Ugly Duckling.

Ugly Duckling was black. He was the only black one among his siblings. Everyone teased him, saying he wasn't of the same family as his siblings. However, Ugly Duckling didn't listen. In his eyes, he was unique, he was special; he didn't see the need to be like his siblings to belong with them.

Yet, the pull of our herd instinct is undeniable. When you don't blend in with the crowd, you fade away into your own world, enclosed by insecurities and nothingness. Human beings are such ironic creatures - the desire to follow the crowd is so great, yet at the same time, the desire to stand out is even greater. So what happens then? You can't go with the flow and yet stand out at the same time, can you? Which path will you take, eventually? Sadly, I think many of us choose to go with the flow. But yet, those who choose to take the path less trodden tends to go off hinge and end up on the other side waaaaay far. How do we keep our balance? I always think that as long as I live my life staying true to myself and to God, the rest doesn't matter. Afterall, you don't want to compromise on your own personality just to please others.

I need to reflect upon this.

Reading BestFriend's blog made me so nostalgic. Old-School. Hmmm... the best times of my life was indeed during school (okay, I've been in school all my life - what am I talkin about?). Here's my list!

1. Polaroids
2. Time Capsule
3. Sweet Valley
4. Oreo-Twist
5. Dunking chocolate chip cookies in milk (yes, I love this too!!)
6. Pinafores With Low Slung Belts
7. Ben A1
8. Alarm Clock Radio
9. Doodling
10. Lists

One day I'm going to look back and really reminisce. They all seem like yester-year. We're all growing up so fast.

Stop, Time, stop.

Just for awhile.

No words needed.

Just memories that will last a lifetime.

Sprinkle of.

Good Midnight, all!

After walking half an hour in the crazy wind and rain, I feel as if I've been tracking through North Pole for a day.

Nah, I exaggerate.

Had a satisfying dinner of Korean barbeque but am feeling the aftereffects of it - guilt and regret. Hahaha, from all the fats and oil and money spent!

Funny how I always manage to save up quite abit and manage to blow what I've managed to scrimp on towards the end of the month. Grr, I need self-discipline.

Coffee on an empty stomach makes me sleepy and headache-y.

Bought fluffy bedroom slippers and socks because my heels are cracking from the constant exposure to wind and cold. Now my legs feel snug and comfy (: Shall indulge in soup for this week since I'm poor and fat, and it's cold.

Did a crazy thing spontaneously this morning. Decided just not to go for morning lessons. It doesn't sound out-of-the-world but it's something that I was adverse to doing before EJU because I'm anal about my attendance. It gives me a kick out of seeing the 100%.

Sadly, the weather and my mind took over and got the better of me this morning.

Say hi to 97% for this term.

I'm crazy.

I know.

Haven't been feeling like myself recently. I'm losing alot of who I used to be in Singapore here. I don't know if it's a good thing. The core shows more obviously when the outside gets chipped away more and more, doesn't it?

I may smile alot more over here, but whether if that is my true self, ask me not.

But sometimes, sometimes, it's so tiring.

* BestFriend! I got your long-awaited letter! I love it!! Thanks for the awesome recipes which I'm going to try after my exams! :D :D

Beauty in Joy.

I'm back from MIA-ing!

I was about to post an emo post yesterday night, when someone scolded me out of it.

That's right - I'm not a handicap; I can run, walk, eat, drink, smile, complain. Compared to the less fortunates, I'm probably a million more times blessed than them, and probably am feeling just a fraction of their pain and sorrow.

See, I was listening, okay!

Thank you, D. (: (:

And I'm super thankful for BestFriend who managed to make me feel better. You're overflowing with love! If there was one person who could understand my plight, it's probably you. As you said, it's a gift and a blessing to wonder. In times of trials, the gift to wonder is essential in taking you out of that place of suffering, into another world where you can heal and take refuge in (:

Who said the people next to you are always the best? Somehow, I relish in fellowship with people back home more than ever now. Distance, in my case, does make my heart grow fonder.

I don't know who has been praying for me, but thank you for your prayers. I feel like I'm striking a compromise with my senses now after a prolonged period of fighting with my inner demons.

I really had it with caring so much about what people think, how many friends I have.

I admit I'm not the most social person around, and I do struggle alot with meeting new people. I don't think I have the pull-factor to attract people to me, so I'm just thankful for people who have stuck by me even when I have nothing to offer them.

Quality over quantity anytime. As long as I have you, that's enough (:



Exams in 2 weeks! To be precise, 2 weeks 1 day. Haha I really can't wait for exams to be over! I don't know what exactly I'd do after that but at least I don't have to worry about feeling guilty if I don't study. So before that is made possible, the guilt is here to stay.

The weather is starting to turn cooler now. I know Singapore's still a sweltering 33degrees or so. Sometimes I wished it was warmer because my fingers always feel so numb and frozen, like popsicles. Growing up in Singapore probably made me more of a sun&beach girl, rather than the Winter Sonata girl. I don't know what I'm going to do in winter if I can't withstand this 10+ degrees. As I'm typing, my fingers and toes are starting to freeze up again although my windows are closed. I wasn't born in June for no reason.

Andandand, I've been thinking of converting my license so that I can drive in Japan! So exciting right! So next time if anyone comes over, we can go for a drive together! SO EXCITING! Japanese cars to equipped with GPS so you can't get that lost. Plus it's way cheaper to rent a car and split it among a few people rather than by public transport. SO ANYONE COMING TO JAPAN, PLEASE TELL ME! WE SHALL GO FOR A DRIVE :D:D I hope my parents allow me to drive in Japan.

ALSO! Who wants to go Taiwan/HongKong/China/Korea?? I'm thinking of paying a visit to my neighbours. You know, formality and courtesy calls. Lol.

The world seems so much more beautiful when you're cheery, doesn't it? (:

The Bell Jar - Protected

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Wake-up call.

2016 Olympics in Rio de Janeiro! First South American country to hold the Olympic Games! I don't know why I'm so excited about it, but probably because I see that the world is changing. Ever since Obama got elected as President of the United States of America, I've observed the world has been stepping forth in many never-before boundaries (or maybe I'm just a late observer). Well, but I'm no analyst; not like I know the significant impact of this move. Fell asleep before the voting took place, but I was more excited that I understood what's going on rather than what's actually going on hahahaha.

Whatever.

Happy Mid-Autumn Festival, y'all! I always thought it was called Mooncake Festival. Okay, that term does exist, but apparently it sounds silly because it sounds so noob! Sigh, another thing I realised after coming here - how noob I am ): I couldn't guess any 灯谜s! I was the only one okay! Talk about humiliation. But at least my salad was a hit. I guess if I'm not quite the Scholar, I can be the Cook.



Now I can't get to sleep because I overate..



I wish you'd stop saying you can't do it;
I wish you'd work harder;
I wish you'd have the need for urgency;
I wish you'd stop putting yourself down;
I wish you'd have more confidence in yourself;
I wish you'd have more confidence in the Creator;
I wish you'd not let people get to you so much;
I wish you'd stop comparing yourself to others;
I wish you'd put everything down and rush to the finishing line;
I wish you'd be less PMS-y;
I wish you'd just learn to be happy with what you have;
I wish you'd find joy in life;
I wish you'd overcome the exams.

Don't think I'll let you off so easily
Just because you have the same face,
The same name.
That's not me.
You're you,
I don't have to live your life,
Because I've mine to live.

Looking at the world through the glass.

I need a clearer view.