The day we were.

Scratchy throat and throbbing headache - signs that I was falling sick. Temperature of 38.3degrees - even more obvious sign. Appetite loss - I know I'm sick.

The only thing I appreciate about falling sick is the appetite loss which leads to weight loss. At my current appetite, I can finish eating a cow and still go for dessert. Yes, it's that bad. And it's obvious from my pictures that I've put on quite abit of weight, I know ): Crap la. Must try to lose some weight before I go back! Or else I'll be facing alot of "Eh you grew fatter!" or "你胖了hor!" -______- But at least I'm not starving myself right? And 能吃是福! Haha I don't even know if I'm trying to convince myself or whoever's reading it. But please be kind with the comments. Being fat is never easy.

Not to mention I ate alot todayyyyy. My sinful indulges ):

Caramel with macademia nuts french pancake. Superduper yummy!



Close-up!

One big happy family. SO CUTE RIGHT!

Then Cold-Stoned with Jason. This is Sweet Berry Tea Cake. Acquired taste, but good all the same.

Jason!

Wa it feels sooo good to finally have a friend come over. Like I always say, it makes me feel closer to home! Thanks for the pineapple tarts (doesn't go with my diet plan, however), the treat for okonomiyaki and an extremely entertaining evening (: This is proof to all 3206-ers that we met up!

Good day, today, I'll say. Jadedness comes and go anytime it pleases. Hopefully it won't come to visit for a long time.

Disclaimer: I'm not always so emo. It's just my tendency to blog when I'm feeling sad/angsty that yielded that conclusion. So here's one happy post to break that belief!

Shoots. Broke my chain of sleeping at 10pm. 12.20am now. My bed beckons.

Nose blocked. My nose is running awayy.

Lovely night, all.

Stand by me.

Haven't felt this Jaded for weeks.

Want to take a break from people for awhile. But being in a dorm, that's impossible. Possibly fueling on Jadedness.

Just want to be with people I want to be with right now.

Maybe it's the exhaustion talking.

I'm exhausted beyond words.

From everything.

Nothing's wrong, don't worry.

Just saying.

감사합니다

You know how much I hate conflicts.

So glad I managed to ease this burden that has been on my back for so long.

It's true; honesty is the best policy. It's not some cliched primary-school phrase that everyone likes to use in their compositions. It really applies in real-life. It may hurt but as I mentioned in my previous post, honesty from a friend is something appreciated a hundred times over than hypocrisy from an enemy. I'd take the hurt anytime.

Thank you for this transcending peace that I've found in Truth and Your promise.

Thanks for those who listened, who gave advice, who was just there for me when I was going through a bump.

Every day, every day, I treasure you guys more and more.

(:

Twelve

Sorry for the lack of updates!

Ever since the trauma of EJU, I have since decided to forget about it until results day - 12/15. Crying about it will not make my grades any higher. I'll leave that to God. Therefore, I shall now focus on the upcoming DECEMBER and the million things that I have on my to-do list. Seriously, I don't know what will actually make me stick to my lists. I love making lists (I'm anal like that, which explains why I'm a Type A) but the ironic thing is that I do -not- follow them. Then, part of me gets so irritated with the other me that I didn't follow the list that I wrote up. Haha sounds like split personality!

This week had been busy. Busy with what, you ask. I don't know what also! I've been sleeping even later than before EJU. Currently watching BOF hahaha. And the weather has been perfect sleep-in weather. It's dropping to below 10degrees tomorrow onwards ): My nightmare. Fighting very hard to resist the temptation to pon school every now and then. It's really nottttt easy I tell you!

Plus, I really need to go on a diet. The cold is making me hungrier than ever and because of the same cold, it's making me miss my jogs. Too cold to jogggg. Can someone tell me how they manage to jog when it's like 5degrees outside?? Wear scarf and coat to jog ah?

Honestly, I'm starting to see how important it is to stay joyful even when your circumstances are anything but that. I haven't mastered it yet, but I just really hope I can see the light at the end of every tunnel I enter. I'm so tired of being sad. And the more tiring it is for people who hear me all depressed and sad everytime they talk to me.

