Freeze! That moment.

Inertiaaa

2012-01-27T12:38:00.003+09:00

The last I popped by this space was last year *eyes widen*. That feels really surreal. We are already in year 2012! Happy New Year, Happy Lunar New Year!

There is no CNY mood this year at all. Because there are no goodies to look forward to, no family reunions, no angbaos and no heat! These are the things I associate CNY with :P but at least I managed to have a reunion dinner with some friends at a Taiwanese restaurant. Did you know Yusheng was a Singaporean invention?? I didn't know that! I always thought it was a CNY thing... need to get out of my well once in awhile, I know D: But I bet not alot of people know that too.

So where have I been? Well, mostly in Japan. Got to sneak away for a week or so to Korea over the Christmas/New Year season. But that meant I had to work doubly hard for my finals because I played too much during the winter break (which is what I should be doing now). But, *points to title*, I am in no mood to do work at all. 3 papers down & 2 more to go! After that, I'll be moving to my new house (more like a room), then to Taiwan and then back to Singapore! Can't wait to be reunited with family and heat lol.

I apologize for this really boring post. I think I've lost my ability to write over the span of 3 years that I've been in Japan for ): I had an assignment which was to write a sequel to a science-fiction movie and when I look at my end product, I can't help but cringe. It's corny, doesn't have a climax and has all other elements that would put a director to shame. It's really really tough writing original screenplays/films. And my English has gone right out the window.

Ending abruptly here!

Impulse buys

2011-12-04T16:36:00.002+09:00

Will almost always leave you regretting.

I was "duped" into buying a TV today. Hahaha yes I know, not clothes but a TV!! Bet most of you would never even think of buying a TV with your own money! So anyway, the story goes that the TV looked good and the salesman fed me with information that made it seem so appealing. And he seemed so desperate to sell something - cue for 'motherly' instincts. So yes, I ended up buying a TV just like that. Am I stupid or what!! I read the reviews (another big no-no. yes it's common sense to not check out prices and reviews after you've bought something because chances are you'll find something that will disappoint you and make you want to strangle yourself.) and it wasn't as great as it seemed. I should have just bought the previous one I'd been researching on that cost only 2/3 of its price, ughhh.

The TV is arriving on Tuesday- hopefully I'll like it better than what I foresee it to be like. I better make myself like it or I'll end up kicking myself for the next 2 years.

Arggghhh @ that salesman.
This is why I hate entering shops with overenthusiastic ~~(& deceptive)~~ salesmen waiting to pry on girls with a soft heart -.-

Locked out,

2011-12-03T11:32:00.002+09:00

From your life.

I guess this is what I deserve.
For failing to be a friend.
):

The Whisper.

2011-11-13T17:22:00.008+09:00

The woman had been subjected to bleeding for 12 years. It was a disease that no one could fathom, not even the doctors could cure her. She had nothing left in her life now -- her earthly possessions were spent on fleeting hopes that she could forever be cured. Not only had she no possessions, she had no friends to speak of, because blood was considered unclean; a woman literally covered in blood was all the more abominable. She never felt so alone in her life. Just when all hope was gone from her life, she received news. Her heart caught in her throat. Could it be true? Not daring herself to expect too much, she went out into the street to catch a glimpse of the stranger from Nazareth. There he was. A crowd was gathered around him. The woman hesitated. What do you have to lose? He's your only hope. The woman took a step forward towards the crowd. The man was surrounded by the crowd. I could never get him to notice me, the woman thought to herself. What should I do? She followed the crowd quietly. If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed. Just then, there was an opening into the crowd. The man was in sight. She hurriedly stretched out her hand towards the man. Her hand brushed past his clothes. The woman could not believe it. Immediately, her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering. The joy in her was irrepressible. After 12 years, 12 years! Then, she heard a voice asking, "Who touched my clothes?" The man had stopped in his tracks, looking around the crowd. Her heart skipped a beat. He knew? The men beside him looked at the man in disbelief. "You see the people crowding against you and yet you can ask, 'Who touched me?'" The woman started to tremble. What would he say when he found out that an unclean woman had touched him? What would the crowd do to her? She wanted to slip out quietly, he would never know. But the man kept looking around to see who had done it. A rush of emotions went through her and she came and fell at his feet and told him the whole truth, trembling in fear. To her surprise, the man's expression was gentle and soft. He looked at her kindly and told her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering."

This is not just a story about how a woman got healed. The woman who was seen to be unclean, who was an outcast in her own community was being acknowledged and seen as a worthy person in the eyes of that stranger she didn't know before. But the stranger knew her. He was looking for her amidst the throng of people surrounding him.

It's a story of love and grace and mercy. When we feel tired, when we feel like there isn't any hope left in the world, we search. We search for something to fill that gaping hole in our hearts. But even so, we still feel empty. That's because we haven't been looking in the right place. Just like how the doctors couldn't cure the woman's illness after she'd spent her entire fortune seeking their help. Just a whisper, he hears you. You, standing far away from the attention, so lonely and helpless. He sees you, and he's looking for you. Only he knows what you're going through. And when you go to him, he'll tell you, "Child, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering."

Simple joy.

2011-10-22T20:54:00.011+09:00

I can't remember when was it that I fell in love with bread. But I can remember when I fell in love with bread-making. The satisfaction of eating the bread you made with your own hands is so great I can't put it in words. And of course, every batch that comes out are so different that it's just pure joy anticipating how it looks like when it comes out fresh from the oven.

My first loaf! I think I baked it on the day I got my BM.

My second attempt. This was really bad. I finished as much as I could but had to dump the rest. Don't ever add salted nuts when you're making bread. The saltiness of the nuts will kill the whole taste.

This was made from soymilk, so it turned out really fluffy and good! And it's one of the most presentable batch I've made so far (:

This was made just a 2 weeks ago, after I came back Singapore. It looks deceivingly dry but it's not. It stayed soft for the following few days.

Cheese buns! It smelled exactly like the ones my mum used to buy from bakeries. I never knew they were so easy to make! Yummy crusty cheese.

And today's batch....

Show you something cute (freaky?):

Haha. As I said, bread-making is really a joy. You never know what you're gonna get. Yes, I meant for it to be a face, but when I did it initially it turned out like just a lump of ball and three raisins. But after it rose abit, a mouth was made.

Today's batch! Tried making floss and raisin buns.

Breadmaking's REALLY addictive and therapeutic, somewhat. Recently, I've been baking every once a week. [But it's really not good for my diet.] It'll be awesome if I could work in a bakery and get to learn more about bread. I've always said I want to open a bakery but that'll cost too much money and I don't think my HB-ed breads deserve a pricetag yet. So my next alternative dream is to bake bread and cakes and whatsoever bakable for my family next time! The blog that I always go to get my recipes is by this stayhome mum-cum-baker, and she's always baking the most creative and yummiest things for her kids. I think any kid would love it if their houses smelled of freshly-baked flour eggs butter and sugar put together. I know I would.

Weather turned chilly all of a sudden three days ago. My body's still adjusting to the changing season. Caught a flu yesterday, felt abit feverish. My fever's gone now I think but my body's still aching a little. Got some work done today at least (though the bulk of the time was spent indulging in drama ><)

*Excited for December!!*

Quote of the day: "...if we don't have it, [it's because] we don't need it."

Romans 7:19-25

2011-10-12T00:10:00.001+09:00

"For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do - this I keep on doing." (v19)

:D

2011-10-07T21:44:00.002+09:00

My room smells delicious. It smells of bread! The very yeasty smell. Haha ok the yeasty smell doesn't smell yummy. But it will soon, when it starts baking. Can't wait! (: Will post pictures if it turns out well this time :D :D :D

Pointless update.

2011-10-04T21:18:00.011+09:00

I saw my dream car today! It's really tiny and really awesome (just like me right LOL. kidding :P). Too bad I didn't have the chance to take picture of it, I was too busy squinting at the logo and trying to make out the brand of it. I totally didn't recognise the brand though. So I was looking online aaaand I've decided my dream car is a Mini Cooper.

Isn't she gorgeous? But sadly (for me), I know in my heart she won't look good in green ):

Here's another beauty. I just love looking at her.

It looks like a waterbottle when you sling it! Apparently, she's the world's smallest and lightest camera. I really don't see how O.O The lens obviously weighs alot.. unless it's like a super duper light lens... which is impossible.But what I love about her is the lens! I think it looks so pro-looking and pretty! I obviously don't NEED another camera. Ever since the invention of the iPhone, I've been neglecting my Panasonic for greener pastures ): ...Well, not really. I think the camera still takes equally good pictures but it's just so much more convenient to bring one device out with a million functions and is no burden to the shoulders.

What's with my techy post, I have no idea. Actually it's not even considered techy, because I'm only looking at the appearances of these devices and not their functions. Lol I'm one of those girls who don't understand a thing about technology, so don't try to explain to me those techy jargons. You're just wasting your breath and time, I'm afraid. I'm so glad my brother makes up for what I lack :P

Went for my course briefing today and I think I might be quite free again this semester D: Note to self: do NOT spam modules to kill yourself. And my course only has 11 people! I met one today, and another one's from Singapore, so I already know two out of 11! Okay, minus me, I already know 2 out of 10. I just hope the rest of my coursemates are nice people. It's sad if I have to spend the next two years escaping from my coursemates in fear of awkwardness D: Met 2 profs today too and they seem nice enough. One's really chatty and funny, another one's quite jumpy and nervous-looking lol. Research room seems cosy enough. They even served us tea and cookies yknow! I like.

Before i flew back to Japan, I was watching cooking shows on a daily basis. My favourite channel is Food Network Asia atm. So i saw this recipe for Frittata and I decided to make it a few days back. Frittata is like an Italian cheesy omelette with all sorts of stuff in it (it's like okonomiyaki, whatever you like). The one I tried cooking was thyme with mushroom and pasta. I never knew Japan's supermarkets sold thyme! But it was obviously expensive. Plus stupid me just chopped up everything, leaves and stems and threw it in. I really don't think I was supposed to throw the stems in.. Got abit traumatic swallowing the stems. Just to cook that dish, I overspent on groceries by about 15dollars, after conversion D: Turned out kinda too dry cos I cut down on the eggs. The recipe actually called for 6 eggs! Like, who eats 6 eggs in a sitting??? But in the end I still had to use about 4, and it was split into two meals to cut down the guilt.

In times like these, especially after watching FNA you just wish you were staying in the US or UK. Their supermarkets are like so awesome for shopping. I was so envious when I visited Sainsbury in London last Spring. The amount of stuff they have in there is incredible. And the variety of BREAD. I was looking for sourdough bread today but I couldn't find it. I should totally live in some European countries where they eat bread and cheese and milk every day. I could live like that.

An utterly pointless entry.

Quote of the day: "Earth hath no sorrow that Heaven cannot heal." -Thomas Moore

Amen to that!! (:

Where is the love

2011-09-29T16:47:00.006+09:00

Hi guys, I'm back with another video to share!

You know how some artistes can be so inspiring? Some inspire through their lyrics, some through their way of life. This pair of twins is really inspiring and I love watching their vlogs cos of that. Not only do they have killer voices and looks, but their positivity & love for others are so infectious, I lovelovelove it.

PS: I don't understand how their obsession for Macs can do no harm to their figures. It's nearly maddening!

It might sound totally stupid to do something for a total stranger but hey, what better way to spread the love! Hoarding money, food, possessions for yourself ain't gonna make you happy. You just, y'know, grow fat & die fat, or become rich & die rich. And it's just silly little things like that that will bring a smile to someone's face. I know it would bring a smile to my face if someone did that for me, awww.

This makes me very tempted to do something for those unsuspecting Japanese lol.

Spread the love, y'all! (:

And.. it's time again.

2011-09-28T15:46:00.003+09:00

*dramatic sigh*

Someone just told me that "normal" life is Back-There.
So goodbye, "abnormal" Here-and-Now life.
I know I'll miss you for the next one year until I can return back to you.
You've been such an awesome companion for the last 2 months.
Although you got all the name-calling,
But I declare you the superior one;
Because you're the only one who provides me with concentrated & unconditional love.

I can never express myself properly at such times, so I'm sorry but you have to read through a whole bunch of nonsensical-sounding thought-process. This is the hardest part of coming home. So y'know, before you ask me why I'm trying hard to not come back till 1 year later, try to understand this dilemma.

2 months condensed:
1. Night cycling
2. First-ever AGPC "Running Man"
3. LC Attachment
4. Batam Trip
5. Bangkok Trip
6. MEBIG experience
7. Bridesmaid for cousin's wedding
8. Meet-ups

Lots of "First-times" this trip, but the most impactful one was probably being a bridesmaid. One thing that struck me was the sheer money, time & effort that goes into a wedding. I was so exhausted just doing the prep for the gatecrashing games and the random tasks during the wedding itself and I was only the bridesmaid. It's true that weddings are once a lifetime so people tend to splurge on it, but for me I think I'd be happy just having a small-scale church wedding. It'd be even better if marriages could be a hush-hush affair. I mean just get married in the presence of loved ones and not in front of the whole world and that obligated guest list. Weddings are probably the worst nightmares for people who hate to be in the limelight. I don't know why but weddings make me very tearful. Seeing the groom express his love to the bride is really touching, and even more so when parents cry during the couple's thank you speeches.

Having a last meetup in an hour's time.
Gonna miss the sun & the food.

Adios.

For the love of my life.

2011-09-05T17:41:00.003+09:00

I don't know who even reads my blog nowadays, haha. It's so overly neglected that I'd be surprised if I've any readers left at all!

The day I left for Japan seemed like just yesterday, when the fact is that it was actually yester-yesteryear. 2 and a half years have really gone by. All it did was to ruffle my hair with its speed, but I'm still standing at the same spot. I know I ought to take a step out, but I don't know how. Lord, teach me. Teach me to live it out. I'm doing this for You. This has been my prayer and it will remain to be.

COS is expanding at such a rapid rate that I'm just amazed by how much it has grown since our dear president stepped down some 2 years ago. From 3, we've now expanded to a strong 8! That's like a 175% increase! [I made that up. I have no idea how to calculate % increases :p] Looking at the 2 to-be-members makes me feel like I've come a long way. DJ voiced out his insecurities and how unwilling he is to put down everything he has here. When I heard that, I thought to myself that that sounded so familiar. Yes, that was exactly what I said when I had to leave. I heard myself telling him that it's only for 3 years, and that he would grow so much through this experience. I could have laughed if I were present as a 3rd party. The ironic phrase "Suffer to bless". I truly know what it means now. In so many ways, I thank God for the things he's put me through overseas. It's still not easy going back each time, but it just makes me appreciate everything even more. But, it's really too early for me to get sappy over this; I'm only half way through! Haha.

Attachment has been a wild experience. Too little, too much. All I have to say is: thank God I'm not graduating any time soon yet. He's really humorous. All my complaints about 5 years being too long went unheard for a reason. Thank You, Daddy God. You really know best. Amen (:

And thank You for Sem 3 results. For watching over me through the nights of insomnia, the frustration while studying and the overwhelming homesickness. You really don't put your kid through suffering for nothing. I honestly couldn't have done it without You. Help me to shine like stars and be the light & salt of this world.

2-phrases-update.

2011-08-22T22:53:00.003+09:00

I'm a horrible keeper of friendships, I know that.
I hate it when FB reminds me :(

I'm settling in too comfortably again.
It'll be painful when it's time to leave.

Almost 2 weeks into my attachment.
Work's really tiring, 'nuff said.

AGPC Running Man was a blast.
The adrenaline rush made me feel alive.

Baa

2011-07-22T22:16:00.002+09:00

EXAAAAAAAMS.

I felt really close to my breaking point yesterday, after a sleepless night and just looking at the amount of things I have to memorise. Really want to puke blood. I've been reading the same thing over and over for the past 2 days but the words are not sticking in my mind. Yes Grace, I'm working with words but those are jargons that might as well be alien words to me! Oh God, please bring me through this exam period. I don't remember being this stressed out the past 2 semesters. It's a really big test of patience and faith. But the good news is that it WILL be over. I have that promise to look forward to!

I can choose to be bitter about alot of things, but I'm choosing the other way out. There's no point in making myself upset over things like exams. So I choose to thank God for the perfect studying weather the past 2 days (thanks to the rumoured typhoon, the past 2 days have stayed at a constant temperature of mid-20. really thankful because before that the weather was at an average of 33degrees and above and was literally painful), thank God for the support I've gotten from people around me, thank God for giving me about a week or so to study for my heavy-content papers (it beats having like, 2 days), and thank God for His Promise that He'll never forsake me! "When something gets you down, look up to Jesus" :D

So I've mentioned a couple of times about my insomnia. Yesterday night was really bad. I was exhausted from everything, mentally and physically, but my body wouldn't give me a break. On Tuesday I'd purchased a drink to sleep better because I've been having insomnia for quite a long time. I was planning to drink it on Wednesday night (Tuesday night was really a SLEEPLESS NIGHT. I only went to bed at 6am, which isn't even night at all) but somehow I managed to fall asleep on Wednesday night so I didn't drink. But yesterday night, I did. The effect was so scary, I tell you. It makes you even drowsier than the normal drowsy medicine. After about 30mins when the effect kicked in, I was still awake but I could feel the drowsiness. That was a really bad feeling. I felt so sick. And somehow I drifted to sleep. The next morning when I woke up I still felt really drowsy and lethargic. And I've been feeling abit sick for the whole day, abit like when you get a slight fever. No way am I gonna try any sleeping products again. Maybe melatonin, but nothing else. I felt so much better when I was having insomnia, ironically.

I still can't believe my mom asked me to count sheep lol. And the more I can't believe that I actually tried it. Hahaha but it didn't work for me la. I kept picturing Mr Bean counting sheep and him dropping off to sleep in an instant in his dramatic way.

Sigh. Hopefully tonight would be more promising.

30, 240 minutes and counting.

2011-07-09T20:45:00.002+09:00

Haven't updated this space in forever. I can't believe about a month has passed by just like that since my last entry. Nothing much had been happening, except for the usual. But at this point, I'm excited to say that I'll be back in Singapore exactly 3 weeks from now! 21 days! 504 hours! 30,240 minutes! Yeah okay, you get the point of how excited I am to go home :D Summer has been here to stay since 2 weeks back and oh gosh how I hate summers in Japan. I almost forgot how bad it is, after the gruelling winter. I don't know if it's the weather, but I've been suffering from a long-drawn insomnia for the past few weeks. It's not consecutive la, but it's bad enough. Just two days ago I had breakfast at 3.30am, and went to sleep at 6am then waking up at 8.30 for an appointment. This is not the first time something like that has happened. It's really a wonder I'm still up and walking. The little mercies from God! My body's really craving for a long deep sleep. Why do I have a phobia of doing the thing that 99% of the people in this world have too much of?? The thought of sleeping for 12 hours is no longer possible to me. I'm so afraid of the nights now. Cannot... my exams are coming soon already. If this goes on, my brain will shutdown. Will try to go to sleep at 9.30pm tonight. Maybe my body's really greedy - it goes on a strike and refuses to go to sleep if I sleep after 12. But little does it know that it's hurting noone but itself. And maybe Mr Brain, who has been hurting since yesterday afternoon.

But nevermind that. Today's a really BIG day. It's the holy union of my two dearest churchies! Really bummed out I couldn't be there to witness the whole thing but I'm really glad I haven't been left out of the loop! CONGRATULATIONS!! May God bless them and their future together as husband and wife (:

Exam week starting next week. All the languages coming up first. Really torn about Greek. Should I drop it or should I just go for the exam. Both will end up with an ugly grade but at least if I go for it, I can say I tried. It never pays to be OVERambitious. *sighs loudly.

Have been craving for my mom's homecooked food recently. So sick of the food I've been cooking. I just want to go home and have a table full of food I love (which is practically everything), and with lots of love and warmth from my family after a hard day at school. Wish I could time-travel and fast forward to three weeks later. And I crave Pandan Cake and Angkukueh. Yes, I know. AGAIN. I don't know why I always crave for this two items. And DIMSUM.

I better go. It's 25mins to my battle.

Life's too short for _____________________.

2011-06-03T18:15:00.011+09:00

What would your answer be?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

On a bright note, it's turning warmer over here :D I love the current weather right now - neither is it too cold that I have to wrap myself up like a dumpling and store blubber to fight the cold, nor is it too hot that my makeup smudges and my face turn oily like a kitchen roll towel dipped in oil. Lol vivid imagery :P

I had something I wanted to blog about yesterday but I've forgotten it. Kids, this is why you shouldn't procrastinate. It's bad for your mental health because it gives you unnecessary stress from squeezing your brain juices too hard to remember what you have forgotten. And not to mention dangerous. Like how I forgot to register myself as an overseas voter and lost my voting right which I've been waiting my whole life to exercise. The original consquences was that I lost the chance to make a possible change in my constituency + have to pay $50 to get my name back in the voter's list for the next election. BUT thank God that now they have revised that law and now I can put my name back on that list for FREE! Hm okay, I'm not getting my point across very well, am I? Well.. it's dangerous because.. OH I thought of one. I'm supposed to register my major on my school's portal site by a certain deadline. If I miss that deadline, I won't be able to move up to Year 3 and will thus have my scholarship retracted. There. THAT'S dangerous, you have to admit! But I've already registered it, so Procrastination is not triumphant this time round.

