm bogged down by moving-out troubles, university documental troubles, missing out on graduation etc and yet I'm determined to go back. Haha I'm not the youngest child in the family for nothing! And the day I fly back is the very day I end my examination, and I'm not even all too sure what time my paper ends, but I'm taking this huge risk. I know I must be crazy.

The last time I flew back, I had many small mishaps here and there. First, I left my dorm a little too late (half an hour before my train leaves), and the security guard almost refused my request to open the doors until 6.30 (the time my train leaves). I had to beg him before he grudgingly opened it for me, not without the grumblings and under-the-breath cursing. But I guess I can't blame him lah, cos I disturbed his beauty sleep. Then, while I was trudging to the train station, I had to stop more than 10 times because my arms really hurt from the sheer weight of the luggage. It didn't help my anxiety at all. Then at Shinjuku Station, I couldn't find a lift so I had to drag my luggage up flights of stairs (sometimes with the help of strangers - one unwillingly, one willingly). And when I thought I've finally reached the platform, I realised I'd missed the train. All hell almost broke loose right there and then. I thought I had to buy another ticket but I of course couldn't bring myself to drag my luggage up and down the stairs a second time. So out of sheer anxiety and panic, I left my luggage at the platform and went to the ticketing office. Yes, I left it there. I was surprised noone called the station master to report a suspicious baggage haha. After 5-10minutes, I was pleasantly informed I could actually hop on the next train but just that I don't get to sit. Fair enough. I really thanked God at the point. I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown. Thankfully the rest of the journey was smooth.

I just hope such an episode doesn't occur ever. But I foresee I'm going to have another nervous breakdown on the 24th while rushing to the airport. At least I'll have someone to run the race with me, hahaha.

And I really don't like to handle adult-ish matters! I'm dreading engaging a moving company, moving all my stuff, having to install internet all over again etc T_T I just hope I won't have to rush back cos of some documents........

24th Feb - 19 March (:

Two days in one.

Written on 19/01/2010

I miss the days when I didn't have to worry about what to eat tomorrow. It's such a drag to think of what to eat/cook tomorrow =/

Have been only attending afternoon lessons recently. Got 'aiyo-ed' by my mum for that, heh. She's worried I won't be able to graduate with a lousy attendance when I've been telling her that I'm in the safe zone liao. Haha but I know, I don't do it intentionally lah. Not really anyway. Like this morning, I really had a huge headache. Yesterday.. well, yesterday was because I didn't know what was the first 2 periods so decided to skip it. Turned out to be English afterall. Guess I didn't miss anything much? But yesyes, I'll be attending full-day school tomorrow.

Hmm.. if school started later, I could eat brunch instead of having to think of what to eat for lunch.

Continued on 20/01/2010

Good news, I went to school for the whole day today. Though the last two periods were spent talking because there were too few people to conduct lessons (or as thought by my teacher). Win-win situation, I get my attendance and get to slack (:

Went out after school today. Thought I could eat curry hotpot but turned out we were not having dinner outside ): So I dutifully trudged back home and decided to cook mee goreng, instant. To lessen the guilt for eating instant noodles (my mom instilled this guilt in me! Though not for uncertified reasons (: ), I dumped alot of vegetables in it. Okay, that's what I normally do to all my meals if I can lah, to fulfill the "eat vegetables and fruits every day" condition that I was brought up by.

Here are some food pictures to brighten up my blog! Warning: not very appetising!

Dinner: My failed attempt at a hotpot ):

Chicken salad for lunch. Pretty pleased with it (:

Dinner: Haha, Laksa Maggi with lots of veg and tofu (to make up for the guilt, remember?)

Dinner: Tomato Egg Soup. It looks kinda mashed up because I accidentally stirred in the egg abit too fast. It was supposed to have a swirly egg kinda look.

Lunch: Teriyaki Salmon. It looks very charred because the pot is black too! Haha it turned out alright though I should have put more sugar in.

Yeah so these are my pathetic attempts at cooking. Heh, so if you think I cook well, think again! Total fail la. But as long as it's edible to me, I'm fine with it :P

Looks like I'll have to take China Airlines when I fly back because of the pitstop to Taiwan. Heard alot of negative comments about it (eg it falling into the sea etc), so I'm kinda apprehensive about it =x But if that's the only airline I can take, I can't be picky about it. I should just be thankful if I can go back again this time.

Just ate 汤圆courtesy of Kegan. Oh, I've missed the pandan flavour! They actually do sell pandan here, in an Indonesian shop. But ever since coming here, my motto had been to cook simple. Involving too many foreign ingredients is not my idea of simplicity. Maybe until I get my own kitchen and microwave oven la, then I'll attempt more exciting dishes. Haha and I've stopped posting my food pictures on FB to prevent any more negative comments lol.