I've a friend who had 2 friends around the same age pass away within this year. As he was lamenting about the pain and sorrow, I was once again reminded how short our life on this earth is. During service, the pastor said something about another pastor who passed away leaving a legacy behind. I'm not a pastor, but it set me thinking how my eulogy would sound like. I don't want something PC like "She was a nice girl, nice friend and she'll be dearly missed". That, interpreted, sounds like "She was nice enough but she didn't impact anyone's life enough to say anything more". Sadly, I think if I were to die now, my eulogy would probably sound like the PC one. Interpersonal relationships - I've never been good at them. I'm too permissive for my own good, that I don't let my personality shine through. I'm always going with what please everyone, not having a stand, not having any breakthrough ideas. Always the wallflower. Nice almost sounds like a bad word in this world. I'm still trying to sieve out what my strong points are. I don't have any blatant talents. Whatever talent God has given me is still buried inside, I suppose. My goal is to excavate that. Or if anyone would like to tell me what are my good points, please do. And don't give me PC answers. "Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses" (Proverbs 27:6)

Yawns it's 12.26am now. Listening to Corrinne May's Christmas album :D

Can't wait for Christmas <3>

Wonderwall.

Well, well.

They don't call it D-Day for nothing.

I would have loved to say that I think I did pretty well, but the truth is not anywhere near there, sadly ): I panicked during Jap, everything that I studied for for Japan and the world didn't come out + the questions that did were all pinpointing my weakness - geography, and Math! Arghhh couldn't even solve one full question!

I don't know how dead I am because the results are moderated and I wouldn't know how well/badly the cohort did. Exams are sadistic this way - they bank on others' weaknesses to pull your own grades up. I don't like how exams work.

I don't feel like drowning in sorrow, but neither do I feel like I deserve to kick back and relax..

)':

Sigh.

Disappointed and frustrated.

Say A Little Prayer For You.

Nostalgia at 12.30am.




The moment I wake up
Before I put on my makeup
I say a little prayer for you
While combing my hair, now,
And wondering what dress to wear, now,
I say a little prayer for you

Forever, forever, you'll stay in my heart
and I will love you
Forever, forever, we never will part
Oh, how I'll love you
Together, together, that's how it must be
To live without you
Would only be heartbreak for me.

I run for the bus, dear,
While riding I think of us, dear,
I say a little prayer for you.
At work I just take time
And all through my coffee break-time,
I say a little prayer for you.

Forever, forever, you'll stay in my heart
and I will love you
Forever, forever we never will part
Oh, how I'll love you
Together, together, that's how it must be
To live without you
Would only be heartbreak for me.

My darling believe me,
For me there is no one
But you.

Aretha Franklin - I Say A Little Prayer

This song is so sweet (:

Tinted Glass.

6 hours of studying + 6 hours of smoke-filled lungs = huge headache and a developing strong hatred for smoke.

I smell like smoke now.

Seriously, smoke stinks! Even sitting at the non-smoking area is no use. The smoke wafts over from the smoking-area which is just like 5metres away? They should really give a whole room to smokers and another for non-smokers PLUS a divider in between. I'm officially a second-hand smoker now.

I must have had 10cups of coffee today. Sitting in Mister Donut for 6 hours with free-flow of coffee is guilt-trip. I think I'm also developing an allergy to coffee-overload. Coffee is laxative, I think.

But besides all the above complaints, I'm proud of myself. -Pats self on back. Managed to study more than I had in the past week. I hope the information retains itself till my exams on Sunday is over!

5 more days =x

Everyone's busybusy with exams now. All the best, you guys (:

Having not a care in the world..
いいなあ・・・
そうなりたい。
何で大切にしているものをいつも奪われているの？
もう。
諦めようとすると、
神様は私を抱いてくれて、
愛してくれて、
そばにいてくれる。
いつも、いつも。
諦めないように。
心から感謝してる。

Just someone who loves me for me.
Is that too much to ask?
If your heart's not in it.