Haha I'm full of nonsense I know. So what have I been up to? Let's see.

Oh yes, we had our own DIY Takoyaki Party!

Our product!

Not bad right? Got standard one, okay :P

We tried putting funny things inside like chocolate. It wasn't awful, but it didn't exactly go really well with the Takoyaki. On the other hand, cheese goes really well with everything.

And my school had a festival last weekend. These are some decoration stuff for one of my circles that I'm involved in. We set up this book cafe selling second-hand books and some beverages like coffee and tea. One of the girls used to work in Starbucks so she knew some recipes. Of course we didn't have the machinery required. But who knew that making an Iced Cocoa or Cafe Au Lait was that simple! I learnt much. Ah I wanna work in Starbucks ):

Oh, I must mention the decorations. The one on the left was done by a girl from Indonesia from scratch. That was free hand drawing okay! Awesome or what? It looks printed lah. Awesome stuff. There's really a diversity of talents within Christ's Body (: And! The one on the right. Looks cutesy and all right? Heh I just randomly googled for some ideas to make for the bare walls and found this banner website. I merely gave this picture to a couple of Year 1 BOYS and both of them worked on it and produced that. I'm impressed, seriously. Noone would have thought guys would be capable of that. Or have I been underestimating them? :P Being a senior rocks, you can throw work at juniors hahaha. No la, I had other stuff to do so I just gave them that to work on. Turned out well I'd say. If it were left to me, I don't have the confidence to say I'd do such a good job.

And then, the other circle that I'm involved in sold Toppoki, the Korean Spicy Rice cakes. It's made by Koreans, so it's the REAL stuff. Omg it was so good. Unortunately, the weather wasn't good during the festival so we didn't sell as much as we wished. And we ordered alot more ingredients than what we sold D: So we have like 2 boxes of Tok (Rice Cakes) - equivalent to about 6 commercial batches or something, boxes of other ingredients, and about 13 litres of Makkori (Korean Rice Wine). Gee. Haha but the miraculous thing is that we made a profit! Not much, but it's really something to give thanks for, considering the amount of food we have left and the bad sales due to the bad weather. So tomorrow, we're having a party to 'celebrate' and guess what are we having at the party? Toppoki. Lol, yes more Toppoki to -attempt- to finish up the leftovers. Impossible. If we did, I think everyone at the partry wouldn't want to eat Toppoki for the rest of our lives.. Nah, maybe for the next few months for me. I love rice cakes/mochi, basically anything Carbs :9

And yes, I've been more adventurous recently. I've started to explore around my school campus for good places to eat with a friend. So far we've conquered a grand total of... two restaurants. Lol. Well, it's a start.

This is at this Atas-looking French restaurant on my school campus. I've always wanted to try it and I can finally say I did! It has a really nice ambience (will be even nicer at night), and the food was well.. French. (Read: Small portions) Haha, the one that I had was some fish with pea mash sauce. Or something like that. Not too bad! I would go back for their other dishes.

This is at a really awesome restaurant serving Japanese dishes. It looks very home-cooked. But it's precisely home-cooked food that's really the best! The one I had was sauteed chicken, eggplant and mushroom. YUM.

Okay, this one is not one of our conquests, but it was recommended by a senior. We went to this burger place because a friend whom I met in my first year here in Japan (who's by the way American-Taiwanese) had this burger craving. I got to say this burger place is really good. Like the best burger I've eaten in Japan. Okay.. I haven't really eaten many burgers in Japan, only Macs. But really, the volume is there. Although in America, the size of burgers is probably 3 times of that o.O I want to go America!!!!!

The sky's all dark now. TGIF! Had a super hectic and stressful week. I'm so glad it's come to an end. It's another battle again next week, but I'll just use this weekend to recharge. Need it so badly.

Oh, drama recommendation: Miss Ripley. A recommendation from Deborah. It's really good! It's only up to Episode 2, still can catch up! (:

Hmm.. and I've been reading lots of blogs recently. Like all the famous bloggers. Don't think I should name them here in case my blog comes up when someone keys in their names. It's really interesting... having blogging as a job. I think it might be one of the best jobs ever. You get paid for writing! So shiok can. But I know la, when it becomes a job, maybe I'll think it's a drag. Everything that becomes a job becomes a chore. But... to be paid to write!! I think that'd be my dream job. I love writing nonsense on my blog. If I had the resources and events to write about, I'm sure it'd be great fun. Haha.

Yeah I should stop dreaming.

Time for a bath and dinner!

Ta~

Unexciting.

2011-05-05T20:12:00.003+09:00

Hate staying in my room for the whole day. I do nothing but eat and eat and eat arghh. So much for dieting for my cousin's wedding!

Tried making mantous today and it was a huge failure. I don't know why I don't work well with yeast at all. My bread doesn't poof up at all and it's always so dense. How do I go about making fluffy bread?? Ended throwing half of it away. The other half was of course eaten by me because I feel like I'm wasting it if I throw it all away ): Unnecessary calories!! Sigh.

Feeling fat.

I wish I could curb my appetite. Isn't there some pill for that? Haha, just kidding. No way am I popping pills just to lose weight.

Mmm and it's back to school tomorrow again. In a way I should love school because I'm taking almost all language modules this sem, and learning languages is what I love. But at the same time, this sem feels like it's everywhere. I feel like I'm not learning much, that I've not been doing much even. Every day I go to school for about 3hours worth of lessons and come back and it's dark already. In the day I wake up late-ish and putter about preparing brunch and then before I know it I have to leave for school. What's this life I'm living? It's so pointless = have to find some way to make it more meaningful maaaan.

Back to Chinese translation now.

GE

2011-05-04T13:13:00.007+09:00

I just finished watching this video. They are too cute teehee. I'm addicted to their vids! Haha. In case you don't know them, here's some bg info: twins, roots from Korea but brought up in Aussie, really interesting accent, is fluent in English and Korean, awesome vocals and talents, passionate about music and Christ, pretty! Go watch their videos, you'll know what I'm talking about. See, I'm not biased. When I see people (regardless of gender) that I think are cute, I'll praise them to the skies. So don't ever say I only go gaga over guys. I'm fair like that :P

So I'm bumming in front of the computer, exhausted from all the travelling. Just came back this morning and I've already done my laundry, gone grocery-shopping and unpacked my luggage. Efficient or not?? Haha. So give me a moment to catch my breath. I can't not admit that I really feel old.

Anyway, I'll let the pictures do the talking.

The terrifying roller coaster. The drop looks gentle but I tell you it's not. Any kinds of roller coasters are okay to me except for steep drops (which is the very reason for why people like them). I cannot take plunges like that. My heart cannot tahan.

Oh this was another ride that went unexpectedly high. And is one of the only few rides which I find scarier on the second ride than the first HAHA. There is a inconsistency in the seats (two of them look like they're going to bang into each other) because the machine actually swings you in and out all of a sudden. But the con was that it left me dizzy and abit nauseous at the end of it.

And I went tea-leaves picking too!

Hurh, it was pretty fun. But I'm such an inefficient worker. Or I should say I'm too careful a worker. I think we were supposed to pick the leaves indiscriminately but I ended up picking my leaves carefully so I didn't get much ): I was second-bottom I think. Asuka had the least cos she said she's not a tea-person, and she wouldn't know what to do with so much tea leaves anyway hahaha.

This is tororo - grated yam. It's really sticky and you put it over your rice. Yummy :9 but apparently it's not something that everyone likes. Like Natto, maybe. Am I too Japanized or am I just too much of a rubbish bin? I seem to be able to eat almost anything and everything.

We were staying in a hotel booked by my Japanese host mother because she said her house was too messy for both of us to stay haha. Apparently work has been super busy that she hasn't had time to clean the house up lol.

And then on the last night we drove to Shizuoka and stayed over at Asuka's apartment! Her apartment's really lovely. I wish I could have such a nice one next year. I'm already thinking of ideas of how to decorate my room.

The breakfast she cooked for us!! The sweet potato was SO good.

So now it's back to reality. Homework awaits aghh. Sian ah.

And Polling Day is this Saturday! Too bad I can't take advantage of my voting rights now that I'm officially allowed to vote cos I registered too late. ): But it's a good thing I suppose. The biggest reason I don't want to vote is simply because I haven't been following the news =x I've never been one to follow election news or political news, no matter which country I'm in. It's too much of a chore =x But I'm not politically empathetic! ...Or at least I hope not. I still care about who's running the country and all.

And I was reading XX's blog and she wrote a whole chunk about PAP vs opposition. Well I have to agree with alot of what she said. For people who always want change, it's a good thing. But to criticise the current goverment and point out nothing but their bad points is going too much off the mark. If you're able to stand here today, with a fairly stable income and a roof over your heads, and most importantly even have the time and intelligence and the ability to criticise the government, who do you think you owe them to? If we've been living in a corrupted country, do you think we're able to achieve No. 1 in so many aspects in the world? Think about how small Singapore is. For its name to even spread far and wide says something about our government. For us to be on the rankings with other mega countries says even more about their capabilities.

Yes I seriously do think that Singaporeans really have to stop being too pragmatic and start being thankful for the things we have in our lives, instead of always wishing that we had more and better. So lots of people think that we have a despotic government. That our government is nothing but just a family business. Hello, if the next generation has what it takes then what's wrong with passing the duty on the them? It's not like it's a case of where the capable father has no choice but to hand over his business to his useless and good-for-nothing son. Both Lees have shown how capable they are of running the country. So Singaporeans especially have to stop going around telling other people that our country is run by the Lee clan. It is theoretically true, but the nuance behind that sentence is so misguided and misunderstood.

And my mom once said that during election period, everyone's talking about how they want change and they wish that the opposition will win so that there can be a change in the Singapore government. But, the main thing is that: they wish for the opposition to win in any constituency but their own. Ha ironic or not? Talk so much but end up voting for PAP because they are afraid of negative changes which will affect them. What does this mean? To a certain(great) extent, Singaporeans are still aware that PAP has been and is the one giving them the life that they are satiated with.

No I'm not asking Singaporeans to always vote for the same party election after election; I think having good opposition is very important too, to give PAP a run for their money and to help them improve. It's a fact of life that when you have a worthy opponent, you'll work doubly hard to be even better. But voting for the opposition just to show your lackof support for the PAP is just stupid. It's like saying, oh I'm buying the Android just because I hate the iPhone. It doesn't make any sense.

One thing that I agree with XX 100% is about how much MM Lee has done for Singapore. Even with the recent death of his beloved wife he's still going strong at 88 and still aspires to do things for the country. Hey, just stop and think about it for awhile okay: he has been developing and contributing and essentially raising Singapore up for more than 40 years, ever since our dark Msia period. What gives you the right to say that he doesn't deserve doing all he can to prevent the opposition from taking Singapore away from him? Singapore is his life, he's been running it for almost his whole life. Of course he's going to be possessive about handing it over to a bunch of people who might not know Singapore inside out the way he does?? Just think of handing your kid over to someone else after you've been taking care of him for more than 30 years. Tell me you'll have no resistance at all?

I just hope Singaporeans will think carefully before voting.

Ah I'm really tired now.

Expository on Joy HAHA.

2011-04-26T00:51:00.007+09:00

Saw a beautiful pink-hued sunset this evening.

I didn't take that of course. But the shade of pink was exactly the same!

Sunrises/sets make me really happy because I see the work of God in this world.
If I weren't so lazy, I should make a resolution to sleep early and wake up early to catch the morning sunrise while on a morning stroll.
Mmm sounds pretty healthy and good.
I've been full of resolutions lately.
Okay, not lately, just last night.
Ahaha, but it's always good to be driven.

Even though new year's passed, I made a list of things I should complete this year.

1) Travel more. Like, explore new areas. (Nothing big-scale. Yet. I'm starting small. 2) Be more courageous to step out of my comfort zone.
3) Turn Loneliness to Loveliness. (Now that I just typed it, I realise it's only a difference of one letter!)
4) Be nicer to myself and to people.
5) Stop complaining so much.

Just last weekend I fell sick. Sick in many ways. Sick physically, sick for my mom's fussing over me, sick for homecooked food, sick of life, sick of the pain, sick of loneliness. As I laid in bed, all I could think of was home. In times of sickness, the thing you want most is love. Although I went to bed at 8pm, I couldn't get to sleep till 12-ish. So meanwhile, I switched on John MacArthur's sermon. Best way to kill self-pity. And he hit me with this sentence:

The measure of a person's spiritual character, measure of
spiritual strength, and spiritual maturity is what it takes to steal their joy.

Wow. Strong words. It hit home with me because, as people who know me well enough, it takes so little for someone or something to steal my joy. It's gone within minutes, it can even be stolen in seconds. I'm sick of living like that. Sick of the joyful spurts that never last. Why should joy be based on our circumstances? Is our joy reliant on popularity, on money, on friends, on how good life is currently, on the good food we get to eat every day? Ask yourself this: What if all that you're happy about now is taken away from you? Would you still be able to retain your joy? If your answer is no, then oops sorry to tell you but that's not real joy.

Now you're saying, there's no such thing as real joy. Joy is about having fun and enjoying the moment. I thought so too. But it comes to a saturation point when you realise that you're just so sick of the ups and downs of life. Yes, shit happens. So what say you to having access to the joy that you can have in you forever even when shit happens? I honestly crave for a joy like that. I'm so tired of being manipulated by this world. Yeah so maybe I don't have many true friends, maybe I'm not rich. But so what? Paul wrote the happiest epistles when he was in prison. He knew not to fix his eyes on this world and materialism. Instead, he fixed them on the One who is the source of the everlasting joy and happiness.

Ah~ How I long for that joy. So I don't have to feel sad when noone cares enough to ask a simple "How are you?" when I'm having a rough day, so I don't have to feel lonely when people are surrounded with friends and I'm not, so I don't have to let the world tell me what I should think and act, so I don't have to question why I didn't reap what I sowed. Many times I ask myself why am I putting in so much effort into frienships with people who don't give a damn about me. Then I realised, because He did. Because He loved me when I didn't even know who He was yet. Because He loved me when I didn't want to love Him back. Because He loves me even though I'm so unlovable. We love because He first loved us. Now I truly understand what that means. It's nice to have a friend who will stand by you through thick and thin unconditionally, who will stand by you even though you don't talk to him often or you only talk to him when you need some love.

Forget all the inspirational books on happiness. We don't need them. Just look deep into yourself and ask yourself those questions. Joy is from internal, not external.

Lord, help my forgetful self to remember this!

Mushroom Cheese Omnomnom

2011-04-17T11:12:00.002+09:00

Having my lunch of Mushroom Cheese Omelette - my three favourite things in the world; this makes me hapy (: Wanted to attempt making MeeChiamKueh but it was too much of a bother and I don't have some ingredients. Since my last trip back to Singapore, I don't know why I've been having a constant craving for it. The one at Tampines is gooood.

So as some of you know, I've been going through a hard decision recently. And although I haven't made up my mind 100% yet, but I think I've made my decision: Not worth the trouble and time >< I hope I don't regret this decision. Well God, if you want me to do otherwise, please speak to my heart or let something happen that'll make it impossible to do otherwise (Nothing too extreme though!! Safety for everyone in everything!).

School this semester has just started. Planning to pack it with lots of language modules. It's the only semester out of my 4 years that I can do stuff I want so why not. Spanish seems fun but intimidating because of all the level-up people in my class although the class is supposed to be for beginners (@*^#), Arabic seems SO hard omg, Taiwanese seems useful - hopefully I can brush up my hokkien at the same time, and Greek is just plain interesting. Hopefully I'll be able to read the Bible in Greek next time :D Chinese is still a pain, lots of translation work to be done. I don't know why the teachers I've had so far are so obssessed over translation -_- Quit my CCAs but I think I'm happier this way, so no regrets. Wish to relearn the guitar and piano. Do more sports. Yeah, that's my plan for this semester. Oh and I hope they really cut short this semester so that they'll be able to avoid having to switch on the AC during summer to save electricity! Ganbare Japan!

And earthquakes have been happening pretty often recently. There was a period of time where earthquakes happened consecutively for three mornings; it served as a very good alarm, I'd say. Yesterday, another earthquake happened noon-ish. THAT was scary. The way it shook was different, and it was bigger than anything else I've experienced. I wonder when the aftershocks will stop. Another mag 8 one is said to happen soon. Oh gee.. >< God save Japan and us.

Missing London and Singapore ):

No Ifs.

2011-03-31T19:27:00.004+09:00

Waiting for the twist that never came.

That's the feeling I had when I finished reading Murakami Haruki's "Norwegian Wood". I was expecting for a bigger twist of event but it never came. I hated the ending. The way it turned out was merely disgusting. I'm sorry, I can't find a better word. But one thing that always strikes me when I read his books is that the characters are so complicatedly weird. Their way of thinking (or should I say, his?) is so disturbing.

I remember asking a friend who's a big fan of MH's books, "So what's the message he's sending out to his readers in his books? Cos I can't seem to get his point." This was what he answered: "Nothing. His books don't have a point. There's simply nothing to get."

Hmm.. I'm not sure I can agree with him on that.

Digressing. There's another meeting with M again tomorrow. I wonder what else can be said during the meeting. I'm honestly quite split regarding the outcome. If I don't get to go back, I'll, in all honesty, feel very lost. Like I worked so hard for 2 years and it turned out naught. And despite all the negative feelings, a part of me will definitely miss my life in Japan. I feel like a totally different character when I'm over there, and when I'm over here. The 2 years have allowed me to grow up - even for just a bit. But if I do have to go back as according to plan, I do have my reservations about the whole situation over there. I still can't grasp what exactly is happening because different medias are saying different things. And my friends back there are also painting such a rosy and positive picture you wouldn't think that anything big like that has happened if you were there. The whole radiation thing does freak me out, not to mention the power shortages and speculations of what might happen in the near future...

Ah. I don't know, I don't want to know. I'm happy I can't see into the future. I'm glad there are things in this world we can't and won't know, because some things are just too heavy for us to bear. I wouldn't want to know I'd die in Japan if I went back. Cos if I did, what would I do? It'd be too late to rewrite my life, to relive my life, to make up for everything that I've done wrong, right? It's like having someone come up to you saying, "You only have 24hours to live." And what would you do, then? Eat all you want? Play all you want? Do the things you never dared to? Then what? Would that do anything at all?

Haha, sorry for being awfully morbid.

Have been sick for the past 2 days. Seems like I always fall sick when I come back to Singapore. But that's a good thing! If I fall sick in Japan, there wouldn't be my mummy to take care of me ): So yeah, thank You, Daddy God for letting me fall sick here! Haha. But I'm already recovering, although I was sleepless for most part of the night yesterday. Felt super uncomfortable. It's amazing I feel normal right now.

Oh my Japanese is so rusty now. I'm worried about survival (in the language way) when I go back. Oh, and I just realised 3 weddings will take place this year! So sad I'll only get to go for one. But I'm going to be bridesmaid to my cousin! Haha I remember someone saying that a bridemaid's job is ultimately saikang. Bride's Maid. Geddit geddit? I don't know what's the actual job scope, but I picture holding up the train of the bride's gown, giving the groom a hard time, perhaps helping out with the reception? I'm not too big on this kinda thing actually (I know I'm a girl, but don't ask me why) but for the sake of my cousin!

I'm craving for a thunderstorm and a pile of good books next to me right now.
Ah, the life of a too-free girl like me.
Haha but don't envy me.
My free time will end all-too-soon and your holiday will start.

Hang on, hang tight (;

Lunner or Dinch?

2011-03-24T15:12:00.005+09:00

So I just had Brunch. What's next? Lunner? Dinch? The orders of meal play a big part in the word-forming, doesn't it? I remember telling Grace that lunch comes before dinner so it should be Lunner. But she insisted that Dinch sounds better. That, I agree. Although Brunch = breakfast + lunch (according to order right??), so technically the next meal should be Lunner. But Dinch ftw, lol.

And I found B&J in my freezer! Super excited. I haven't had it for like 1 year already. Can you believe I didn't have any in London?? Too much food to eat, no space for B&J. It's Cherry Garcia though. Not a fan of cherry-flavoured ice cream, but better than nothing!

Sorry, I digressed. Food should be the last on my list. My schedule for the next semester is out. And I've to start choosing modules again! The same butterfles-in-my-tummy feeling is welling up. I don't know why but I always get very nervous at the beginning of a new semester. Although it's been one year already but I still feel like I'm not used to the system at all. And the modules seem to be daunting obstacles all over again every single semester. Nah, I'll never get used to it. Plus I hate the feeling of having to be a senior class to juniors. Call me weird, but I much prefer to be the baby of the family/pack everywhere I go. I was brought up in an environment where I was nearly almost the youngest. I can't imagine being a good senior to any juniors out there, much less in Japan. Nervous much. I wonder what the new semester might bring. Must remember God's grace is enough! He has already brought me through 2 harrowing semesters!