Feel like eating ondeh-ondeh and muah chee. I always have such weird cravings at such weird times right! The last time I made a list of what I wanted to eat when I went back, but the funny thing was my desire to eat those sort of disappeared the moment I touched down in Singapore. I think I missed Singapore too much and that kinda channelled into my appetite, which was not exactly accurate after all. Y'know, like how you will always crave for the other country's food when you're in this country. When I was in Singapore, I craved sushi, to be honest. But ever since I came back, I've yet to eat even one. Huh. The ironies of life. I don't understand myself too.

Ruth! Hang in there, okay! I understand how tough school can get, but think of all the positives in your life (you're good at that, remember?) and you'll be fine! (: Will be praying for you!

Very belated, but Happy 21st Birthday Daphne! Sounds like you had a wonderful celebration! (:

What's this weird feeling in me.

Erp.

Since I won't be able to send you guys presents for your 21st, you guys are excused from the obligation to send me mine.

Fair (:

Avatar.

Seriously good movie. I liked the whole plot and development of it, not too rushed and not too draggy. Just nice (: Watched it in 3D, though yea I agree 3D wasn't really necessary actually. Gave me abit of a squint eye and I had to take it out a few times during the movie. So uncomfortable. I like Jake, though I thought he was a jerk in the beginning. Another instance of Zero to Hero :D :D I also liked his wife (can't spell her name, so shan't attempt). She's such an independent, brave woman! I admire her athletic skills and trim, slender body! Hahaha. The country's very green and nature-y, I like. Aside from all the action though, I think there's a greater significance to this movie. Like Pandora = Earth and the humans = us who wreck Mother Nature. Or Pandora = Eden, the humans = Sin. There're many ways of interpreting it actually. Kinda stopped me for awhile to think about it.

Really hope I can go back in March. I know la, I just came back and I want to go home again. I know there are people who are disapproving this but who cares? It's good for my emotional health and well-being, why do I have to care about what people say? Hello, Japan's longest holiday is probably 2 months max; compared to people in UK or Aussie, it's considered so uber short can. I just want to go back whenever I can, cannot meh? If I get to go back, my aim would be to spend lots of time with family because the last trip back they were nearly neglected ): But suddenly remembered I still have to settle some uni stuff - postage issues, soo it's still at a very unconfirmed stage.

Sad that I'll be missing so many 21st.

How it feels to be a popsicle.

Ever wondered how it feels like to live in a freezer? I do now! And it's going to get even colder from tomorrow onwards. Gonna hit below 0 degrees celsius soon. My heater is turned on almost 24/7 (except when I'm in school, where heater is free of course XD), I'm wrapped up like a bundle, I'm dreaming of the glorious sun. This morning when I woke up, I felt so homesick. Like, incredibly. The feeling was so bad. Firstly, because I was dreaming of people back home which made me realised I was back to reality when I woke up, and secondly, because it was so cold that I didn't want to wake up and I was dreaming of being back home in my warm bed. Nightfall is officially at 4.30pm. Sigh. Winter is hardly the season to get pumped up for, is it? So do give me permission to emo.

Kegan did the math and I was pleasantly informed that I can officially skip school for the whole term after tomorrow and still graduate. Theoretically. Whoo. But of course, I can't do that even if I wanted to. Nevertheless, it's still very comforting to know that my attendance is secured when I don't feel like going to school, feeling emo, don't want to wake up on a cold dreary morning, feeling anti-social, feeling homesick. But of course, this came with hard work. I had 100% attendance for the past 2 sems. See kids, perseverance do pay off. (Not always in this form though, don't learn the wrong thing from me xP)

Felt lousy today but looking at pictures of snow and planning trips in my head is helping me feel better. I really don't understand why I always evolve into this person even I myself hate when I'm here. I just feel anti-social all the time and fall into episodes of self-sympathy and -hate. I'm pathetic, aren't I. Heh, I know that myself.

My fridge is still unstocked ever since I came back 2 days ago. So I've been having sad dinners. Today's dinner was hot milo and an afterschool snack of fruits and nuts. Yesterday's was... oh, yesterday I was out so dinner was good - assam chicken, pumpkin scones, muffins and cold sesame spinach, courtesy of Gerald and his nice little cosy place! But I haven't eaten anything substantial today, not because I'm on a starvation diet (I told you, Eric, I won't be able to accomplish that so don't worry :P), but because it's pelting liquefied hailstones and it's too cold to go out to buy groceries. Tomorrow would have better weather and thus, better food I promise.

When someone asks you "How are you?", it's ironic that they would expect to want to hear positive replies like "Good" or "Okay", but never "Horribleiaminsuchahorridmoodthatiwanttoshutmyselfupandstaythere". The bottomline: when people ask you something generic like that, don't feed the person with your lifestory. But I think I'm one of those minorities who would love for replies to be something honest and heartfelt instead of a PC one like "Good". Not because I'm sadistic, or because I enjoy hearing people's lives crash and burn, but because I would love to have someone like that to burst out to without them freaking out or giving me the "Errrr, okayyyy" look. This randomly occurred to me as I was pondering on social behaviour just now.