Meeting with M tomorrow. I can't believe anyone would think that they'd stop our studies in Japan because of the earthquake. Yes, possibly for the Year 0s, but for those who have been there for at least a year and more, the chances of them calling us back is zilch. Anyway, on this topic, the level of radiation in Tokyo is now much debatable. I seem to be reading reports pertaining to the same issue, but seemingly different at the same time. Some medias report this, others that. What's the truth?? I heard my dorm's water is contaminated. A friend who was due to return today freaked out by this news and is contemplating on flying to her second home for a while. I wonder how are we going to bathe. Where are we going to get veggies and fruits from? Gotta be careful of the manufacturer. Sigh, I feel so sad for Japan. Especially the affected areas. Heard that another Mag 6 earthquake hit them again yesterday.. Thinking about the people over there fighting so hard to survive puts me in shame that I'm even worried about food and water. Yes, those are necessities in life, but what about them? Don't they need those necessities too? And it makes it even worse that that's where their lives are at. For us, we can always flee home and seek shelter, but for them, they don't have any place else to go. Contaminated water? They gotta drink.

Writing about this, it brings to mind a verse I was reading this morning: "Life is more than food, the body more than clothes." We've been worrying about the slightest thing for our whole lives. What's food if you have no life? What are clothes if you have no body to put them on?

A discussion we had once during ISS@K. We always question God "Why me?!" when disaster befalls. But why is it that noone asks "Why me?!" when we've been blessed with something? Do we think we're worthy of blessings and not curses? Why is it that I can have a car but she can't? Why is it that I can have a happy family but he can't? We need more people to ask such questions instead of, "Why is it that he can have that and I can't?" or Why is it that he gets to go to UK to study and I can't? It's not fair!"

I don't know about you, but I think I've been such a spoiled brat - being never thankful, always grumbling. This is something that I have to reflect on every single day. For the rest of my life.

My blog posts have been getting heavier and heavier of late. Haha, I have no idea why too. Just had alot of time on hand to mull over Life's issues. Meeting the girls for Thai food tomorrow! Can't wait (:

Mind jigsaw.

2011-03-19T08:38:00.003+09:00

Taoyuan International Airport なう.

Just sent the girls off on their flight and I'm waiting for mine in the evening. Long wait ahead. Not that it's all that bad - I get to have talk to myself and reflect on life. Thanks Chae Huah and Grace for lending me their books to pass the time. Thank God for my laptop. And thank God for the past 4 weeks! So many things have happened, so many things to give thanks for.

1. Limin in London
2. Smooth trip to Europe
3. Safety during the camp-out @ Narita
4. The girls arriving safely in Japan
5. Snow and Sakuras within two days! (story for later)
6. (very very mild) Earthquake experience
7. Safe flight to Taiwan
8. Meeting up with Deborah
9. Letting us escape the quake in Japan narrowly (by about a few hours)
10. God for being so full of grace and mercy and love towards us

That's pretty much my last 4 weeks in a nutshell. I don't think anyone reading this can see the spectacularism of all this unless they've shared my experience. The most amazing experience was probably the experiencing of snow (Winter) and seeing cherry blossoms in full bloom (Spring) over a span of 2 days. I kid you not. I thought it was a joke when Grace said in passing that it might snow when they come over; and I thought it a bigger joke when she casually-jokingly commented that we might see Sakuras the next day right after we witnessed snow. God is so humorous. Don't ever say never, man. That's my biggest takeout from this whole experience. The power of prayer is so real it'll scare you if you're not prepared. for it. People, be very careful of what you pray for!

And about the very talked-about quake. One happened in Honshu which sent tremors to the buildings in Tokyo 3 hours after we left Tokyo. And when the big quake happened, we were in Osaka, where we experienced a dizzying, slight tremor while we were in the aquarium. And that was all. God kept us safe throughout. If we'd left Tokyo a day or two later, or had decided to venture up north, or if the quake had hit Osaka instead of Tokyo... I don't know what would have become of us. But to quote Betsie Ten Boom: 'In God's kingdom, there are no ifs'.

And thank God for the people who cared to ask me if I'm okay!

I'll be back in Singapore for 2 weeks unless there's a change in situation that calls for any postponement or delays. Having a meeting with M on the 25th to discuss about this issue at hand. I don't understand how some people think. I don't understand how I think. I don't understand how I'm supposed to think. Gosh. Sometimes I think I'm such a self-centred b****. But while I'm back, I just wanna spend as much time with the people I love. It's really funny how things all worked out in the end. Whoever wants to know the full story, ask me. It's nothing as mind-blowing as snow and cherry blossoms in two days, but it's still humbling enough for me.

I wanna reflect on my life and rethink about it. I wanna live my life to the fullest and in a more meaningful way. Life's way too short. Think carefully about the figures reported by the media rising daily like stocks. You'll see that they're not just numbers. Those are lives which used to be flesh and bones, like us. How do you want your legacy to be like? I'm in no position to berate anyone on that topic. I don't have any rights; I've been wasting my life away for the past 21 years in many aspects.

New semester starting soon. Time to think about a change. Time to live a life bearing fruit. Time to wake up and be useful. Time to be a fisher of Man.

Thank God for my results. It's not fabulous, but enough to put a smile on my face and thank God from the bottom of my heart. I didn't deserve any of that - but His grace is certainly enough for me. And certainly, for you too.

God bless Japan.

Long night

2011-03-05T01:28:00.005+09:00

The lull after traveling is setting in again. Why I don't see Tokyo as my home yet is still a mystery after 2 years. Instead all I felt as I walked through the airport was that I'm a small girl in the big world. Yeah, Japan always has that effect on me.) So I'm sitting in a corner of Narita Airport with a bunch of fellow hardcores, waiting out the long night. Except, our purposes differ. Theirs is to depart tomorrow morning, while mines to await an arrival tomorrow morning. But whatever, I'm really happy I don't have to make the long ride home myself this time (: really glad the girls are coming over in a few hours time!!

Oh yes, so how's London, you ask? It was lovely, really. Love the people, the scenery, the architecture and the experiences I've had! Much thanks to a certain person whom I've greatly inconvenienced throughout my stay-losing out on sleep on the first day cos she slept on the floor, feeding me (I don't think I felt any remote hunger pangs while I was there!), walking (a few) subway stops just to help me save money, exhausting herself out to bring me around London, and alas, shes the reason I could completely experience London. Completed the touristy stuff and the not so touristy stuff too. Europe trip was fab too. Freezing cold, but the companion, food and experience are uncomplainable (one of my made-up words again :P). Yeah so this pretty much explains the lull I'm feeling now. But complain not! Yes, yes.

After all the traveling I would really like to do something but I'm in a dilemma now if I should go ahead with it. Part of the reason involves a certain running away from a certain reality, but basically I'd just really like to run away from reality and recharge a 100% before the new sem begins. Hrmm I'm always giving myself hard decisions to make eh. The time will come when you'll know the result of this dilemma.

Sorry no pictures yet. The memory card is maxed out. Can't wait to fill it up with awesome pictures of Japan (rediscovered) and Taiwan (:

Thank You, Lord for keeping me during London. Pray that you'll continue to keep us the next two weeks too and bless us with an awesome awesome time of fellowship and bonding! (:

Love.

PS: results coming out on 18th March. Nervous much!!

Halfway round the world!

2011-02-15T21:08:00.007+09:00

Happy Belated Vday!

So I went out on a date yesterday.

My date for vday!

No we didn't plan the outing because it was Valentine's Day. It just happened. I still think Vday is a overcommercialised day in the year, another marketing strategy. But it's not to say I'm against Vday, I just think this day is overhyped up. But I still enjoyed the gift exchange back in SN - girls' school tradition :D and both of us lived up to the spirit of SN. I gave her chocolates and she gave me home-made apple-cinammon cookies.

She sure did dress up for the ocassion!

This was really really good. I love the softness and fluffyness of the skin! I think we ate like 3 baskets of this, and Onyee tried to challenge a 4th but it was pure torture towards the end =x

We were really full at the end of it. And both of us had a headache while on the train back to Shibuya. I never knew food could be so lethal!

The temperature has dropped significantly over the week. It's been pretty snowy.. okay like 3 times. Yesterday, it started out being sunny -> cloudy -> rain -> hail -> snow. Like, wow. We were walking with our umbrellas when we suddenly realised it was raining solid, not liquid anymore. Bad weather for shopping, but I'm glad I managed to find a pair of shoes! Found it after 3 hours of shopping. Love the colours (:

Somehow after the exams, I didn't have any free days to just chill at home so I had to pack my luggage and spring clean my room for the girls when they come in March. Exhausted now. Was contemplating on not sleeping for the whole night to adjust to the time over there and to make sure I don't wake up late or anything. But I think I have to sleep. My eyes are willing me to. Hope I don't miss the flight tmr! Hope London and Europe will be an awesome experience :D I'm fretting about alot of things because it's the first to a country so far away! But okay, I'll learn how to be cool. Limin has been doing all the planning and she's also going to pick me up from the airport. I feel like such a lousy host compared to her =x Hope I won't be a nuisance to her and her housemates!

Crap, there's still packing to be done. See you when I see you!

Fridayyyyy

2011-01-21T23:22:00.003+09:00

I can't concentrate when I'm my room, seriously -.- My book has been opened at the same page for the past hour, and I'm getting nowhere - no thanks to the computer. But since it's already almost 2330 here, I'll just end my day with a blogpost. My blog is going stale!

The tuition kid I'm taking now is really... unpredictable. She can be diabetically-sweet at one moment and the next moment she's sulking like a pickle. Today I was doing a wordsearch puzzle with her and at every word, she'll ask me if I've found the word already. Sorry I'm the type who can't and won't lie to kids, so I replied very honestly. And this went on for awhile before she went very quiet and held the worksheet up, covering her face, not before saying "Don't look!" She remained that way for like 5mins, before I figured out she was angry. (But at one point of time, she giggled) Then I decided to ask her.

Me: What are you angry about???
Kid: Don't you know!!
Me: If you don't tell me, how am I supposed to know??
Kid: ... (sets the paper down on the table and mumbles) You keep saying you found it you found it...
Me: ............................

So I have it in me to offend kids without even trying.

How am I supposed to teach next time?

Then, the next moment she was back to her bubbly self again, giggling and hugging me and attempting to tickle me.

Oh, please teach me how to read kids' minds.

And my university professors are the sweetest. Like really really. Especially those profs who realised that I'm a foreigner, they'd apologise for example for not allowing me to use the dictionary in the exam, or that they're sorry that their lessons were too difficult. Which other university's professors do that??? Haha and the biggest gift of today was when one of my professors told the whole class that he's really sorry for the difficult content of the lesson and that he thinks we won't be able to write a report on it, so he wants us to just choose a book we like and write about it. And he'll give us the credit for it. Like, WHAT? That was such a relief. I was so afraid that I wouldn't be able to pass that class. Hehe, God works in amazing ways (: But I'm also amazed that the professors in Todai are that modest and nice and affable. (: (: (:

And I've been eating less recently, proud of me anot? Haha but partly because I need to save money for London, Kansai and Taiwan! These trips are my motivation to conquer the exams. Can't wait for February to come alreadyyyyyy. And -M- hasn't reimbursed me for my school fees!! And neither have they updated me about my attachment...

Deep breath.

CNY is just around the corner. I have 2 tests on 初一, 恭喜发财 to me! And I'm really craving for the dimsum buffet in Yokohama. Craving for 叉烧包(香港式），萝卜糕，叉烧酥，猪肠粉.... Am I making anyone hungry? Or am I just making myself hungry? Hahaha.

Sleep! Practice tomorrow =/

Allergic to caffeine.

2011-01-13T22:46:00.003+09:00

So the story continues..

The tart level is down to one round..

Talk about self-discipline.

And as a result of drinking two cups of coffee yesterday, I was insomniac for the whole night yesterday.

My body's craving for some good sleep.

Thank God there's no school tomorrow! Though I have to wake up early for tuition.
But no school is good news!

And, and it was freezing cold today. I was shivering throughout my last two periods. My neck muscles are aching because of it now. I don't understand why the classrooms are SO COLD. Even with the heater on, it's still so cold.

Don't understand Japan at all.. in summer, the aircon's turned up so high that it's almost as hot as outside. In winter, the heater is barely enough to warm up the room. -_-

Will try sleeping with the heater on today so that I don't get stuck in bed because of the cold tomorrow morning. I've decided not to care about the amount of money I will be spending on the heater anymore. My health/life is more important than money.

Sleepy.

Goodnight, everyone.

@Grace: Hahaha is peanut butter that cheap in Aussie! If you wanna send me tarts, you'd have to send me a whole carton, alongside with all the new year goodies y'know! HAHA kidding :P Thanks for the offer though! (:

Bite-size

2011-01-10T18:39:00.004+09:00

That'd be me if I were a food item :D

Bite-sized snacks are especially addictive for some reason, because it's deceptively small and beckons you to keep popping them into your mouths. D:

Just got my parcel from my mom!! Full of yummylicious stuff in it :D :D :D

The moment I set eyes on the pineapple tarts, I couldn't resist opening it and eating (alot) of them. You know how tarts like that are normally arranged in a circular manner around the circumference of the container right? I have this super weird and bad habit of telling myself that I'll eat until one complete round is finished. And then: "Okay lah, two rounds." And sometimes, that's how my 1 round is multiplied exponentially. But proud to say I had self discipline today (after having about 3 rounds). Hey, at least I didn't finish everything at one go! And I'm so happy my mom sent me the Skippy Peanut Butter! Now, peanut butter is one of my favourite things in the world (besides cheese maybe), but it has to be so ridiculously expensive in Japan! One small container of about say 250g~300g costs about S$6+. Ridiculous or not? It's a luxury item -_-

On a sadder note, the parcel reminded me that I won't be able to be back in Singapore for CNY ): Sigh, my first CNY away from family.. I'll miss reunion dinner and the feasting of new year goodies and the gatherings with my cousins and just about the very act of being with my family. No number of new year goodies can replace that.

Hmm.. writing that has made me whimsical. On a brighter note, was sharing with churchies yesterday about New Year resolutions and I said that I want to be more positive this year. I'm not sure to what extent I'll be able to fulfill that, but at least when there's an aim, there might be results. Yeah.. to be positive and happy would be nice for a change in 2011.

I'm super thankful for the people God has put in my life. Friends drift in and out of our lives, but those who stick around are the true friends whom I know I can trust and rely upon. Thank YOU, if you're one of those friends who've stuck around long enough through my ups and downs :D

>Can't believe I'm already at a marriageable age. Friends of my age are getting married! It's kinda surreal because I'm still in my first year of university. Marriage seems.. such a grown-up and faraway thing to broach. But yes, we are all turning 22, '89 babies!

Sorry, I know this post is like everywhere. My thoughts are runaway trains right now, random thoughts are popping into my head from all directions. Gotta start focusing! Exams in about 3 weeks' time and I don't feel ready at all for anything. Focus focus focussssssss.

If you've read through all my ramblings till here, wowgeethanks!

For now, Goodbye.

Late than never.

2011-01-05T12:09:00.004+09:00

Happy Belated New Year to all of you out there in the world!

So, in the blink of an eye, it's already 2011. There's really something called a Time Warp isn't there? Where did the past few months go! Well, from the last I blogged, I've had a 包汤圆 session, a Christmas Party, overnight karaoke, another ski trip and winter holidays. I'm still having holidays, till this Friday.

It's abit late and pointless, but my reflections for 2010:

Had some new experiences, ie moving house, riding a bike in Japan, entering university, learning Korean, going to Korea, frolicking in snow, went for a baseball match, going to Kansai, learning to snowboard, learnt tennis, and my first NY away from home and loved ones, iPhone 4.

That's my 2010 in a nutshell.

It hasn't been a bad year. It's been mostly good, mainly because God has kept me and my family safe and healthy. Even for the downs, I'm glad I overcame them and now I've new experiences to share with people who might need my advice/help in those situations! So yeah, thank God!

Whenever we come to the end of another year, there's really not much to do but to thank God for the past year. If it had been a really bad year, then you have all the more reasons to be thankful because you got through them and that they're now the Past. If it's good, then.. all's good isn't it.

Mmm.. restless restless restless.

Will stop here because my brain refuses to generate something to write.

I want to eat Pandan Cake

2010-12-20T22:05:00.010+09:00

Finally done with my presentations and speeches for this year. Two more to go next year, hurray. =/

It's turning really chilly.

Hi, winter. How I love you for appealing to my brain to send neutron signals to my stomach more often than before and for increasing my appetite. And thanks for the cold, biting wind that just beckons me to go exercise amidst it all. Gee. My mom reminded me how envious I was last time when I thought of those wintry country, "like 24 hours of aircon." I take back those words. Yes, it's nice when youre all snuggled up in bed, or in a warm room, or if you have a kodatsu or a warm carpet. But when you're outside battling the wind and not being able to feel your face after that, I don't think you'd like it very much. But the weather's getting really erratic. The summers are getting hotter by the year, while the winters are getting colder by the year. England's supposedly having a serious snowfall/snowstorm(?) right now. I hope everyone in England's doing okay! It's no joke to be stuck outside without proper heating.

Speaking of which, winter=snow. Snow=skiing/snowboarding.

The snow slope. The ice condition wasn't great on that day. There wasn't enough snow, and patches of grass were actually peeking out. Didn't manage to take the slope at the higher altitude. Now that's a real slope. But it was super scary. Took like an hour just to get down it. Haha.

With my board. The scenery behind me was cut off by the ahem photographer. I was supposed to showcase the scenery, but without it I look so pointless with my arms widespread.

My favourite shot!!! This was taken from the higher altitude. The scenery was breathtaking, and the cold was bone-chilling.

We were supposed to ski/board for 2 days but being a complete amateur, I fell down so many times that my tailbone and arm were aching so badly. So I decided not to board the next day. I wasn't alone in that decision. So a bunch of us girls went to a place called Jigokudani (Hell's valley) where it's well-known for onsen-soaking monkeys. Good life ah, they!

This is a super classic shot. You can see how much the old monkey is enjoying this!! Hahaha.

I took lots of monkey shots, but won't upload all of them here. If you guys are interested in looking at monkeys, go to my facebook album. They're all there (:

Met On Yee for dinner on Friday. We were gonna challenge ourselves to the supposed Japan's No. 1 spiciest ramen place. In the end, we both didn't eat the spiciest one lah. That would have been suicide for the stomach. On Yee took a level 5 and I tried the level 7. Thank goodness mine was tsukemen (you dip the noodles in the soup), or else I probably wouldn't have finished it. The soup was oily, and I wanted to vomit everything out when I was done with it. But I enjoyed the noodles and the large amount of veggies in it!

See, I don't eat like a bird okay. The portion was really humongous. I'm amazed I actually could force myself to finish it. But they're really generous with the ingredients man!

Whoever loves ramen + spicy food, this is the place for you! I know Eric would love it (:

And then, we decided to cool ourselves down with icecream. The best way to stop your mouth from burning after spicy food is to drink milk! And guess what ice cream contains plenty of?? (Hahaha yesyes, we were just looking for excuses.)

Left: Salty Butter Biscuit. Right: Pumpkin. (Both Hagen Daaz!)

*Pumpkin was really good, although it might sound disgusting!

Oh yes, here are the muffins that Lili and I baked as a trial for the Christmas Party this Friday. They're made from rice flour, instead of normal flour. It tastes kinda different, but the amazing thing is that it actually tasted better overnight! But the chunky chocolate was sooo good :D

Get through school!!

I went to school today, Grace! (:

Goodbye, good night world!

NODNOL!

2010-12-08T20:39:00.003+09:00

Can't wait to get the two presentations over and done with tomorrow! No matter how many times I'm made to do presentations, I really don't think I can get used to standing in front of a whole lot of people. How am I supposed to face my future students, I don't know. Especially if they're from R or H. And another speech again next week and in January. I don't know why I bother to count down. There will be more awaiting me from now onwards. =/ Hope I get to burn off some calories from the shaking tomorrow.

Just paid for my ticket to London!! Really excited! I've been wanting to go to UK/US for the longest time :D I just hope nothing screws up and that I'll have a good awesome 2 weeks there! Limin: ごめんね、お世話になります! But I feel super broke now D:

Alrightey, back to work!

T_T

2010-12-01T11:59:00.005+09:00

Did it again. Skipped school today. I've really been exhausted for the past two weeks ever since overnight karaoke (i think). I know it's noone's fault but mine, and it just reminds me over and over again about what my mom once said about not being able to make up for lost sleep when we skip a night's sleep. Either that or I'm getting old. And the cold weather is making my eyes dry so they get tired easily too ): But yes, no excuses. Well, but at least today's my slackest day (only two periods) if it makes anything (or anyone, ie me) better.

Winter is really here. I feel it, especially at night. In the day, indoors actually feel colder than outdoors, because of the sunlight. And my room is hardly insulated. So I suffer constantly from cold limbs. Summer makes it easier for us to get out because there is always the incentive to go out and enjoy aircon somewhere else. In winter, you just wanna curl up and hibernate. Tokyo hasn't started snowing yet -it might not even, who knows. The weather's so warped nowadays. I don't know what are the chances of us having a White Christmas. I haven't had one before so it'd be nice.

Sigh. Think I've been letting a lot of people down recently. It doesn't feel good. It doesn't feel right. =/ Missing home so much. Wish it needn't be that long before I get to be home again ):

Shall grocery-shop my misery away.

Edit: It's already December!!! My favourite month with my favourite celebration ((:

P/S: Who made Christmas red-and-green??

No grills, just frills

2010-11-22T11:25:00.006+09:00

Pitter-patter, pitter-patter.
Peering out of the window,
Nose pressed up against the glass.
Tears are falling from the sky,
But it's still bright blue I wonder why.
Pitter-patter, pitter-patter.
The storms of life-
Take no notice;
They come and go.
Just
Like
That
.

What a morning. Got home a few hours before, at 5.30am after a 5 hour Karaoke marathon. It was probably bad timing afterall to have gone yesterday, with us having scheduled something in today, leaving us bleary-eyed for the rest of the day. Even now, my head is still in lag-mode after 4 hours of sleep. They call it Age, I'm sure.

But we all need to do a little crazy something every now and then.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

"We take the laughter and the tears however they come, and let our God of reality make sense of it all."
-Susan Lenzkes

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

When life deals you a difficult hand, it's so good to know that Someone's in charge of your life and is taking over the wheel for you. If the keys were handed over to me, I think my life would be a wreck by now. Everyone thinks they can get on with life by themselves, but the question is "How strong are we really?" If I can be at the steering wheel 365/24/7, then I'll drive through the Journey of Life by myself. But I know I'm weak, and I need sleep. So it's always good to know that I'm being chauffeured around, or at least have Someone to hand over the steering wheel too in times of exhaustion.

Been thinking alot about everything. Why the emptiness after a day's of activity, why the hollow in my eyes when I'm with company, why the ache for something more when I have everything. Relationships are such brittle brittle things. You wrap them up in bubble wrap, so that you'll find them in perfect condition, just the way they were, at the end of the day. But when it takes a harsh fall, the wrap may not prove to be enough after all. All you can do is pray that the cracks aren't proportionate to the distance from the ground when it was dropped.

Off to watch Harry Potter!

The sky is a perfect clear blue right now (:

Lord, take over the wheel.

Shoutouts:
Anonymouso - Hi, do I know you? Thanks for your encouraging comments anyhows! (:
Zhiying - Hey girl! Long time no talk! Hope you're coping well with your exams and all the best to you (:
Eric - You jiayou too for your exams okay! A few more days and it'll all be over (:
Grace - I can't help but feel so happy for you (and churchies) that you're going home so soon! Will pray for you for everything you're feeling. Trust (:
Cheryn - Hello my dear! Glad to see you're all recovered now! All the best for your exams~ (:

Love,

Which is worse?

2010-11-19T13:02:00.004+09:00

Going for lessons with your heart anywhere but there.

Not going for lessons but reflecting on what you have done, and promising yourself to work harder on your attitude next time.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I don't know how I can be so nonchalant in my previous entry about how I'm not in the mood to study anymore. Because that's cause for alarm. My job right now, is to be a student. If I can't do my current job right, what makes me think I can do a good job on my future one? But recently I've had a slight panic attack about the future. Yesyes, my future is in moulding the future generation's future, but that's precisely it. If I'm still such a kid at heart, skipping classes when I feel (or don't feel) like it, am I qualified to be a teacher? And my Jap is starting to go down the slippery slope. I can just feel it being washed away from me. I don't feel qualified to be teaching those kids when I myself am as much of a stranger to the language as them.

I need to get right with my attitude again. And apologise to Daddy God for being such a brat. Next week, no more ponning, no more slacking off with work. The short-term goal I'll be running towards to is the winter break.

Laziness is a disease.

But it's curable.

Fight the Good Fight; Run the Good Race!

Meep

2010-11-19T11:21:00.005+09:00

How my day started with shocking news.

Still can't get over it.

Never mind, don't ask. Ignorance is bliss.

5 things that are always in my fridge

1. Eggs

2. Bread spread (butter, jam etc)

3. Milk (recently I've developed quite the crush)

4. Fruits (thanks to my mum's upbringing ^^)

5. Cheese

I don't know what can be inferred from the things in my fridge but I've always wanted to do this list, and I would be interested in people's fridges too! It can say alot about a person's eating habits and lifestyle. So people reading this, you're tagged!

4 more weeks to winter break I can't believe how fast time is passing!!! Yesterday still felt like the day I flew from home and was homesick to my stomach and missing the people and food and weather. 7 weeks have passed just like that. I don't know if it's a good thing that I'm looking forward to the days passing by more than I am enjoying the passing days. But heck la, there are really so many things to look forward to in December and next year! I haven't been in study mode since a few weeks back already, honestly speaking (people having exams, please press on! Your december/winter holidays are coming up soooon! :D)

Things to look forward to (in chronological order):

1) Overnight Karaoke

2) Asuka and family coming up to Tokyo for a visit

3) Singaporean Lunch Reception (yummy Singaporean food again!)

4) Ski trip

5) CHRISTMAS

6)Japan tour?

7) London trip to visit Limin (hopefully. please tell me a good time to come visit you!)

8) Churchies coming to Japan + Taiwan trip!

So glad I only have one mid-term test. Because I really don't have the motivation to study anymore D: too many things distracting me.

And it's the release of Harry Potter today!! (:

Happy Halloween! (Warning: Image-Heavy!!)

2010-10-29T22:57:00.018+09:00

So Halloween's this Sunday. Not that I celebrate or care for it very much, but apparently it's pretty hyped up in Japan (surprisingly) and I'm all in the mood for a pumpkin pie already. Here's one house who had an elaborate Halloween set-up display.

Awesome right? It looks pretty cool at night, with the glowing pumpkin faces with the orangey hue. But at the same time, it does look kinda freaky too.

Here's a Halloween goodie bag my friend gave to me. So sweet right! (:

There, singled out JackO'.

They are made really exquisitely but the taste is yet to be reviewed. But I really doubt it that something that pretty can actually be yummy.

Ohoh, last weekend was the commencement of TIFF (Tokyo Internation Film Festival) and I was there to witness the green carpet! I bothered going at all because I thought 阮经天 was going to be striding down that green carpet. But due to some political issues, the Chinese were not allowed to ): So in the end, I didn't recognize anyone who walked the Green Carpet ):

The long stretch of Green Carpet. Look at the crowd!!

An actress (?) signing autographs. They all look suuuuper elegant I tell you. The fans at my area were really crazy, shrieking so loud for the big shots to come over to sign for them. And thanks to them, we were able to take close-up shots of them (;

Sorry, but I really don't know his name ): If anyone has any idea who he is, please enlighten me. He looks a little like Rupert Grint.

Onyee's on exchange in Japan! Will be here till next year July, yay (:

I absolutely have to show you this shot. Hahahahaha. This bunch of high-class ladies, having some sort of exclusive party at "Georgia" came out with their champagne glasses and all, gawking at the action taking place ^^ It was pretty funny actually, but ah, it's innate that all of us have a curiosity streak in us hee.

Onyee took many shots for me of the celebrities but I'm too lazy to post all of them up. Most of them are producers/directors, methinks. Sorry, didn't do my homework before showing up ><

//Random Bit.

Here's my dinner for the past 2 days.

Tomato Egg Soup + Sweet Potato. Lovelovelove Sweet Potato and they are in season now yeaheyyyy :D And Stri-fried Veggie, mushrroms and taukwa.

And I decided to reward myself one day (forgot what for) and this is what I bought:

YEAH, AWESOME RIGHT. IT'S SO YUMMY ITELLYOU! LOOK AT THE AMOUNT OF COOKIES!!! :D

Not sure if they have this flavour in Singapore, but aiyah, Singapore already has B&J's! 'Nuff said!

Anywaaays, will be leaving for Shinshu tomorrow for a 2 days 1 night school trip. Hope it'll be fun!

PS: There's news that the typhoon will hit Japan tomorrow =x

PPS: Keep the good fight and good Faith, Charmine!

Ladder Theory

2010-10-27T15:42:00.006+09:00

I remember a while back when 3 Singaporeans were back from Japan for the Summer Holiday. They met up with another Singaporean who had been to Japan on an exchange program the previous summer for dinner. Then, somehow the conversation turned to whether platonic friendships were even possible. From my POV, I think it is, though I can't deny that some people do make friends for a -specific- purpose, or want something more than friendship. But I believe that a man and woman can hang out together, perfectly neutral with each other. And the "Ladder Theory" was introduced into the conversation.

What's the "Ladder Theory"?

I'm not sure how many people have heard of this "theory". I went to read up on it for my debate on exactly the same above-mentioned topic for my Japanese class tomorrow (hip, huh). To summarize, girls have two ladders- the 'Friend Ladder' and the 'Good Ladder' (there's many alternative names for the latter ladder) while guys have one ladder - the 'Sex Ladder'. I remember vaguely about an assembly we had back in AJC where we were discussing about the differences between males and females. The speaker showed a diagram of the respective brains, and the guy's one was like 90% filled with sex.

Moving on about the ladders. Girls have two ladders, because when they meet a new guy, they will tend to judge whether the guy is "date-able" material or just friends material. So if he's date-worthy, he automatically goes onto the "Good Ladder", otherwise he goes to the "Friend Ladder". It's important to note that the two ladders never intersect, they are parallel to each other, meaning that a guy can hardly jump ladders from the "Friend Ladder" to the "Good Ladder" without incurring the risk of falling into the Abyss. It stands true the other way too. Yes, there's an Abyss at the bottom of all ladders, where people just fade into strangerhood. And vice versa; so Exes can hardly ever stay friends for long. On the other hand, guys judge girls mainly by looks, all the way from "This girl is not my cup of tea at all! (runs away)" to "Ooooh I'd like to date [insert whatever positive verbs here] this girl (eyebrow twitch)". And the ladder evidently has different rankings, as represented by the rungs. So the girl who's not his cup of tea is either thrown into the Abyss or is not too far off from the Abyss while the desirable one is obviously high up in the rungs.

Note: Substituted the word.

As you can see, since there's only one ladder for guys, there's no such thing as jumping ladders, or the "Friend Ladder", thus suggesting that guys only have one, and only one, motive when they befriend a girl.

Personal Analysis

I personally do not fully concur with this theory because, as I said earlier, I still believe in platonic friendships. Okay, so there might be a few sparks here and there, but still, those sparks will not ignite a fire. Plus, you have to actively like someone in order for you to stay friends with that someone. You're obviously not going to befriend someone whom you hate with your guts. So sometimes, that feeling of Like might be misintepreted as something else just because the other party shares different genetic make-up from you. If you're straight, isn't it normal that you get attracted to the opposite gender for many reasons? And the term "attracted" here can mean a lot of things, not only limited to romantic love. There's still admiration and respect.

Plus, I believe that friends can become lovers and vice versa, it's not mutually exclusive.

Conclusion

I think the Ladder Theory probably only applies to/was come up by people who have been victims of painful relationships/have not been in a relationship the right way. But to give it the benefit of the doubt, I do think there're elements of truth in it, but only to a certain extent. We shouldn't see society or the system as a one dimensional thing. It's way more complicated than we could ever give it credit for. Yes, we might be able to come up with random theories to appeal to the majority and get a consensus, but that's where you're belittling society. Each individual has his/her own unique way of thinking/solving things. There may be similarities, but you won't be able to find two people who share exactly the same sentiments all the time. For example, if you look at the analysis on Blood Types. In Japan, they are really into that. For Blood Type A, they are said to be methodical, or Blood Type AB to be weird/unique. But you don't expect 100% of all BT A to be methodical, do you? If 90% are, it doesn't count for the last 10% still you know. The same goes for horoscope. If it says that, "Today you're going to meet the man of your dreams", you think all the girls under that horoscope really will? Such theories are only there to appeal to the masses and give them a sort of manual to follow in their lives, which is sad if you think about it. It becomes a superstition, a stronghold over you.

What do you guys think? It actually makes a pretty interesting topic, so do tell me what you think if you have a differing opinion (:

Oh, and there's an interestin BBC quiz about the differences between how a guy thinks and how a girls thinks. Take the test and find out your real brain gender! Heh. http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/sex/index_chooselogin.shtml

Zap.

2010-10-11T16:15:00.005+09:00

It's only 4pm, but the sky is turning dark soon. Long nights are pretty saddenning sometimes. So I'm sitting in front of my computer, feeling restless and fidgety because I have to go for practice in about 15mins time but yet I have a reading in OLD JAPANESE I've to complete by say, tonight. I hate being sandwiched between. It's like, you gotta go or you gotta do it. But I don't want to do both. So I'm blogging.

Still thinking of home every single day. But I'm not dwelling so much anymore. Just want to get through every day until next year's Feb/March when I'll get a temporal reprieve from feeling lonely being overseas. Can't wait, really :D And Landis' coming in 3 months time! He's far from me, but having another friend in Tokyo will do some good.

I wanna stay in that world where it's okay to be weak. No more brave fronts, no more pretending, no more feeling stifled. So many of what this world preaches are making us feel worse. Who says we can't cry when we're feeling sad? Who says we have to hate those who hurt us - in the end, who's the one who ends up huffy with anger and rage while the other one goes away whistling happily? Who says weakness is a curse? I learnt that weakness is a trait. Just because the world says so, doesn't mean that it's right, you know.

Lie on my back and watch the clouds float past me;
And wish that just like them,
My troubles would too.

PS: I'm not emo-ing! Just in a very whateveryouwannacallit mood, that's all. (:

Living out of a luggage.

2010-09-30T12:30:00.003+09:00

As the bell to leave tolls nearby, I have this ridiculous sinking sensation, and anxiety floods over me like a tsunami. It never fails to occur every single departure. Never. But I guess it's time to pack up my feelings and my luggage and bid another goodbye. At this point, my feeling is indescribable. And anyway, I don't want to dwell too much on how I'm feeling inside lest it makes it too difficult to leave.

While sending XJ off at the airport yesterday, it hit me as to how familiar the airport has become. It always used to be a place where excitement unfolds with the clutched worn-out itinerary in hand, dreaming of places yet seen, yet experienced. I remember the airport used to be my favourite place and I'd love watching people entering the departure halls, trying to put myself in their shoes, thinking of the exotic places they were heading too. And I'd envy them.

Now? Everytime I think of the airport, I'm reminded of the all-too familiar sinking sensation and sadness. It's like how you're reminded of kaya and butter toast when you think of Ya-Kun. I hope that the next few times I've to leave again, I'll be able to overcome the dread and find something to look forward to going back to FarLaLand.

But it's been a milestone. God has brought me through 1half years in that foreign land. And He'll bring me through the next 3half. And I'm really happy to be able to be home for 1half months this time :D so super thankful! Its been so awesome. Love being with Familiarity. It's always hard to leave all that I love, but I'll manage with Your grace and strength. Amen.

Wallflower.

2010-09-07T11:28:00.003+09:00

Feeling sad, kinda.

I don't know when I became so anal about order. Like, it makes sense that the person you see of utmost importance will come to your mind first, no? So it also makes logical sense that when your name is placed last, it means that you're either the least thought of, or it's just chucked in as a last minute thought.

Mmm.

And I have something about hanging out in big groups. It's all fine and dandy if I know everyone well and have the connection with them. But even so, I still fade away after awhile. I don't know.. I guess I just get tired of fighting for a chance to speak with everyone - I'm more of a listener, really. But when it's one-on-one, there's also this unspoken pressure to keep on talking to save any awkward moments. So unless I'm really comfortable with that person, I'd do all I can do avoid going out with anybody alone.

Yes, that's my social dilemma.

Oh, Wallflower.

A look at the past and remembered.

2010-09-04T12:18:00.006+09:00

Hello hello, I'm back with a bloated face and bleary eyes. I should really stop any liquid intake right before I sleep.

I'm really happy because I got to eat my favourite soft yummiest awesomest subway cookies yesterday and met awesome people whom I've missed terribly.

My favourite is still White Chocolate Macademia Nut.

I'm sorry I couldn't satisfy your fast-food craving, Ruth, but Subway is way more exciting than other fast-food outlets - that I insist! :P

Dinner with 3206-ers are never simple affairs. Waited for Yi'en and Christine for close to an hour cos 'they were stuck underground SMU' buying shoes -.- Now I understand the pains of making people wait (Yes, Eric D. xP) Was looking forward to eating at Food for Thought but it was so crowded and there wasn't any space for 10 ): So we ended up at Cheeky Chocolate@Illuma, where I thanked God for sparse human traffic.

Here were the people who made the night.

Some people were rendevous-ing under the watchful eyes of so many cameras TSK.
Get a room la, aiyo.

The guys!
It was Jason's birthday (in yellow).
HAPPY 21ST, JASE! :D
Do get through Law School alive!
**How many lawyers do we have coming out of 3206 huh? :D

Us girls!
I was glad that this time, the guys didn't outnumber the girls.

Super happy to meet up with the very people who made JC so memorable for me. Too bad Cheryn couldn't make it! But yesyes, we have another date all set up (: I love this bunch of people. They make me laugh so hard (:

The laughter and familiar faces made me nostalgic all over again for JC: The breaks spent talking about everything and nothing, the nonsense games we played (Joti's Wall Game), the struggle we went through together for Math and GP (our class was by far THE class that couldn't do Math YAY!), lunch breaks at AMK (bus or walk?!). Yes, I really really do miss AJC. Forget the factory uniforms, forget the crumbling buildings; the best 2 years were spent there.

OH YES, and I met Yanling while at Marina Square. How much of a coincidental that was! She happened to be back for the holidays from Canada. It feels nice to meet an old friend again (:

I feel so old now that a big part of my schooling life is almost over. Uni life is just another phase of life, nothing close to the Pri-JC phase. Jotz and I agreed that friendships forged in Sec is probably the deepest one and the worst would probably be uni. Not everyone might agree, though. But to me, friendships forged in the later years are never quite the same.

We're all moving across the 20th mark so fast before we can even say supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. The 30th mark seems to be looming round the corner already and we'll then be moving on to another phase of life again. Well, but some people will be moving on to that phase next year already! (; Yea, time really does fly. We're aging, dear 89 babies! D:

But life has been sweet.
Thank you for being the important pieces in my life, youknowwhoyallare!
And I thank God for that.

Really, honestly, seriously.

Contentment

2010-08-24T19:01:00.003+09:00

As a rule, man's a fool.
When it's hot, they want it cool.
And when it's cool, they want it hot.
Always wanting what's not.

- Unknown Poet

When I read this I nearly laughed because it describes how I am in Japan to the T! The cool seasons are too cold for a Sunny Island girl like me and Summer there is just enough to kill. If you've read the news, some people have been killed by heat stroke in Japan just recently! Scary anot! But the bottomline is that Man are never content in whatever circumstances we're in.

Don't you get sick and tired of feeling grumpy and complaining about everything? I know I do. I'm convinced it takes twice the amount of energy to frump around than to smile and be at peace. Come on, just imagine how much energy it takes being angry VS being happy. And isn't there a saying about how it takes more muscles to smile than to frown? So we get to work our facial muscles! Say bye to flabby cheeks :D

I'm a peace-loving person (I really am!) so I guess that's probably why I have nothing much to say to complaints and grumblings. I don't mind hearing people out but when it comes to dishing advice, uh-uh, I can't do that. When the person's so swallowed up by his/her own emotions, there's a high chance they won't wanna hear any peace-loving advice. So yes, good advice always falls on deaf ears. Plus the fact that people ALWAYS want to get dramatic and be the bitchy one. All of us have an Inner Drama Queen in us I suppose.

But, we need to let our IDQ rest at some point in our lives. I get tired of dramas sometimes. I've always thought how nice our world would be if people would actually shut up and stop complaining about anything and everything. Just stuff your mouth with food man, not filth. It'll benefit you a whole lot more, really.

Disclaimer: NOT criticising anyone in particular. But I'm just tired of ingratitude and of complaints.

Sadly, it takes more than one person to change that.

So I'm leaving on a jet plane,

2010-08-08T14:46:00.011+09:00

Moral of the story: cooping yourself up makes you cranky.

So I returned back to civilisation after cooping myself up for about 3 days because I was exhausted after camp ended on the 4th. Needed some "Me Time" y'see. Plus my feet was aching so bad I could hardly walk - lethal combination of jogging-after-a-long-while + walking-in-heels-for-5hours + hockey practice + mountain climbing. Don't ever try that, you're warned, because it's suicide. Thank God my feet's all recovered and ready to move about again (:

English Summer Camp was pretty fun. ESC= Free food + Speak English + International exchange + sweet & bratty kids + money. There's nothing I should be complaining about. The kids were pretty hard to handle because they're at the rebellion age and refuse to do anything that will deem them "uncool". We had to teach them a song/dance from each country but as expected, they were hesitant about doing the actions. The captains all had a tough time with our kids. I didn't teach something representative of Singapore though. I wanted to do Muneru Valiba but noone could tell me the meaning of the song! So I gave that up and decided to do "Peel Banana" HAHA. I always thought it was a Singaporean thing but it turns out that it's done almost all over the world. But my kids did it in the end, and I'm so proud of them. We won "The Most Original Dance" LOLOL. It sure was original, cos I incorporated actions that were do-friendly to the kids. So yes, it IS original :D

And this was what us captains did during our spare time.

:D

It was fun building it. Like cheerleading.
Really sorry to the poor people who made up the base of the pyramid. (Look at their faces scrunched up in agony! =x)
Cartwheels or somersaults next time!

I saw my dream house. It's too pretty and too striking to miss out amidst the Tokyo-coloured buildings and conbinis.