I remembered I had something else random to say but I can't recall it now. Hmm. Words fail me when I need them most.

Really should travel around more instead of staying in my room typing senseless posts like this. Haha. I want to go to the countryside to unwind for abit. Getting abit stifled by the people and citylife. Deatheater was here to visit.

I'm sorry for this utterly long and silly post. Thanks for reading if you've had the patience to read till HERE.

Rah. I need a hug. For warmth. And for some love.

Two Oh One Oh.

Happy 2010, loves! (:

Awesomely glad I could spend New Year in Singapore with loved ones. 2009 was a year with new challenges and trials, 2010 will not have any lesser of them, but I pray it'll be a better one. Reflecting, I've been abundantly blessed in 2009 with love that I needed when I was feeling alone overseas. There were many ups and downs, but I'm still glad I've surpassed them, coming out triumphant.

Time has been passing by awfully fast recently. I'm now down to a little over 1 week left ): But I still have a million things I wanna do. It's making it even harder to go back to Winter Wonderland. Sometimes, I still can't reconcile the fact that I'm back in Singapore, and the more I can't reconcile the fact that I have to go back soon. I'm glad the distance didn't dilute any kinship or friendships; that we're all able to pick up from where we left off 9 months ago. This is why everything feels so surreal. The day I left seems just yesterday, the experience in Japan seems like a dream; I don't feel adequately settled in anywhere right now. I feel like a pilgrim - travelling along in this world, but not belonging to this world.

I can tell how much my parents miss me. I'm not trying to be bhb, but they've been spoiling me, and submitting to my whims and fancies because they keep thinking that I won't be able to eat this or that when I return. I feel sad just thinking that I have to leave them a 2nd time round. It will never get easier I suppose, farewells that is. I'm just supersuper thankful (will always be) to God for giving me this family. I really love them (:

This trip back has also enforced the bond with churchies. From the Malaysia Mission trip to Christmas celebration to PingPong Tournament cum BBQ, I feel like I've gotten to know them on a whole new level. I'm not someone who feels comfortable with large groups of people, but churchies is probably the only large group that I can feel comfortable with talking to, joking with. I will continually give thanks for this family of brothers and sisters in Christ. Thanks churchies, for your words of encouragement whenever I feel down and for all your love and concern. I will miss worship and especially fellowship in AGPC terribly when I'm back. It never fails to amaze me how our differences do not clash but only serves to complement one another. I'm feeling emotional typing this.

Eric D! (: Loved every minute that I spent with you! Thanks for picking me up, for buying the prepaid cards for me, for spoiling me, for loving me for me (even I have problems loving myself sometimes hahahaha), for always compromising, for sacrificing so much of your time and effort on me! LDR is definitely not easy but we just have to keep on trying to understand each other and leave the rest to God. ilu ((:

One nighter with the girls yesterday was super fun, though all of us turned zombies when morning swung by. We're really getting old! Haha to think we used to be able to not sleep for one whole day and still have the energy level to last through the next. This is another semi-large group that I'm able to feel comfortable in, thank God (: BBF, Sherhan, Melissa, Bixiu, Yi Fang. Missed Daphne, Jing Yi ("I wonder what Jing Yi is doing now?" Hahaha) and Ruixi ): P.S. the surprised looks of Sherhan and Melissa were classic! LOL too bad I didn't manage to tape it down hahahaha. Don't worry girls I don't think I'll pull off another surprise, but this one acheived its intended effect (though some people got wind of the word way before). SUCCESS! :D

I'm very proud that I'm still very much in touch with two of my primary school friends. They've been my longest, oldest friends and I'm very thankful for them (: While other people might have primary school class reunions all the time but I'm satisfied having two quality primary school friends that I can always hang out with. So proud of you guys! One's a budding lawyer and the other's a budding doctor :D Well, I guess the elite genes didn't rub off me but we all have different aims in life, so that's okay hahaha. Zi Ying, the ever happening and busybusy girl, Ruth the ever optimist and idealist. Thank God for you two.

Baking at ZiYing's house tomorrow and grandma's birthday party in the evening.

I haven't gotten the chance to be free ever since I got back but I'm really loving it - the busyness. 3 weeks is really too short to do everything I would like to, but it would have to suffice. There are still some people whom I haven't met up with but would love to. I wonder how they did it when they were only back for 2 weeks in summer.

Upcoming challenges in year 2010:

- another boring term (final, though!) of school to persevere through
- UNI =S
- moving issues
- having to readapt to a new environment and making new friends (this makes me wince just thinking about it)
- lose weightttt
- being a better friend

On an end note, here's the quote of 2009:

On coming home and seeing Eric seated on the floor with a luggage next to him,
Dad : Eh? You just came back from a holiday?? (As if it was such a duh thing for Eric to be seated on our living room floor)

Hahahahahaha. My dad is so cute, honestly :D

Belated, but ただいま!