I love the way the colours are so harmonised and it's just so colourful that I can't help but smile when I look at it. And the architecture is wonderful. Solid shapes put together to create something so abstract and adorable. I pass by this building every Sunday on the way to church. I'm not sure if it's residential or if it's some playhouse thingy. The owner of this house is so creative! I wished my future house could look something like that! *dreamy

And dinner the past three nights was curry. Had to cook it because my mom gave me so many packets of curry and instant stuff.

It's Yellow Curry. The coconut milk made it really yummy! The ratio of ingredients to curry was like 3:1 ohwell hahahaha.

Don't think I can sleep tonight. I'm excited about flying off to Korea tomorrow! (: Hopefully it'll be a fun and fruitful trip.

And then I'm headed Home!

So see you guys in a jiffy! (:

PS: If anyone wants anything from Korea, please drop me a mail ASAP.

아녕~

Play that funky music!

2010-07-30T11:29:00.004+09:00

Oh I so adore this song (:

It's the current fave that's stuck in my head.

And this is another fave!

I wish I could learn how to play it on the guitar!!

Someone please teach me guitar chords when I'm back! I can't possibly play this on a classical HAHAHA.

Take a listen (:

2010-07-29T06:47:00.003+09:00

It's raining.

I should be happy after the relentless weeks of summer heat. But I can't seem to muster up the energy. Woke up for a jog at 0600 to find the sky dark and the wind blowing.

No idea why I'm feeling sad. I just am.

Ruined plans make me upset.
Obligation makes me mad.

Why is it that it gets harder as we grow older? It's supposed to get easier with practice, doesn't it?

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Toystory-ed after my last paper on Tuesday. I liked it but I think I placed too much expectations on it that it turned out to be good-but-not-that-good. But the part where Buzz turned Spanish; hahahaha that was hilarious, I tell you. And I teared at the last part when Andy was playing with the toys and had this look in his eyes of pain at separation and longing. He's all grown up now, leaving for college. I cried, for the lost innocence, for the inevitable goodbye, for the things that will never be.

Next up: "Inception".

2010-07-24T23:06:00.002+09:00

Name:

Say:

The grunt of finality.

2010-07-23T09:14:00.000+09:00

累了。

好想，好想回家。

This morning,

2010-07-20T10:40:00.001+09:00

woke up to tears streaming down my cheeks
and a scream caught in my throat.

♥ Summer Time Love ♥

2010-07-19T11:57:00.006+09:00

I. Can't. Wait. To. Be. Home.

I have to leap over the Exams Hurdle before I can reach the other side of the rainbow. Oh please please let me not screw this up.

Things to do when I'm HOME!

1. Overnight K!

2. Photography outings (I really want to search out awesome places to take photos at! Love my GoldenHalf and Polaroid! [thanks Churchies!!! :D])

3. Makan Trip (Weirdly though, I haven't had any cravings for the longest time)

4. Shopping with BBF + Outings with the girls ♥ (BBF, do you only start school in September?!)

5. Planning for Hokkaido + Swimming with Bestfriend ♥ (You have to bring me to the awesome restaurants you've scouted out)

6. Meet up with 3206!

7. Picnic @ Marina Barrage (I still haven't been there yet!)

8. Winchester's stall

9. Overnight cycling? (Xiwen! Am I supposed to be in charge of this? Is the sports schedule still valid?)

10. Where else is new in Singapore? I need to be updated!

I'll still be slaving off on my report when I'm home but I'm trying to hopefully get it done before I fly home though that's really a stretch ): I've decided that I really hate reports. I always thought they were the lesser of the two evils compared to written examinations where it's do-or-die, but REPORTS, especially if I don't know understand the topic, are killers. I've been slaving off this particular report for the past few weeks and I only finished it like yesterday, amidst all my studying for EndSem. I don't think it's a good finished product but I really tried my best ): I pray the teacher will have mercy.

I can't wait to go to Korea too! :D Food Paradise. And I can't wait to show off my Korean LOL. Just kidding (; Was watching a random Korean movie yesterday at 1am (was rewarding myself for finishing the report) and I've come to realise that the most bimboitic, no-brainer, movies are not only limited to Hollywood. Haha. Not that it's entirely bad; it provides good entertainment.

And TOYSTORY3. I've been dying to watch it ever since I saw in the cinemas when I was back earlier this year; the scene where Ken meets Barbie. And then I had to endure it being released WAY earlier in Singapore -> and when it finally came out in Japan it was too near to EndSem to watch -> now I have to wait till exams are over. Nooooooooo. Everyone's been feeding me with good reviews and it makes the wait so much more prolonged than it really is.

But. The good things in life come to those who are patient (:

Okay, mad exam schedule starts from tomorrow. Please pray for me!

PS: BBF, I'll be waiting for your excitingly innovative reply! :D

World Cup Fever.

2010-06-19T22:23:00.007+09:00

Yes, I'm the kind who watches soccer only during World Cup.

... When I should be studying.

Japan vs Netherlands today. 0-1. Both teams' defences were really strong. There was this big fuss over Honda before the match but I feel that he didn't really show much during today's match. Tulio was really impressive though :D Honda's cute but still, if only he showed more of what he could do. The Argentina vs South Korea match was pretty exciting too. But Argentina was too strong la. 4-0 O.O

My lecturer is a really big soccer fan. Last Friday, he was like "Oh no.. what should we do about next Friday?" We were all like huh?? It's not as if there's a holiday or something so why should there be any problem? The lecture hall was quiet. Heh, bet everyone was as puzzled as me. And then he went on asking this question for a few times before he said "The match is at 3.30am!" And we were all like OHHHHH. HAHAHAHA. "If I watch the 3.30am match, I won't be able to sleep much and I have first period..." (Lecturer).

Wahahaha. My lecturer is so cute lah.

I bet my brother is not getting much sleep during this World Cup period either. What with his ridiculous shifts and his fanatic love for soccer.

Believe it or not, I can finally see the craze about soccer. The play on the field is really fun to watch. There are so many techniques involved. It's not only about kicking a ball, it's the skills behind kicking that ball. It's like hockey. If only I can apply what I see on that soccer field to hockey. But seeing the players make mistakes, a shiver unconsciously runs down my spine. I still remember so vividly how much I got scolded by C. -shudders. I still suffer from the trauma now and then.

But speaking of which, the weather is so Singapore-like now it's unbearable. Especially in the day. Now's the rainy season so the humidity level is uber high and it all gets stuck in the air like a invisible cloak of stickys that's waiting to envelope you. I get drenched in sweat literally when I ride from my dorm to the station every single day. Means I have to do my laundry more often now noooooooooo. And today's hockey prac was so tiring cos of the heat and sun. Thank God I'm going back for the summer! When I'm back it'll be autumn wheeee :D :D

Anyway, this was my dinner yesterday! Strifried seafood with egg. The seafood's expiry date was like 2 weeks ago but I still ate it anyway cos I figured nothing frozen actually goes too spoiled. And I was right, thank God.

I can't wait to bake lahhhh. Keep reading about Limin baking cookies and all makes my mouth water. After exams. Exams exams go awayyyyy. So stressed. I still have a bunch of things to study for and exams are only about a month away. CRAZY. Only God can deliver me through this disaster=crisis man.

Lookie! My hair's long enough to french braid already! :D It's not a perfect braid but at least now I know how to tie a decent one. But gotta wait for my hair to grow out more cos it's still really layered. And frizzy. Anyone knows how to solve the problem of frizzy hair???

Okay I need to go. Not even supposed to blog. I just blogged for the sake of blogging cos it's been too long.

And people, I'm okay. Don't worry. Just cos you don't see me online doesn't mean I'm like crying or emo-ing or something. I'm just busy!

Toodles. Have an awesome weekend, all! ♥

PS: What's with the weird comments from weird China-ish sounding users? They leave the randomest comments like "Wow.. your English is incredible" and "Say not all that you know, believe not all that you hear." Like HUH?! Is it some sort of virus? Stop spamming my blog comments, you random people.

Where did May go??

2010-06-03T22:33:00.010+09:00

Hellooo I'm back after a super long hiatus. Not that I was hibernating, I wish! Plus it's turning summer now so I would probably die of stuffiness.

Well here are the overload of (food) pictures from May. I have been eating properly (:

My favourite dish(es). Stirfried beansprouts and chicken. I think the chicken dish will be The Charmine dish from now on. So yummy, if I do say so myself xD

Stirfried beef with green pepper and mushroom.

Strifried pork with cabbage and mushroom.

Hahaha my point here is that I've been experimenting with different meat as opposed to my previous silent rule of only buying and handling chicken meat. Conclusion: I still like chicken meat the best cos it doesn't have the meaty taste unlike pork and beef but the only meat fat I dare to eat is from beef. Pork is too fatty and chicken is too.. white and conspicuous?? HAHA I love beef bowls :D

Stirfried spinach with mushroom and crabmeat shreds.

I'm really happy having my own kitchen. Can't wait to get a bigger one in 2 years! :D

Beard Papa! Soooooooo good I tell you! Especially the custard!! But of course it comes with a Price to pay ):

And here's something cute from Osaka when I went last month (:

So cute right!!!!! Couldn't resist buying them (:

Okay end of food pictures.

So what have I been busy with, you ask? SCHOOL! All of you who have talked to me and asked me how's school, I'm sure I've given you the same answer: CRAZY. Like really really. I'm not even sure of the dates that pass by me cos every day seems to pass so quickly. Like something that happened last week can feel like it only happened yesterday. It's so scary. And that means exams will approach before I even realise!!! >"< But of course that means the day when I get to go home will be here before I even know it! :D :D

And why's school so busy, you ask again. Basically I end school at 6 almost every day (except on Tuesday) and when I come home and wash up and cook, by the time I settle down it's like 9pm. Where got time to do homework and revision you tell me!! I'm lagging behind my studies, and it doesn't help that I don't understand half of my lecture (haha I don't know how I manage to say this calmly every time) and that I'm in 3 "CCAs". Really racing against time. 24 hours a day is really challenging. All I can do is lean on His strength. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me! (:

Oh and last week when I was in Shinjuku, this was what caught my attention.

Yes it's a demostration! I don't know what the police officers are doing there, are they ensuring that no protesters go wild and try something funny or are they in the demo too??? Hahaha. It's apparently a demo against some Okinawa and America soldiers issue thingy. Sorry I'm so out of touch with the news o.O and they were holding plague cards asking Hatoyama (Japan's PM) to resign. And guess what! The next day (or maybe it was a few days later) I heard that he really resigned! Japan's politics.. it changes too fast for me to keep up with it anymore so I don't bother. But this was really something new to me cos I've only seen demos on TV in my life. What's funny is that when we saw the demo, our convo went like that:

Char: What's that!

XX: Hmm.. a festival?

Char: Oooh, what festival is that? Is today someday special?

XX: Don't know..

(Pauses)

Char: HEY WAIT. It's a demo!!!!!

It was really a peaceful demo. Like not those kinda where police have to whack people with their batons to keep order. They were just marching along in one line and playing some music. That's why we first mistook it as a festival when we didn't read the plague cards properly.

We really learn something new every day! Especially when we're out of Singapore! Singapore's soo sheltered. We aren't allowed to do demos, we don't have natural disasters, most of us have a roof over our heads and we get to eat 3 meals a day (some people even eat more than 3 meals a day, while on the other extreme, some people don't even eat by choice). People who complain about living in Singapore - seriously, you don't know what's hardship until you've experienced one. So quit complaining about Singapore okay! Yes, the weather is so freaking hot, but are you dying from the heat? We have aircons and fans but people over in say, India, are dying from the 45degrees heat and they don't even have the luxury of aircons or fans in some places. The best thing is that Singapore is so safe from natural disasters, especially no earthquakes and typhoons and tsunamis. Do you even know how blessed we are? Japanese are so envious of us whenever I say we don't have natural disasters in Singapore. They find it hard to believe cos they've been brought up knowing them like the back of their hands. Our education system - we're spoonfed, we're only good at memorising. True, but I think Lee Kuan Yew was so wise in implementing the bilingual education system. I can't tell you how proud I am to be able to speak both English and Chinese while people struggle with learning the two major languages in this world. And I can't tell you how much I love Singlish. I've said it before in another post last year but I'm still gonna say it. The thrill of speaking Singlish in a foreign country is unexplainable. If you think it's a disgrace, I'll tell you this: That's cos you don't make the effort to learn how to speak proper English. If you're able to switch between proper English and Singlish, you'll see the joy of the latter. So it's your fault, not Singlish's.

Hee, think I just wrote an essay titled "A Singaporean's Pride". Hahahahaha as I was telling Kegan, I think Japan's gonna mould us into patriotics after our 4 years here. He wore a Singapore shirt to school the next day after the table tennis match where Singapore trashed China. Well the players are China-Chinese anyway, I pointed out. But he said "Just looking at Singapore's flag makes me happy". HAHAHA.

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It's so sad that people just don't know how to be satisfied with what they have.
It's so sad that we have a never-ending lust for money. So what if you're rich? Can you bring money with you to your grave?
Money's important of course, but is it so important that you're willing to go against your moral values and ruin your life?
It's sad that you're rejecting and cursing Eternity that you don't even know and understand.

...

2010-05-07T22:13:00.003+09:00

I apologize for this sudden outburst after all this silence but I'm going to burst if I don't scream!

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

My hands are all sore from screwing, unscrewing, twisting, untwisting and all the water. Water wrinkles. Not fun at all.

I bought this water purifier for my tap and I thought it'd be simple enough to install it so I followed the instructions closely and installed it. But. It leaks. And I can't screw out the parts to its original state. One part was stuck to the tap but after I screwed it even more till I could hear the "clack" sound (heck I dont even know if its spoiled), the two parts are now stuck to each other -_-

I give up. My hands hurt too much to try again.

ARGH. I hate it when things spoil before they are even used. I hope I can get a replacement. No, I need SOMEONE to help me do it. But I doubt I'll get any of those T_T

Frustrated.

I just wasted 2hours on that.

No mood to blog about other stuff.

Excuse me.

White Berry Sour.

2010-04-13T17:48:00.015+09:00

Room for Short-Term Rental.

Details as followed:

〒181-0004
Mitaka International Hall of Residence Block C Room 321
6-22-20,Shinkawa,Mitaka-shi
Tokyo

Conditions:

1. Lodgers must be friends of the said party.
2. Lodgers must be prepared to squeeze and sleep on the floor if needed.
3. Lodgers must come with the sincere purpose of wanting to visit the said party.
4. Lodgers must be prepared to take a bus from the station and walk a considerable distance to decent civilisation.
5. Lodgers must be forewarned about the USSR-like buildings when they first enter the campus so that they do not get a shock.

Pictures:

What you see when you first step into the room.

Kitchen Area

Living Space. (Apologies for the mess. The furnitures can be shifted around to make space on the floor.)

Single Bed. (Enough for 2 people actually, if lodgers don't mind squeezing a little. Limited only to female lodgers!)

Well, let's compare the previous room.

You can see there's alot more walking space.

Let me introduce you to the residents of the building.

The TRIPLETS! I met them today; aren't they adorable? (:

To reserve/book a place, please contact through email or msn. (preferably at least 2 months before!)

**Apologies for the lack of photos of the toilet, corridor, USSR-like buildings etc etc. But because seeing is believing, you have to come see for yourself *smirks*

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There's a million of things I wanted to show you guys but I've been really lazy ever since my last trip back to Singapore and thus I've only just uploaded all my pics that were taken since 2 months ago.

Doesn't this look familiar?!

It's Mr Bean!!!!!!!!

If you don't believe, look at the signboard and the signature GREEN colour :D

And would you look at the queue!

I'm so happy that Mr Bean came to Japan! But they don't have my favourite peanut pancake though ):

Indeed, life's simple pleasure (:

Speaking of which, I have a blender now woohoo! So I blended Avocado milkshake yesterday. Sooooooooo yummy. Best thing in the world. And the colour is absolutely divine.

Okay that's all I can afford to blog for now. I need to go research for my project already. Sigh, honestly.

Welcome to university life, me.

Oxy.Moron.Ic.

2010-04-11T22:50:00.004+09:00

1. Be cruel to be kind.
2. Agree to disagree.
3. Organized chaos.
4. Tears of joy.
5. Losing weight after having stuffed yourself with food for a few weeks in a row.
6. Getting an A when you didn't even finish the paper.
7. The more you look for (it), the more you won't be able to find it;
8. And when you look for (it), you find other things that was lost before.
9. The more you try, the more you don't get what you are working hard for;
10. And when you don't try, it comes naturally.

I don't get it. I honestly don't.

But God's been good as usual, He knows how much I can take.

Dying for some 2BFs company recently. I don't feel like myself. To begin with, I don't even know who the real me is in the first place. Is the Singapore Charmine the real one, or is the Japan Charmine the real one? I'm puzzled.

This whole post.. 謎.

Don't take this post too literally.

If this post puzzles you, remember it puzzles me as much.

I really don't understand why.

If I were a guy...

2010-04-08T12:07:00.001+09:00

I'd fall head over heels with asian girls who speak English with an American/British accent. (:

i want foooood!

2010-03-22T23:46:00.003+09:00

"We're so stupid. We shouldn't reproduce."

-Jeff to his female counterpart on Amazing Race

HAHA that line totally cracked me up. It sounds crude but it's the way he said it that makes it so hilarious. That's why I like AR, it's Reality TV with a twist of humour cos there're so many different personalities thrown together.

Spent the whole day today watching Grey's Anatomy and Amazing Race 16. Fabulous shows :D Oh, and I started packing. Only managed to pack one box today though. Where should I start on next, I wonder.. There're like a million and one things to pack. Not to mention the two messy drawers that I don't even want to think of. It's like a mish mash of everything in it that I'm quite sure I may not even recognise some of the things there since one year ago it was placed. But many many people moving out already. The dorm's like some ghost town. I think it's only cos I'm moving away soon and I hate adapting to new environments that I'm saying this, but yeah - I think I'll miss this dorm. Hate it or love it, there ought to be memories wherever you leave footprints on. I even miss hockey, although trainings were hell. But I remember the good times on top of the bad, so it still makes it a bittersweet memory. I guess this logic applies here too.

And thank you, Yien, for keeping me sane and stepping up to your counsellor status to counsel me when I'm emo-ing! Your positivity is truly amazing lah. But I really do want to learn to give thanks for even the smallest blessing, like being able to eat a fabulous meal is also a good reason to give thanks and be happy about! I've always thought of doing the "Give thanks for 5 things a day" but it always slips my mind. If I can help it, I really want to keep to it. Just finding out the little joys in life will create a great amount of difference.

And I succeeded! In not emo-ing (so much). Haha. Well we'll see how good I can keep it up after school starts. But it's still a good start.

Sorry no pictures to brighten up this lengthy post. My food has been crap ever since I came back, only surviving on bread and fruits (that is if I'm not out for dinner). Today's dinner was just canned tuna and porridgey-rice. Haha so sad. I'm craving for real food. Hate this interim period where I can't cook anything! Looking at people's food posts make me so envious. I wanna start cooking and baking tooooooooo. I miss cakes. And bread. I have a craving for bagels with cream cheese, mmmmm.

they call it age.

2010-03-21T17:27:00.003+09:00

im flubberxhausted.

had an overnight K with the mingxing and fan, came back to have 2 hours of sleep, rush out to church, rush to lunch, rush home to wait till 6pm for dinner with mingxing and sg.

i don't know how i can even be awake at this point of time. i'm amazed how much energy God has put in all of us!

and today has been an eye-opener for me. i can never be amazed at how generous humankind can be. the moments when i want to punch them are countless, but the good side, wow. how is it possible for people to treat a total stranger so nicely? got a lift from Patrick to their church this morning and after service, he told his wife to send me to the station first because they were held up with some issues cos "she's running late", when i could jolly well walk my fat ass to the station by myself (it's like within 10mins). and then, a todai senior whom i've only met ONCE gave me so much advice and helped me so utterly much that it made me so ashamed that i allowed him to pay for lunch today.

wow. it's a statement for the cynic-turned me.

not that the world is overspilling with such people. so all the more i'm compelled to blog about such praise-worthy people.

right. dinner!

Clay heart.

2010-03-19T22:38:00.007+09:00

Landed safely (:

Had the longest trip back to dorm. I'm amazed at how much time I'm willing to sacrifice just to avoid carrying my luggage down flights of stairs. From the usual 1half hours, I took twice that amount today. T_T but I really thank God that I got back safely (cos I got lost a couple of times). Plus, I'm really thankful for the people who helped me with my luggage (I bearly had to lift my luggage!). Good to see the pretty side of humanity again, lol.

Big thanks to Chae Huah and Hui Wen for waking up so early just to send me off at the airport today! 感动!! But I still hate farewells. Nothing can make me change my mind about that. The last two times I left, I had this big crying fest that lasted even till I reached dorm. This time, I didn't shed a tear. Proud of myself. Not that I'm happy about leaving, or that I've become indifferent, but I'd like to think of it as growth. And maybe cos I willed myself not to think about it - that really helped. My mom cried the last time when I hugged her goodbye. This time my dad was like "don't hug her already la... later she cry again", lol good advice. I hate seeing my mom cry, cos I feel so awkward and so helpless, not to mention I'll end up in a sobbing mess too. I think I need to cut down on going back too often because the process of returning is a big turn-off.

Came back to find my room a warzone. They changed the bedding (now I have a thicker and bouncier matteress to sleep in!!!) and they had to shift my stuff around. Spent like 2 hours clearing up. Exhausted. Pictures another time. I'm too tired to upload anything now.

Wondering what I should live on for the next 5 days until I move out again. And I haven't had any news about the university's dorm yet!! If I don't get it, I'll probably need to stay another 8 months in this dorm. But the facilities are getting so much better! The girls' shower room is a pretty shade of baby pink (so cute & delightful compared to the previous one) and they changed all the sinks! No more manual intervalled faceuts and theres a bigger sink for us to wash out stuff in! WHY DID ALL THESE THINGS ONLY COME WHEN WE ARE MOVING OUT?! Sigh, but good for the juniors la.

Note to self:

• Get visa done asap.

• Pack by end of next Tuesday.

• Don't you dare emo.

Bored!

2010-02-23T10:59:00.003+09:00

Waiting for my turn at oral.

50 more mins.

And I'm in my room relaxing. LOL.

Only in such cases is it awesome to be staying in a dorm that's 2 mins away from school. Lolol.

AND I'm going home tomorrow wheeeeeeeeeeee.

Looking forward to my 4Fs - Family, Friends, Food & Fun! :D :D :D

Morning Reflections.

2010-02-21T06:52:00.001+09:00

Horrible morning. Didn't even sleep a wink. Tossed and turned for 6hours+ when I surrendered and gave up trying to sleep. It's even more tiring to lie in bed willing yourself to sleep than being up doing other random things. I kid you not. It's not even funny when I'm mentally exhausted but my mind doesn't want to shut down. There are times when I wished my powerhouse would work doubly hard, but sleeping time is obviously not the time. Sigh. Will need every drop of energy from Above to get me through the day.

But still, thank God it's Sunday! :D A day closer to home! FREE Malaysian buffet later :D :D And just had awesome dimsum yesterday (well, it still feels like today actually because of you-know-why %$@!#^!&). Learnt some Spanish from Rafael. I'm starting to think Spanish is fun, because it's pretty similar to English and I got complimented for my pronunciation! Not that I sound native, but he said the way I pronounced Spanish is cute from a Spanish-speaking person's POV wahahaha. Anyhow say also can sound cute, you say easy or not :D But I'm still deliberating between Korean and Spanish. How how how?!

Mmmm first time in a loong while that I've been up so early. Unfortunately, the sunrise in Japan is super early so I still didn't get to see it. And age must be catching up on me, I'm starting to reminisce alot. Plus the fact that I take awfully (too) long to adapt to new environments is making me sad. Like I'm not living in every moment and appreciating everything that I have around me right now. I know so many of you have heard me complaining about Japan and how I wished I could go home instead. Well, of course during my lows, it's natural to have these kinda thoughts, no? But recently, I'm starting to see the joy of studying in Japan, or overseas for this matter. Having survived this one year in Language School, I'm starting to miss it already. Lessons aside, I think I've met wonderful people who have contributed to my growth, knowledge and thinking. Xiwen once told me that once we start to become familiar with our surroundings, we tend to take things for granted. However, if we are thrown into unfamiliar conditions, we realise how weak we really are and we start to have a true sense of gratitude to what/who we have in our lives. I don't want to ever take the things/people I have for granted, so I'm really thankful that I'm given this opportunity to be thrown into the wilderness and learn survival skills. I might be forced to sleep in the mud, be forced to fear each and every day for what's lurking around, be forced to eat jungle food (sounds like army rations hahahaha), but at the end of the day, it's precisely these things that will make me grow up. I'm fully aware of how sheltered and protected I am in Singapore, so being forced out of my comfort zone will only serve to make me a stronger person with a stronger character. What doesn't break me will only make me stronger (:

Ah, see what I mean by growing old? "The moral of the story" starts to come out.

Sleep deprivation is keeping me hyperactive.

I think it's all the tea that's keeping me awake.

合格通知

2010-02-19T17:56:00.000+09:00

University of Tokyo, here I come (:

Thank you, thank you Lord.
You've been so good to me.
Your amazing grace;
How sweet.
:D

What reunion dinners do to you.

2010-02-13T19:49:00.001+09:00

While everyone is out having reunion dinners in different state/country/continent of the world, someone in Japan decided to have macs and sushi dinner for her own reunion (: It's not really sad - if you've read my previous entry you'd understand why. But the thing is I overate. Lol, as usual when it comes to conveyor-belt sushi. I ate 11 plates! My highest record so far. I know I can still go further but I stopped myself before any brutal (or I should say visible) damage was done. Guy on my left ate 7 plates only la. But okay, guy on my right ate 12. Hahahaha. I'm still higher than the median of us 3. Whatever. It's my reunion dinner anyway xD

It's to make up for my not buying any new year clothes, you see.

That being said, I realised I should probably be spending the money on new clothes rather than on food. Clothes are lasting but food isn't and it just hangs to your hips, thighs, tummy etc. Oh man. I need to get lessons on investment planning.

It was productive in Macs. [[ Sidenote: ShakaShaka Chicken CHEESE is so goooood. ]] I finally reached the half-point of my storybook that I started on like half a year ago hahahaha, went through interview questions (though only Interview Day will tell how productive that was), memorised 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, and journalled. Yay. Macs is really not that bad a place to hang out when cafes are too far away. But the counter seat gave me a really bad backache, though ):

And I'm really excited about going back to school in Singapore! LAW fac somemore can, don't playplay. Haha.

11 more days. (Am I dreaming??)

♥ Polaroid ♥

2010-02-11T21:26:00.001+09:00

I was stalking blogs the past hour. Yes, I'm that bored now. Unfortunately, people have stopped updating regularly, and I've ran out of blogs to read now ):

Anyway, we had Singaporean's Reunion Dinner yesterday.

Appetiser.

Three soup bases! But the mala wasn't spicy enough =/

Veggie platter and bamboo chicken.

Us minus Yinghui who left early cos she hadn't packed her luggage when her flight was at 10 in the morning the next day! Brave.

BTW, the group pictures were taken with Wanping's polaroid. I ♥ polaroids! It's 超 pretty lah. And I love the way the picture comes out instantly and you have to shake it for the colour to develop. There's a iPod polaroid application which works too, but technology loses handsdown to the hands-on experience. Whyohwhy are polaroids so expensive!（`へ’)

We were at this Mongolian steamboat place. All steamboats taste the same la, haha. There was lamb, though. I can never get used to the taste of lamb, unless it's cooked in curry or something heavy. But definitely not shabu-shabu style. The taste is too strong, IMO. >"<

I've been going to school recently, but sorry, I couldn't accomplish full-days. Mon & Tues were afternoon-lessons-day, but I succeeded yesterday. School is getting so lonely la. Tim has decided to give himself the prerogative to be absent from school, Allen has quit school, Jodie is also on a strict "I'll come when I feel like coming" regime and with that, she has been MIA for the past week (now she's in Kyoto enjoying), Kegan is going to be absent from school cos his parents are here to spend CNY with him (so good...). Sad or what? Now my side of the class is almost empty. But at least just one more week of school left! I'll make sure I get through that last week (:

Alright, food time! I don't have many food pictures from this week though.

Veggie Soup. Healthy and gooood (:

Self-deceptive "healthy" Laksa Instant Noodles.

Haha they look kinda the same cos I just threw whatever I had in my fridge into it. But healthy enough, right? And I've taken to eating right out from the pan cos that's one less thing to wash! Sorry for the bad presentation!

I'm craving so badly for converter-belt sushi right now!! You wouldn't believe how far the cheap ones are. People always get the impression that if you're in Japan, you'll get to eat sushi every day. WRONG. They are so expensive la. I wish I could eat them every day cos I don't ever get sick of sushi! :D If only someone could give me a year's supply of converter-belt sushi! Hahaha. You know what? I think when I'm back in Singapore, I'll probably go eat sushi LOL. It's obviously not as nice as Japan's but at least it's cheap and edible ^^

Interview next Monday. Worried, but I know God will provide. Whatever happens, it's part of His plan so I'll relax and leave it to Him (:

Happy CNY in advance, everyone! I wish I could be there to eat the New Year Goodies and get angbaos, but more importantly, to be with my family. They are going on a holiday without me!! Hrmf. Haha but I'll still be in time for CNY when I'm back though it'll be like 初十二. But still, I'm thankful (:

♥Happy Valentine's Day♥ too! Especially to Eric (: You've been so wonderful I couldn't ask for more. Thanks for loving me ♥ (:

And I know this is veryveryveryveryvery (5 verys for 5 days) late, but

HAPPY 21ST, BBF!! ♥

Glad you had the awesomest party - wished I could be there, but I'll give you another celebration when I'm back okay! ((:

Here are pictures of my hat! We went on a hat-hunt in Harajuku and we finally found one we liked ((:

This is 月佳. She's so cute, isn't she (:

TGIF tomorrow :D :D

2 more weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeks!! o(^.^)o

Om Nom Nom.

2010-01-29T20:38:00.000+09:00

Haha, it seems like everyone's using this phrase now. I wonder why? Where did it originate from? Like some tv show or something?? Anybody who knows please enlighten me!

Anyway, this is another food post! I'm posting alot of food pictures recently because I've been cooking! One, to clear food stock before I head back so as to save the hassle of moving so many unnecessary food items; and two, to save money. After lending Kegan 300,000yen I feel utterly broke. I have lots more pictures but I picked these few cos I've something to say about them!

This looks rather disgusting, I know. It's called "高野豆腐 (kouya tofu)”, which is dehydrated tofu. You gotta rehydrate when you cook it - it swells to twice its size. Then cook it in soya sauce, mirin, dashi (the things I use in almost all my dishes). This one has egg on it.

This was my dinner today! Spammed lots of Korean Chilli on onions, carrots, long beans and mushrooms. Yummy! Two thumbs up ((:

When breakfast gets too boring... my inventions haha! My current favourite breakfast menu. The one on the left is nutella with almond nuts for the extra crunch and on the right is actually an idea stolen from Toast Auntie in St Nicks - Chicken Floss Cheese. I can still vividly remember ordering it. I want to eat the Toast Auntie's waffles ): Can we go back to St Nicks in March, girls?

Ta-da! Big thanks to Ruth for this recipe! White chocolate with oreos! I added almonds cos I'm an almond-freak lah. But it really turned out sinfully awesome, so thank you again! :D

Side-Note: Speaking of which, I'm superbly happy I can finally attend one of my friend's 21st! Yay! And I thought I'd be missing out on all the action. Can't wait! ((:

I'll have you know that I made it to two full days of school. I think I can only keep this behaviour up towards the end of the week. But thinking about it, I only have 3 more weeks in this school, so I guess I should just make the extra effort despite of the boring lessons. 3 more weeks.. it's so unreal. One whole year has passed just like that. Next phase would be university which is nothing but a blop of grey matter to me as of now.

And fact is, life is actually not so boring afterall. I was sighing with relief today after I've finished my speech that I've been dreading for the past few weeks (turned out better than expected, thank God) while thinking that I've nothing else to fear/dread until uni starts. But I realised that 'tis was not so.

Marching forward to:
1. University Interview (Feb 15)
2. Final Sem Exams (Feb 22 ~ 24)
3. Home Sweet Home (Feb 24 ~ Mar 19)
4. Hong Kong & Guangzhou Trip (Feb 26 ~ Mar 1)

5. BestFriend's 21st (Mar 13)

6. Moving Day (Mar 25)

7. Start of University (Apr 1~)

Many farewells to be said soon. Goodbye to Tokyo Japanese Language Education Center, Goodbye to YoungSang who's leaving for Korea, Goodbye to Kegan who's moving to Osaka, Goodbye to everything and everyone current and Hi to new people, new environment, new school.

Have I mentioned how much I hate goodbyes?

Yeah, I really do. Hate starting over. But life's like this - full of changes. I guess noone can really say life's boring in all honesty.

Getting out of Tokyo tomorrow and the day after! Going to visit my homestay family in Hamamatsu :D

TGIF (:

Have an awesome weekend, ya'll (:

Lost.

2010-01-26T22:12:00.001+09:00

Rare evening spent today.

Finished the remaining of Murakami Haruki's "After Dark" in one breath. Felt so nostalgic after that. Took out BBF's scrapbook she made for me when I came over. Looked at the photos taken over the years. There was youth in our faces, our smiles, our eyes. Everything felt so simple; a smile stayed a smile, tears meant sorrow. Now, a smile hides sadness, it hides secrets. The youth has disappeared from our faces. What's been replaced are weatheredness, experience, cynicism. Time's the culprit.

I miss every little thing. Wished things could be simple as before. Why do we always have to go make things so complicated?

Don't look at me with those cold eyes. What happened to the passion that was once there?

Wish I could cut away at your icy exterior you've placed there for protection. Protection from.. the world, from the hurt, from the things you don't want to know.

Everything feels unreal now.

Oh Innocence, you've been sorely missed.

Yay.

2010-01-26T15:34:00.000+09:00

From ANA "Thank you for your purchase."

I guess I've become a hardcore ANA fan, haha because it's probably the cheapest and most decent airline around. I must say going back this time is really an impulse on my part. I'm bogged down by moving-out troubles, university documental troubles, missing out on graduation etc and yet I'm determined to go back. Haha I'm not the youngest child in the family for nothing! And the day I fly back is the very day I end my examination, and I'm not even all too sure what time my paper ends, but I'm taking this huge risk. I know I must be crazy.

The last time I flew back, I had many small mishaps here and there. First, I left my dorm a little too late (half an hour before my train leaves), and the security guard almost refused my request to open the doors until 6.30 (the time my train leaves). I had to beg him before he grudgingly opened it for me, not without the grumblings and under-the-breath cursing. But I guess I can't blame him lah, cos I disturbed his beauty sleep. Then, while I was trudging to the train station, I had to stop more than 10 times because my arms really hurt from the sheer weight of the luggage. It didn't help my anxiety at all. Then at Shinjuku Station, I couldn't find a lift so I had to drag my luggage up flights of stairs (sometimes with the help of strangers - one unwillingly, one willingly). And when I thought I've finally reached the platform, I realised I'd missed the train. All hell almost broke loose right there and then. I thought I had to buy another ticket but I of course couldn't bring myself to drag my luggage up and down the stairs a second time. So out of sheer anxiety and panic, I left my luggage at the platform and went to the ticketing office. Yes, I left it there. I was surprised noone called the station master to report a suspicious baggage haha. After 5-10minutes, I was pleasantly informed I could actually hop on the next train but just that I don't get to sit. Fair enough. I really thanked God at the point. I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown. Thankfully the rest of the journey was smooth.

I just hope such an episode doesn't occur ever. But I foresee I'm going to have another nervous breakdown on the 24th while rushing to the airport. At least I'll have someone to run the race with me, hahaha.

And I really don't like to handle adult-ish matters! I'm dreading engaging a moving company, moving all my stuff, having to install internet all over again etc T_T I just hope I won't have to rush back cos of some documents........

24th Feb - 19 March (:

Two days in one.

2010-01-20T00:28:00.000+09:00

Written on 19/01/2010

I miss the days when I didn't have to worry about what to eat tomorrow. It's such a drag to think of what to eat/cook tomorrow =/

Have been only attending afternoon lessons recently. Got 'aiyo-ed' by my mum for that, heh. She's worried I won't be able to graduate with a lousy attendance when I've been telling her that I'm in the safe zone liao. Haha but I know, I don't do it intentionally lah. Not really anyway. Like this morning, I really had a huge headache. Yesterday.. well, yesterday was because I didn't know what was the first 2 periods so decided to skip it. Turned out to be English afterall. Guess I didn't miss anything much? But yesyes, I'll be attending full-day school tomorrow.

Hmm.. if school started later, I could eat brunch instead of having to think of what to eat for lunch.

Continued on 20/01/2010

Good news, I went to school for the whole day today. Though the last two periods were spent talking because there were too few people to conduct lessons (or as thought by my teacher). Win-win situation, I get my attendance and get to slack (:

Went out after school today. Thought I could eat curry hotpot but turned out we were not having dinner outside ): So I dutifully trudged back home and decided to cook mee goreng, instant. To lessen the guilt for eating instant noodles (my mom instilled this guilt in me! Though not for uncertified reasons (: ), I dumped alot of vegetables in it. Okay, that's what I normally do to all my meals if I can lah, to fulfill the "eat vegetables and fruits every day" condition that I was brought up by.

Here are some food pictures to brighten up my blog! Warning: not very appetising!

Dinner: My failed attempt at a hotpot ):

Chicken salad for lunch. Pretty pleased with it (:

Dinner: Haha, Laksa Maggi with lots of veg and tofu (to make up for the guilt, remember?)

Dinner: Tomato Egg Soup. It looks kinda mashed up because I accidentally stirred in the egg abit too fast. It was supposed to have a swirly egg kinda look.

Lunch: Teriyaki Salmon. It looks very charred because the pot is black too! Haha it turned out alright though I should have put more sugar in.

Yeah so these are my pathetic attempts at cooking. Heh, so if you think I cook well, think again! Total fail la. But as long as it's edible to me, I'm fine with it :P

Looks like I'll have to take China Airlines when I fly back because of the pitstop to Taiwan. Heard alot of negative comments about it (eg it falling into the sea etc), so I'm kinda apprehensive about it =x But if that's the only airline I can take, I can't be picky about it. I should just be thankful if I can go back again this time.

Just ate 汤圆courtesy of Kegan. Oh, I've missed the pandan flavour! They actually do sell pandan here, in an Indonesian shop. But ever since coming here, my motto had been to cook simple. Involving too many foreign ingredients is not my idea of simplicity. Maybe until I get my own kitchen and microwave oven la, then I'll attempt more exciting dishes. Haha and I've stopped posting my food pictures on FB to prevent any more negative comments lol.

Feel like eating ondeh-ondeh and muah chee. I always have such weird cravings at such weird times right! The last time I made a list of what I wanted to eat when I went back, but the funny thing was my desire to eat those sort of disappeared the moment I touched down in Singapore. I think I missed Singapore too much and that kinda channelled into my appetite, which was not exactly accurate after all. Y'know, like how you will always crave for the other country's food when you're in this country. When I was in Singapore, I craved sushi, to be honest. But ever since I came back, I've yet to eat even one. Huh. The ironies of life. I don't understand myself too.

Ruth! Hang in there, okay! I understand how tough school can get, but think of all the positives in your life (you're good at that, remember?) and you'll be fine! (: Will be praying for you!

Very belated, but Happy 21st Birthday Daphne! Sounds like you had a wonderful celebration! (:

What's this weird feeling in me.

Erp.

2010-01-17T01:10:00.000+09:00

Since I won't be able to send you guys presents for your 21st, you guys are excused from the obligation to send me mine.

Fair (:

Avatar.

2010-01-15T23:55:00.000+09:00

Seriously good movie. I liked the whole plot and development of it, not too rushed and not too draggy. Just nice (: Watched it in 3D, though yea I agree 3D wasn't really necessary actually. Gave me abit of a squint eye and I had to take it out a few times during the movie. So uncomfortable. I like Jake, though I thought he was a jerk in the beginning. Another instance of Zero to Hero :D :D I also liked his wife (can't spell her name, so shan't attempt). She's such an independent, brave woman! I admire her athletic skills and trim, slender body! Hahaha. The country's very green and nature-y, I like. Aside from all the action though, I think there's a greater significance to this movie. Like Pandora = Earth and the humans = us who wreck Mother Nature. Or Pandora = Eden, the humans = Sin. There're many ways of interpreting it actually. Kinda stopped me for awhile to think about it.

Really hope I can go back in March. I know la, I just came back and I want to go home again. I know there are people who are disapproving this but who cares? It's good for my emotional health and well-being, why do I have to care about what people say? Hello, Japan's longest holiday is probably 2 months max; compared to people in UK or Aussie, it's considered so uber short can. I just want to go back whenever I can, cannot meh? If I get to go back, my aim would be to spend lots of time with family because the last trip back they were nearly neglected ): But suddenly remembered I still have to settle some uni stuff - postage issues, soo it's still at a very unconfirmed stage.

Sad that I'll be missing so many 21st.

How it feels to be a popsicle.

2010-01-12T20:05:00.000+09:00

Ever wondered how it feels like to live in a freezer? I do now! And it's going to get even colder from tomorrow onwards. Gonna hit below 0 degrees celsius soon. My heater is turned on almost 24/7 (except when I'm in school, where heater is free of course XD), I'm wrapped up like a bundle, I'm dreaming of the glorious sun. This morning when I woke up, I felt so homesick. Like, incredibly. The feeling was so bad. Firstly, because I was dreaming of people back home which made me realised I was back to reality when I woke up, and secondly, because it was so cold that I didn't want to wake up and I was dreaming of being back home in my warm bed. Nightfall is officially at 4.30pm. Sigh. Winter is hardly the season to get pumped up for, is it? So do give me permission to emo.

Kegan did the math and I was pleasantly informed that I can officially skip school for the whole term after tomorrow and still graduate. Theoretically. Whoo. But of course, I can't do that even if I wanted to. Nevertheless, it's still very comforting to know that my attendance is secured when I don't feel like going to school, feeling emo, don't want to wake up on a cold dreary morning, feeling anti-social, feeling homesick. But of course, this came with hard work. I had 100% attendance for the past 2 sems. See kids, perseverance do pay off. (Not always in this form though, don't learn the wrong thing from me xP)

Felt lousy today but looking at pictures of snow and planning trips in my head is helping me feel better. I really don't understand why I always evolve into this person even I myself hate when I'm here. I just feel anti-social all the time and fall into episodes of self-sympathy and -hate. I'm pathetic, aren't I. Heh, I know that myself.

My fridge is still unstocked ever since I came back 2 days ago. So I've been having sad dinners. Today's dinner was hot milo and an afterschool snack of fruits and nuts. Yesterday's was... oh, yesterday I was out so dinner was good - assam chicken, pumpkin scones, muffins and cold sesame spinach, courtesy of Gerald and his nice little cosy place! But I haven't eaten anything substantial today, not because I'm on a starvation diet (I told you, Eric, I won't be able to accomplish that so don't worry :P), but because it's pelting liquefied hailstones and it's too cold to go out to buy groceries. Tomorrow would have better weather and thus, better food I promise.

When someone asks you "How are you?", it's ironic that they would expect to want to hear positive replies like "Good" or "Okay", but never "Horribleiaminsuchahorridmoodthatiwanttoshutmyselfupandstaythere". The bottomline: when people ask you something generic like that, don't feed the person with your lifestory. But I think I'm one of those minorities who would love for replies to be something honest and heartfelt instead of a PC one like "Good". Not because I'm sadistic, or because I enjoy hearing people's lives crash and burn, but because I would love to have someone like that to burst out to without them freaking out or giving me the "Errrr, okayyyy" look. This randomly occurred to me as I was pondering on social behaviour just now.

I remembered I had something else random to say but I can't recall it now. Hmm. Words fail me when I need them most.

Really should travel around more instead of staying in my room typing senseless posts like this. Haha. I want to go to the countryside to unwind for abit. Getting abit stifled by the people and citylife. Deatheater was here to visit.

I'm sorry for this utterly long and silly post. Thanks for reading if you've had the patience to read till HERE.

Rah. I need a hug. For warmth. And for some love.

Two Oh One Oh.

2010-01-01T20:54:00.000+09:00

Happy 2010, loves! (:

Awesomely glad I could spend New Year in Singapore with loved ones. 2009 was a year with new challenges and trials, 2010 will not have any lesser of them, but I pray it'll be a better one. Reflecting, I've been abundantly blessed in 2009 with love that I needed when I was feeling alone overseas. There were many ups and downs, but I'm still glad I've surpassed them, coming out triumphant.

Time has been passing by awfully fast recently. I'm now down to a little over 1 week left ): But I still have a million things I wanna do. It's making it even harder to go back to Winter Wonderland. Sometimes, I still can't reconcile the fact that I'm back in Singapore, and the more I can't reconcile the fact that I have to go back soon. I'm glad the distance didn't dilute any kinship or friendships; that we're all able to pick up from where we left off 9 months ago. This is why everything feels so surreal. The day I left seems just yesterday, the experience in Japan seems like a dream; I don't feel adequately settled in anywhere right now. I feel like a pilgrim - travelling along in this world, but not belonging to this world.

I can tell how much my parents miss me. I'm not trying to be bhb, but they've been spoiling me, and submitting to my whims and fancies because they keep thinking that I won't be able to eat this or that when I return. I feel sad just thinking that I have to leave them a 2nd time round. It will never get easier I suppose, farewells that is. I'm just supersuper thankful (will always be) to God for giving me this family. I really love them (:

This trip back has also enforced the bond with churchies. From the Malaysia Mission trip to Christmas celebration to PingPong Tournament cum BBQ, I feel like I've gotten to know them on a whole new level. I'm not someone who feels comfortable with large groups of people, but churchies is probably the only large group that I can feel comfortable with talking to, joking with. I will continually give thanks for this family of brothers and sisters in Christ. Thanks churchies, for your words of encouragement whenever I feel down and for all your love and concern. I will miss worship and especially fellowship in AGPC terribly when I'm back. It never fails to amaze me how our differences do not clash but only serves to complement one another. I'm feeling emotional typing this.

Eric D! (: Loved every minute that I spent with you! Thanks for picking me up, for buying the prepaid cards for me, for spoiling me, for loving me for me (even I have problems loving myself sometimes hahahaha), for always compromising, for sacrificing so much of your time and effort on me! LDR is definitely not easy but we just have to keep on trying to understand each other and leave the rest to God. ilu ((:

One nighter with the girls yesterday was super fun, though all of us turned zombies when morning swung by. We're really getting old! Haha to think we used to be able to not sleep for one whole day and still have the energy level to last through the next. This is another semi-large group that I'm able to feel comfortable in, thank God (: BBF, Sherhan, Melissa, Bixiu, Yi Fang. Missed Daphne, Jing Yi ("I wonder what Jing Yi is doing now?" Hahaha) and Ruixi ): P.S. the surprised looks of Sherhan and Melissa were classic! LOL too bad I didn't manage to tape it down hahahaha. Don't worry girls I don't think I'll pull off another surprise, but this one acheived its intended effect (though some people got wind of the word way before). SUCCESS! :D

I'm very proud that I'm still very much in touch with two of my primary school friends. They've been my longest, oldest friends and I'm very thankful for them (: While other people might have primary school class reunions all the time but I'm satisfied having two quality primary school friends that I can always hang out with. So proud of you guys! One's a budding lawyer and the other's a budding doctor :D Well, I guess the elite genes didn't rub off me but we all have different aims in life, so that's okay hahaha. Zi Ying, the ever happening and busybusy girl, Ruth the ever optimist and idealist. Thank God for you two.

Baking at ZiYing's house tomorrow and grandma's birthday party in the evening.

I haven't gotten the chance to be free ever since I got back but I'm really loving it - the busyness. 3 weeks is really too short to do everything I would like to, but it would have to suffice. There are still some people whom I haven't met up with but would love to. I wonder how they did it when they were only back for 2 weeks in summer.

Upcoming challenges in year 2010:

- another boring term (final, though!) of school to persevere through
- UNI =S
- moving issues
- having to readapt to a new environment and making new friends (this makes me wince just thinking about it)
- lose weightttt
- being a better friend

On an end note, here's the quote of 2009:

On coming home and seeing Eric seated on the floor with a luggage next to him,
Dad : Eh? You just came back from a holiday?? (As if it was such a duh thing for Eric to be seated on our living room floor)

Hahahahahaha. My dad is so cute, honestly :D

Belated, but ただいま!

Thank God!

2009-12-17T11:19:00.000+09:00

I really don't deserve this, but this time God has brought me through once again!

I did way better than I expected, especially for Math and 'Japan and the World'. I didn't even complete half the Math paper and I passed? That's seriously bewildering. The others must have really done very badly.. as I said before, it's sad when your happiness is built on other people's misery. Japanese however was pretty disappointing. It's not bad, per se, but I think I could have done better.. or maybe not, lah. This is the results I got for trying my best, so this is the results I'll live with.

Must stop wanting what I don't have and start appreciating what I have in front of me!

And my results reflect how bad I am at multi-tasking, hahahaha.

But whatever it is, thank You, Lord, for bringing me through. Your grace is always sufficient. Indeed, indeed.

Now I can really have a good holiday ahead! YAY 双喜临门, this calls for a celebration! :D

我思う、ゆえに我在り

2009-12-15T19:42:00.000+09:00

誰でも知っているデカルトの有名な言葉だが、
これは「俺が考えているってことは、俺がいるんだなぁ」
という単純なものではない。
もう少し深い意味を持つ。

この世で、「最も確かなこと」は、何だろう？
この世で、「全く疑う余地のないこと」は、何だろう？

これをデカルトは考えた。

たとえば、目の前にある世界は、本物だろうか？
いやいや、これは幻なのかもしれない。夢なのかもしれない。
だって、夢を見ているとき、これが夢だとは気がつかないではないか。

今、見ているものは、実際には存在しないのかもしれない。
これが夢、幻じゃないと、どうやって証明できるだろう。
そんなことは、原理的に、決してできない。

じゃあ、数学は？学問は？論理は？
いやいや、それが正しいと思うのは、思い込みかもしれない。
だって、夢をみているとき、論理的におかしなことが起きても、
それをおかしいと感じないではないか。

では、やはり「絶対的に正しい」と宣言できるものは何もないのか？

デカルトは、全てを疑った。
疑って、疑って、疑い続け、
それでも正しいといえるものは何かを根気強く考え続けた。
そしてある日、天啓のような考えがひらめく。

「我々が認識するものは、すべて嘘かもしれない。
　でも、それを疑い続けているものがいるということだけは真」
であると。

たとえ、
「疑っている」ということを疑ったとしても、
やっぱり「何かを疑っている」ことは真なのだ。

たとえ、すべてが夢であっても、
その夢を見て、夢じゃないかと疑っている自分が存在すること
は決して疑えない。

この世のすべてが、信じられないものであろうとも、
それを『疑っている何者かが存在すること』は、絶対的な真実なのだ。

これが「我思う、ゆえに我在り」という言葉の本質的な意味である。
デカルトは、この言葉を「決して疑えない確かな真実」として、
哲学の第一原理にすえたのである。
近代哲学は、デカルトから始まる。

I thought this was very fascinating and meaningful, so I'm posting it here.

It's based on a famous quote from Descartes: "I think, therefore I am" and it's background.

In essence, Descartes spent his whole life doubting everything in this world. He wondered what was real in this world because everything we are seeing might actually be a lie - afterall, when we are dreaming, we don't realise we are dreaming until we wake up.

Later on in his life, he stumbled upon a revealation that nothing is true in this world, but the fact that nothing is true. Oxymoronic, but true. Like nothing is certain in this world, but death. Something to that effect.

Therefore, it's an absolute truth that we do exist, even if we doubt what we see. Our very existence is a fact that cannot be doubted.

Therefore, "I think, therefore I am".

>Hmm.. food for thought.

Shiok, ah!

2009-12-15T15:57:00.000+09:00

Hahaha cheap thrill. The day Charmine found Googlemap! I know la, so suagu right. I think half of the world knows about it already and I only found it today! I saw my neighbourhood! And AJC! And Ang Mo Kio! And Orchard Road! The sense of familiarity is so awakening. Now I know where to come when I get homesick! (:

Seriously, technology can be both a bane and a boon. But in this case, it's such a dearly-loved Boon! Ah Boon! Haha sorry I'm going crazy.

Last day of exam tomorrow! Not that it really feels like exam period. People were cheating their way through the papers and it's just really nonsense la. I think even the teachers don't think it's very important. But anyhows holidays start tomorrow -> GO! I'm in the holiday mood already. My heart's in Singapore! Someone pick it up. Getting excited about the upcoming mission trip, the foooooood and the sorely-missed company!

The temperature is dropping very rapidly. In 2 days' time, the lowest temp is going to hit 1degree celsius. I'm not a below-10degrees person so I'm quite nervous about it. Winter is starting to set in.

Results out tomorrow. Nervoussss. But it's just pointless to rant about what's been done, so I'll just see what God gives me and be satisfied with that.

Hmmm.. my tagboard is acting strange. Probably because of the lack of length in recent entries.

I've lost the ability to write long entries. Maybe because nothing exciting is happening.The past week had been a whirlwind and to be honest, I can't really remember what's happened. Disney Sea (pictures up in FB!), school, finally getting to sleep in on a Saturday after consecutive weeks after weeks of events going on and Gospel Christmas! Awesome to see how God works!

How I wish time could come to a standstill for the next few weeks..

Lost something important today )':

-

2009-12-09T22:26:00.000+09:00

OMG, I'M SO HAPPY!

SINGAPORE'S RADIO STATIONS ARE BACK ON LIVE :D :D :D

Retail Therapy!

2009-12-06T22:36:00.000+09:00

Just when I was talking about shopping yesterday. I went today! Didn't expect myself to buy as many things as I did, but Retail Therapy indeed. Happyyy (: But spent close to 200bucks, so abit 心痛, but it's quite worth it leh, IMO. That amount to get 2 coats, 1 pair of boots, 1 top is actually quite a steal already! and anyway that's what happens when you haven't shopped in a veryveryvery long! And I spent all my dinner money and time on shopping plus walked alot, so in a way, it's exercise too! But the lugging it around and back home was a pain, literally. My right shoulder must be depressed after all that.

I'm soooooo tired right now. Disney Sea tomorrow, yay!

Good night, good night.

Chasing Pavements.

2009-12-05T17:58:00.000+09:00

Today's rain was not Tokyo Rain! It was more than a drizzle, which by the way is the equivalent of Tokyo Rain. So I walked home in the rain, because I was too cheapskate to buy an umbrella. Haha. But I'm only bringing this up because something very heartwarming happened! In the rain! Hahaha it's quite a give-away, isn't it. A woman shared her umbrella with me! Although that only happened about 50m away from my place, but the offer was so sweet. Good Samaritans like that make you want to celebrate humanity. But of course, there are Evil People who make you want to punch humanity.

Yeah, now you know my soft spot.

I can't believe I haven't been shopping for about 4 months. That's so unreal! I couldn't have survived without shopping maximum for 2months in Singapore! What's happening to me? Maybe cos there's noone in particular that I can just call out on a shopping trip spontaneously. And cos it's lonely to shop alone. I think many people do that in Japan! I mean the Japanese. I'm still not very used to it because I like asking for opinions and taking my time to dwell on whether to buy or not. Hahaha my friends should know that characteristic very well, though it drives them up the wall most of the time. Ah, I miss my shopping buddies. BBF! ):

I really don't like the city. I enjoy the peace and quiet of suburbs much more, I think. The city makes you feel so empty despite the hustle and bustle around you. This feeling just makes you feel worser and emptier than ever. I don't like that. It's depressing. Too bad I'm not able to get out of the city. Damned to 5 years of city-life. Waa death-eaters all around.

Tired. Shall stop blogging.

December.

2009-12-01T22:17:00.000+09:00

At last!

Just read Straits Times Online and found out that the parking test is going to do without poles! For those who did not/are not learning driving, you probably won't understand the fuss. But I think this is a very good move! The poles are ridiculously redundant in the first place. Yes, it helps you to focus on something when you're learning parking for the first time. But in reality, there are no poles. I'd rather learn it the hard way than to have a hard time later on. This probably explains why I still can't park well although I've passed driving. Kudos to whoever who realised the practicality of this move!

Random.

I can't believe it's December already! December always makes me a very happy girl :D Really am looking forward to Christmas - my favourite season of the year! :D :D

Even more random.

Not that this has anything to do with Christmas. Or anything at all. But I'm reaaally dreaming of waffles. I wanna eat waffles so baaaad. Especially the A&W one, but too bad they closed down in Singapore. It used to be a fond memory of mine going to A&W with the family on Sunday mornings and having the spongy golden-crisp waffle with maple syrup and ice cream and curly fries. Mmmm.. makes my mouth water just thinking about it. Well, I could settle for Udders too. I definitely want to go there when I'm back! And I also want to eat the neighbourhood waffle. You know, the green pandan one. From Prima Deli. That's the best.

While I'm at it, I'll make a list of cravings.

1. Dim Sum (Buffet at Meritus Mandarin/Yumcha)

2. Waffles

3. Ang Ku Kueh (Yes, STILL. After so long!)

4. Super Ring

5. Pandan Cake

6. Zi Char

7. Char Siew Rice

8. Fried Bee Hoon

9. 菜饭

10. Calbee Hot & Spicy Chips (Hopefully I can get that tomorrow!)

11. Durian/Chocolate cake from Jane's Cake Station

12. 面煎糕

13. 萝卜糕 black please

14. My mom's taohu goreng/dried noodles

15. The colourful cupcakes from Pasam Malam (what are they called again?)

101. Whatever random eating expeditions, I'm there!

Okay, off to sleep now. I'm getting a kick out of sleeping early nowadays :D

Shall leave you with a sign on the train I found superbly amusing.

Reads:

It's painful to get caught between the doors.

Even more so are the eyes of those looking.

HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Thank God it's December.

The day we were.

2009-11-28T23:47:00.000+09:00

Scratchy throat and throbbing headache - signs that I was falling sick. Temperature of 38.3degrees - even more obvious sign. Appetite loss - I know I'm sick.

The only thing I appreciate about falling sick is the appetite loss which leads to weight loss. At my current appetite, I can finish eating a cow and still go for dessert. Yes, it's that bad. And it's obvious from my pictures that I've put on quite abit of weight, I know ): Crap la. Must try to lose some weight before I go back! Or else I'll be facing alot of "Eh you grew fatter!" or "你胖了hor!" -______- But at least I'm not starving myself right? And 能吃是福! Haha I don't even know if I'm trying to convince myself or whoever's reading it. But please be kind with the comments. Being fat is never easy.

Not to mention I ate alot todayyyyy. My sinful indulges ):

Caramel with macademia nuts french pancake. Superduper yummy!

Close-up!

One big happy family. SO CUTE RIGHT!

Then Cold-Stoned with Jason. This is Sweet Berry Tea Cake. Acquired taste, but good all the same.

Jason!

Wa it feels sooo good to finally have a friend come over. Like I always say, it makes me feel closer to home! Thanks for the pineapple tarts (doesn't go with my diet plan, however), the treat for okonomiyaki and an extremely entertaining evening (: This is proof to all 3206-ers that we met up!

Good day, today, I'll say. Jadedness comes and go anytime it pleases. Hopefully it won't come to visit for a long time.

Disclaimer: I'm not always so emo. It's just my tendency to blog when I'm feeling sad/angsty that yielded that conclusion. So here's one happy post to break that belief!

Shoots. Broke my chain of sleeping at 10pm. 12.20am now. My bed beckons.

Nose blocked. My nose is running awayy.

Lovely night, all.

Stand by me.

2009-11-24T21:24:00.000+09:00

Haven't felt this Jaded for weeks.

Want to take a break from people for awhile. But being in a dorm, that's impossible. Possibly fueling on Jadedness.

Just want to be with people I want to be with right now.

Maybe it's the exhaustion talking.

I'm exhausted beyond words.

From everything.

Nothing's wrong, don't worry.

Just saying.

감사합니다

2009-11-16T23:35:00.000+09:00

You know how much I hate conflicts.

So glad I managed to ease this burden that has been on my back for so long.

It's true; honesty is the best policy. It's not some cliched primary-school phrase that everyone likes to use in their compositions. It really applies in real-life. It may hurt but as I mentioned in my previous post, honesty from a friend is something appreciated a hundred times over than hypocrisy from an enemy. I'd take the hurt anytime.

Thank you for this transcending peace that I've found in Truth and Your promise.

Thanks for those who listened, who gave advice, who was just there for me when I was going through a bump.

Every day, every day, I treasure you guys more and more.

(:

Twelve

2009-11-15T23:52:00.001+09:00

Sorry for the lack of updates!

Ever since the trauma of EJU, I have since decided to forget about it until results day - 12/15. Crying about it will not make my grades any higher. I'll leave that to God. Therefore, I shall now focus on the upcoming DECEMBER and the million things that I have on my to-do list. Seriously, I don't know what will actually make me stick to my lists. I love making lists (I'm anal like that, which explains why I'm a Type A) but the ironic thing is that I do -not- follow them. Then, part of me gets so irritated with the other me that I didn't follow the list that I wrote up. Haha sounds like split personality!

This week had been busy. Busy with what, you ask. I don't know what also! I've been sleeping even later than before EJU. Currently watching BOF hahaha. And the weather has been perfect sleep-in weather. It's dropping to below 10degrees tomorrow onwards ): My nightmare. Fighting very hard to resist the temptation to pon school every now and then. It's really nottttt easy I tell you!

Plus, I really need to go on a diet. The cold is making me hungrier than ever and because of the same cold, it's making me miss my jogs. Too cold to jogggg. Can someone tell me how they manage to jog when it's like 5degrees outside?? Wear scarf and coat to jog ah?

Honestly, I'm starting to see how important it is to stay joyful even when your circumstances are anything but that. I haven't mastered it yet, but I just really hope I can see the light at the end of every tunnel I enter. I'm so tired of being sad. And the more tiring it is for people who hear me all depressed and sad everytime they talk to me.

I've a friend who had 2 friends around the same age pass away within this year. As he was lamenting about the pain and sorrow, I was once again reminded how short our life on this earth is. During service, the pastor said something about another pastor who passed away leaving a legacy behind. I'm not a pastor, but it set me thinking how my eulogy would sound like. I don't want something PC like "She was a nice girl, nice friend and she'll be dearly missed". That, interpreted, sounds like "She was nice enough but she didn't impact anyone's life enough to say anything more". Sadly, I think if I were to die now, my eulogy would probably sound like the PC one. Interpersonal relationships - I've never been good at them. I'm too permissive for my own good, that I don't let my personality shine through. I'm always going with what please everyone, not having a stand, not having any breakthrough ideas. Always the wallflower. Nice almost sounds like a bad word in this world. I'm still trying to sieve out what my strong points are. I don't have any blatant talents. Whatever talent God has given me is still buried inside, I suppose. My goal is to excavate that. Or if anyone would like to tell me what are my good points, please do. And don't give me PC answers. "Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses" (Proverbs 27:6)

Yawns it's 12.26am now. Listening to Corrinne May's Christmas album :D

Can't wait for Christmas <3>

Wonderwall.

2009-11-08T21:17:00.000+09:00

Well, well.

They don't call it D-Day for nothing.

I would have loved to say that I think I did pretty well, but the truth is not anywhere near there, sadly ): I panicked during Jap, everything that I studied for for Japan and the world didn't come out + the questions that did were all pinpointing my weakness - geography, and Math! Arghhh couldn't even solve one full question!

I don't know how dead I am because the results are moderated and I wouldn't know how well/badly the cohort did. Exams are sadistic this way - they bank on others' weaknesses to pull your own grades up. I don't like how exams work.

I don't feel like drowning in sorrow, but neither do I feel like I deserve to kick back and relax..

)':

Sigh.

Disappointed and frustrated.

Say A Little Prayer For You.

2009-11-04T00:32:00.000+09:00

Nostalgia at 12.30am.

The moment I wake up
Before I put on my makeup
I say a little prayer for you
While combing my hair, now,
And wondering what dress to wear, now,
I say a little prayer for you

Forever, forever, you'll stay in my heart
and I will love you
Forever, forever, we never will part
Oh, how I'll love you
Together, together, that's how it must be
To live without you
Would only be heartbreak for me.

I run for the bus, dear,
While riding I think of us, dear,
I say a little prayer for you.
At work I just take time
And all through my coffee break-time,
I say a little prayer for you.

Forever, forever, you'll stay in my heart
and I will love you
Forever, forever we never will part
Oh, how I'll love you
Together, together, that's how it must be
To live without you
Would only be heartbreak for me.

My darling believe me,
For me there is no one
But you.

Aretha Franklin - I Say A Little Prayer

This song is so sweet (:

Tinted Glass.

2009-11-03T20:56:00.001+09:00

6 hours of studying + 6 hours of smoke-filled lungs = huge headache and a developing strong hatred for smoke.

I smell like smoke now.

Seriously, smoke stinks! Even sitting at the non-smoking area is no use. The smoke wafts over from the smoking-area which is just like 5metres away? They should really give a whole room to smokers and another for non-smokers PLUS a divider in between. I'm officially a second-hand smoker now.

I must have had 10cups of coffee today. Sitting in Mister Donut for 6 hours with free-flow of coffee is guilt-trip. I think I'm also developing an allergy to coffee-overload. Coffee is laxative, I think.

But besides all the above complaints, I'm proud of myself. -Pats self on back. Managed to study more than I had in the past week. I hope the information retains itself till my exams on Sunday is over!

5 more days =x

Everyone's busybusy with exams now. All the best, you guys (:

Having not a care in the world..
いいなあ・・・
そうなりたい。
何で大切にしているものをいつも奪われているの？
もう。
諦めようとすると、
神様は私を抱いてくれて、
愛してくれて、
そばにいてくれる。
いつも、いつも。
諦めないように。
心から感謝してる。

Just someone who loves me for me.
Is that too much to ask?
If your heart's not in it.

Ugly Duckling.

2009-10-31T00:11:00.000+09:00

Ugly Duckling was black. He was the only black one among his siblings. Everyone teased him, saying he wasn't of the same family as his siblings. However, Ugly Duckling didn't listen. In his eyes, he was unique, he was special; he didn't see the need to be like his siblings to belong with them.

Yet, the pull of our herd instinct is undeniable. When you don't blend in with the crowd, you fade away into your own world, enclosed by insecurities and nothingness. Human beings are such ironic creatures - the desire to follow the crowd is so great, yet at the same time, the desire to stand out is even greater. So what happens then? You can't go with the flow and yet stand out at the same time, can you? Which path will you take, eventually? Sadly, I think many of us choose to go with the flow. But yet, those who choose to take the path less trodden tends to go off hinge and end up on the other side waaaaay far. How do we keep our balance? I always think that as long as I live my life staying true to myself and to God, the rest doesn't matter. Afterall, you don't want to compromise on your own personality just to please others.

I need to reflect upon this.

Reading BestFriend's blog made me so nostalgic. Old-School. Hmmm... the best times of my life was indeed during school (okay, I've been in school all my life - what am I talkin about?). Here's my list!

1. Polaroids
2. Time Capsule
3. Sweet Valley
4. Oreo-Twist
5. Dunking chocolate chip cookies in milk (yes, I love this too!!)
6. Pinafores With Low Slung Belts
7. Ben A1
8. Alarm Clock Radio
9. Doodling
10. Lists

One day I'm going to look back and really reminisce. They all seem like yester-year. We're all growing up so fast.

Stop, Time, stop.

Just for awhile.

No words needed.

Just memories that will last a lifetime.

Sprinkle of.

2009-10-27T00:05:00.000+09:00

Good Midnight, all!

After walking half an hour in the crazy wind and rain, I feel as if I've been tracking through North Pole for a day.

Nah, I exaggerate.

Had a satisfying dinner of Korean barbeque but am feeling the aftereffects of it - guilt and regret. Hahaha, from all the fats and oil and money spent!

Funny how I always manage to save up quite abit and manage to blow what I've managed to scrimp on towards the end of the month. Grr, I need self-discipline.

Coffee on an empty stomach makes me sleepy and headache-y.

Bought fluffy bedroom slippers and socks because my heels are cracking from the constant exposure to wind and cold. Now my legs feel snug and comfy (: Shall indulge in soup for this week since I'm poor and fat, and it's cold.

Did a crazy thing spontaneously this morning. Decided just not to go for morning lessons. It doesn't sound out-of-the-world but it's something that I was adverse to doing before EJU because I'm anal about my attendance. It gives me a kick out of seeing the 100%.

Sadly, the weather and my mind took over and got the better of me this morning.

Say hi to 97% for this term.

I'm crazy.

I know.

Haven't been feeling like myself recently. I'm losing alot of who I used to be in Singapore here. I don't know if it's a good thing. The core shows more obviously when the outside gets chipped away more and more, doesn't it?

I may smile alot more over here, but whether if that is my true self, ask me not.

But sometimes, sometimes, it's so tiring.

* BestFriend! I got your long-awaited letter! I love it!! Thanks for the awesome recipes which I'm going to try after my exams! :D :D

Beauty in Joy.

2009-10-24T16:39:00.001+09:00

I'm back from MIA-ing!

I was about to post an emo post yesterday night, when someone scolded me out of it.

That's right - I'm not a handicap; I can run, walk, eat, drink, smile, complain. Compared to the less fortunates, I'm probably a million more times blessed than them, and probably am feeling just a fraction of their pain and sorrow.

See, I was listening, okay!

Thank you, D. (: (:

And I'm super thankful for BestFriend who managed to make me feel better. You're overflowing with love! If there was one person who could understand my plight, it's probably you. As you said, it's a gift and a blessing to wonder. In times of trials, the gift to wonder is essential in taking you out of that place of suffering, into another world where you can heal and take refuge in (:

Who said the people next to you are always the best? Somehow, I relish in fellowship with people back home more than ever now. Distance, in my case, does make my heart grow fonder.

I don't know who has been praying for me, but thank you for your prayers. I feel like I'm striking a compromise with my senses now after a prolonged period of fighting with my inner demons.

I really had it with caring so much about what people think, how many friends I have.

I admit I'm not the most social person around, and I do struggle alot with meeting new people. I don't think I have the pull-factor to attract people to me, so I'm just thankful for people who have stuck by me even when I have nothing to offer them.

Quality over quantity anytime. As long as I have you, that's enough (:

Exams in 2 weeks! To be precise, 2 weeks 1 day. Haha I really can't wait for exams to be over! I don't know what exactly I'd do after that but at least I don't have to worry about feeling guilty if I don't study. So before that is made possible, the guilt is here to stay.

The weather is starting to turn cooler now. I know Singapore's still a sweltering 33degrees or so. Sometimes I wished it was warmer because my fingers always feel so numb and frozen, like popsicles. Growing up in Singapore probably made me more of a sun&beach girl, rather than the Winter Sonata girl. I don't know what I'm going to do in winter if I can't withstand this 10+ degrees. As I'm typing, my fingers and toes are starting to freeze up again although my windows are closed. I wasn't born in June for no reason.

Andandand, I've been thinking of converting my license so that I can drive in Japan! So exciting right! So next time if anyone comes over, we can go for a drive together! SO EXCITING! Japanese cars to equipped with GPS so you can't get that lost. Plus it's way cheaper to rent a car and split it among a few people rather than by public transport. SO ANYONE COMING TO JAPAN, PLEASE TELL ME! WE SHALL GO FOR A DRIVE :D:D I hope my parents allow me to drive in Japan.

ALSO! Who wants to go Taiwan/HongKong/China/Korea?? I'm thinking of paying a visit to my neighbours. You know, formality and courtesy calls. Lol.

The world seems so much more beautiful when you're cheery, doesn't it? (:

The Bell Jar - Protected

2009-10-08T16:00:00.001+09:00

Show encrypted text

Password hint: dog

Wake-up call.

2009-10-04T00:37:00.000+09:00

2016 Olympics in Rio de Janeiro! First South American country to hold the Olympic Games! I don't know why I'm so excited about it, but probably because I see that the world is changing. Ever since Obama got elected as President of the United States of America, I've observed the world has been stepping forth in many never-before boundaries (or maybe I'm just a late observer). Well, but I'm no analyst; not like I know the significant impact of this move. Fell asleep before the voting took place, but I was more excited that I understood what's going on rather than what's actually going on hahahaha.

Whatever.

Happy Mid-Autumn Festival, y'all! I always thought it was called Mooncake Festival. Okay, that term does exist, but apparently it sounds silly because it sounds so noob! Sigh, another thing I realised after coming here - how noob I am ): I couldn't guess any 灯谜s! I was the only one okay! Talk about humiliation. But at least my salad was a hit. I guess if I'm not quite the Scholar, I can be the Cook.

Now I can't get to sleep because I overate..

I wish you'd stop saying you can't do it;
I wish you'd work harder;
I wish you'd have the need for urgency;
I wish you'd stop putting yourself down;
I wish you'd have more confidence in yourself;
I wish you'd have more confidence in the Creator;
I wish you'd not let people get to you so much;
I wish you'd stop comparing yourself to others;
I wish you'd put everything down and rush to the finishing line;
I wish you'd be less PMS-y;
I wish you'd just learn to be happy with what you have;
I wish you'd find joy in life;
I wish you'd overcome the exams.

Don't think I'll let you off so easily
Just because you have the same face,
The same name.
That's not me.
You're you,
I don't have to live your life,
Because I've mine to live.

Looking at the world through the glass.

I need a clearer view.

Fee-fi-fo

2009-09-29T16:50:00.000+09:00

Anyone craving for a chocolate cake and not wanting to make one because of all the hassle? Well, fear not! Here comes the "Five-minute chocolate cake in a mug"!

It's especially suited for students (like me) who don't have much time to waste on baking a full-blown cake and who don't have the money to blow money on baking ingredients.

http://chowtimes.com/2009/07/10/five-minute-chocolate-cake-in-a-mug/

This is simple enough, I must say. I was pleasantly surprised when I saw it (:

I tried it.

Currently, influencing a senior to try it too. Wahaha.

But, my cake didn't turn out moist and soft like it should. It's more spongy, and I think I didn't dissolve the flour enough, yech. I'm trying to figure out what went wrong! Hrmff. And half of my cake dropped out of the cup onto the disgustingly horrifying dirty microwave surface and I had to throw it away ): Sigh. Nvm I'll challenge it again another time. Ah kenna bluffed!

Whoever tries it and got a nice moist chocolate cake please tell me!!

I really can't wait to get my own kitchen, oven, sink. Living in a 3by3 really kills your mood.

Anyhows, Mid-Autumn Festival is coming! My parents are sending me mooncakes, yummy! And the Singaporeans are having a potluck. Heh interesting to see what sort of things people can come up with :D I really do need more ideas for recipes. Stuck eating the same food over and over. It gets so bad to the extent that I don't even feel like eating anymore. I want someone to cook for me ):

I still taste flour.

摆乌龙！！

2009-09-26T10:25:00.001+09:00

I feel so horrid now.

Supposed to go for some Japanese snack-making thing but I mixed up the timing and caused a friend to miss it too.

Sigh, when will I learn?

Read things properly through, Charmine. Where're your brains?? You have to stop dragging people down with you because of your mistakes.

...

I'm really sorry.

):

Made me smile (:

2009-09-25T21:36:00.000+09:00

People! You have to watch this! These are too cute and too hilarious to be missed!!

Moral of the story: Never underestimate animals (:

I still want my hair.

2009-09-20T23:48:00.000+09:00

Wow, spitting image of the current Charmine -

Except my books are not piled up as nicely as hers.

Charmine is very, very, very stressed now.

There's only 47 days to D-Day.

Right now, all I can ask for are God's grace, prayers and a miracle.

I just hope all my hair will still be intact after everything's over.

I still want my hair.

Such talent.

2009-09-20T00:39:00.000+09:00

I really applaud her. Bravo.

101 Happy Things.

2009-09-04T18:51:00.000+09:00

Today, is a good day.

Because it's Friday!

I always say my mood is like the shape of a right angle seen from Sine's domain - it literally shoots up way high when Friday is around the corner. Oh wait, actually not really. My lowest day would be Wednesday. So Wednesday is the line of symmetry, and Friday is the maximum point. So if you complete the square, it'd probably look like this:

Mood=(x-Wednesday)²+Low; Monday < x < Friday

Hahahaha, Math overload. Don't be fooled, I'm just trying to look as if I know my Math when in fact, I really don't.

What I'm happy about today:

1. TGIF!
2. School trip from next Wed-Fri (get to miss lessons!).
3. Got nice roomies for abovementioned trip.
4. There is a 3-day consecutive holiday in 2 weeks time.
5. I don't feel PMS-y today (alot to be thankful for).
6. Seeeecret.
7. Autumn's arrival soon.
8. Francine's snailmail.
9. Went for a jog.
10. Christmas is just around the corner!
11. A dog wagged its tail and bounded up to me. It was sooooo cute! I miss Lucky ):

11 perfect things to be thankful for, praise God :D

And now I'm in another dilemma. Should I do part-time job? The money is tempting, but it's not as if I need money. I want more of the experience and the doing-something-constructive-instead-of-holing-myself-up-using-the-computer-everyday. Hmmmm but exams are around the corner and I have alot to catch up with (reason obvious enough).

HMMMMM.

Opportunity cost: Giving something of lesser value up to gain something else of greater value.

Now, which is my opportunity cost?

Ungraded.

2009-08-27T21:32:00.000+09:00

I failed a class.

It's called -

"Dynamics of Mixing and Socialising Well With Fellow Homosapiens".

..

I'm this close to giving up trying to pass this class.

Surreal.

2009-08-26T22:50:00.000+09:00

I miss the smell of LT5.

3206 people, you guys will understand, right?

The smell wafted in and it really brought back some very nostalgic memory of AJC. Outside LT2 where we hung around taking up so much space and making so much noise, canteen where the whole of 3206 would sit together and ramble on about everything under the sun, Econs class with Mdm Woon's resounding "righhttttttt?", Math class where everyone doesn't pay attention in (okay I did la hahaha), PE where we had to run 2 warmup laps plus 6 laps after and the unanimous groans, the people that made every day fun (I don't have to mention names la. You guys are BHB enough to self-admit), the ponning of GP lectures, the lit texts we had to read over and over again, Edward's sarcasm and cynicism, Tan Yi'en's tinkling laughter and the silly things she say, Lydia's hypermaniac-uncontrollable-nottomentionembarassingbutentertaining laughter, Christine's matter-of-factness that puts everyone down complete with The Look, Greg's "It depends on how you define _____", Guan's ability to rant on about things when noone's really paying attention, Cheryn's signature pose when sleeping in Econs lecture, MJ's act-serious-but-not-serious look, Joti the drama queen ever, Jason's dry humour that cracks everyone up without fail, Daphne's ability to switch between being the Normal among the Abnormals and the Abnormal with the Abnormals, Mr Loh's "Okay"s that come packaged with the unconscious head wobble, Saffie's quirky comments and ultimate blurness, Danial's mystifying obsession with "A Walk to Remember" and sensitivity of the opposite gender, etcetera etcetera etcetera.

All we had to worry in those days were if the canteen was crowded, did we have enough time to eat, what we were going to go during PE (6 rounds AGAIN?!), and of course A Levels. But I really had alot of fun during the last stretch when everyone (tried to) mugged (mug) together.

I really miss you guys.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Had the most horrid interview today.

Teacher: How many hours do you study per day?
Me: Errr... 1 hour? (thinks to myself, I don't even study 15mins a day but I obviously can't say that. 15mins-roundup-1 hour)
Teacher: !!! (Laughs) 1 hour? How come? The others study 3-5 hours a day, why do you only study 1 hour a day? Studies are too easy for you so don't have to study?
Me: (omg, 1 hour is already rounded up and it's not a satisfactory answer??)Nono, not easy at all! Umm..
Teacher: Okay, so what do you do the rest of the time?
Me: Use the computer.... (This is not going well. At all)
Teacher: And what do you do?
Me: Err, chat?
Teacher: (Laughs) With your Singaporean friends?
Me: Yes...
Teacher: *writes it down on the paper*

Mortifying. I really hope he doesn't submit that to the school or have to recommend me for uni, or I know I won't make it.

I felt so bad after the interview that I came back and studied for 2 hours. It's a feeble stab at trying to make myself better but from now onwards, I really want to keep to this regime. I have to.

夏祭り

2009-08-21T22:59:00.000+09:00

Went to a Summer Festival today. Boy, was it PACKED. Literally. We were like packed sardines, hardly any space to move, with people shoving you around and being small-sized, I was dying under the heat given out by people's breaths/body whatever. Rah. Times like this make me wish I was taller. Is the air any fresher up there?

Hardly any space in between people for moving.

Show you some interesting photos.

This is flashing ice! So pretty right!!! Glad I managed to get a shot when it turned green :D I tried so hard to get a shot when it was green and had me inside but failed miserably ): But I guess this works better. I'd probably have ruined the photo LOL.

Spot the funny.

Choco FLESH cream. Eww cream made out of flesh??

Hahaha but I found it amusing that the rest of the "fresh"-es were spelt correctly; only that flavour had "fresh" spelt as "flesh". Hmmm.

And there was this point of time when a whole surge of girls in yukatas almost bowled me over. Like honestly, a whole throng. I thought there was a bomb activated or something. Turns out that there was a celebrity. I didn't manage to see him!! If I had, I'd be able to say that I've seen a famous Japanese celebrity before on the streets in Japan ): Here's what I missed out.

He acted in Hana Kimi and a whole bunch of other dramas. I'm sure Jap-drama-lovers will know him. I guess I can understand why that whole throng of girls did what they did xD

Ah well. Not everyone gets to see a celebrity on the streets anyway.. not unless you're in tiny Singapore hahaha.

Another homestay tomorrow again, just that it's only 2 days 1 night and a lot more work. I have to introduce Singapore to some Japanese students and I've decided to showcase PCK with the SARS rap. I got pretty addicted to it myself after listening to it for about 5 times haha. I just hope they'll understand what I'm talking about. I hate public speaking! Praying that this homestay will be a good experience too.

I'm really tired.

Friend, thanks for your angsty message! :D Don't worry, I understand. Every day is not your day either! xD BTW, I'm afraid I won't do up the list because I'm completely hopeless at making lists heh.

Greys.

2009-08-17T23:51:00.001+09:00

School-blues.

I wonder why are blues called blues. Why can't they be called greys or blacks or browns. Blue is not exactly a depressing colour, is it? It's the colour of the beautiful sky, clear crystal sea, Sapphire stone and one of the colours of the happy-coloured rainbow.

I feel a sudden urge to apologize. For being so emotional, for being so needy, for being so demanding of your time. I'm learning to let go, I really am.

But it's so hard.

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

Don't ask me what's this about, please.

Why have you gone away?

2009-08-14T00:19:00.001+09:00

Baked muffins today! It was totally on a whim, felt that my ingredients were wasted just sitting around taking up space, so I decided to do something since I didn't have anything else better to do either. Handy Toaster really amazed me that she was able to produce muffins. Okay la, they aren't really muffins, per se, considering that they were rather crispy than soft and fluffy on the outside haha. But I'm not complaining. You just have to live with what you're given and i think Toaster has given me her best :D

Baking in process

1st Batch

2nd Batch

3rd Batch

They are rather burnt on the surface because Toaster is used to toasting bread to crispiness, but the burnt edges have decreased significantly since 1st Batch :D But the burnt edges give them texture.

"外脆内软" - Friend A who tried it.

Heh rather proud of it, since it's my virgin attempt. Even after halving the recipe, I think I made a tad too many. I ate like 20 and I still have 6 for breakfast tomorrow =\ Thank God they're bite-sized.

That's all for Toaster's Virgin Conquest for today. Stay tuned for more (;

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Here are the pictures I promised from my homestay.

Without Grandpa

Without Dad

My two girls, Rika & Riho (:

Oh, I have to explain this picture. They were trying to pretend that they were little people who has short legs and hands. Hahaha so adorable right ((:

*That's Yuto on the left. I'm tickled by his words, almost all the time (:

I love this! <3>

A picture that speaks a thousand words.

People drift apart because they don't make a
conscious effort to communicate and to spend enough time with each other. Don't let it happen to us, please.